In another thread, SilkyCDresser said that yesterday was the first time she wore makeup. What a coincidence - mine too.
I told my sweet wife that after the morning chores were done I wanted to go upstairs to try out some makeup. I asked her if she would be okay handling things downstairs without me for a while. She said that she would be okay, and encouraged me to have some girly time. (my term, not hers)
It was simply an academic exercise to develop a new skill. At least that's the way it began.
I viewed a couple You-Tube videos, took notes, laid out my stuff and began the process. It was supposed to be a learning and doing experience, much the same as repairing the washing machine or building a deck.
Everything was going according to that plan until I was done with the close-in work with the little mirror and went over to the big mirror to brush out my wig and apply lipstick. It was an emotional moment. I stood there for quite a while, trying to analyze what I was feeling. It wasn't one of those euphoric moments, but it was very calming and quite satisfying. I felt so very ... er ... um ... natural. It felt so 'right' that it was unsettling. It didn't feel weird, naughty, erotic, shameful, or disgusting. It felt like that is what I should be doing, and I was happy I had done it.
I am not yet comfortable telling my wife about it, but I told my therapist about it in today's session.
One of the things we have been working on is getting me from sad to happy. She said that I should think about this as one of my happiness triggers. It may be one of the few really enjoyable things that I allow myself, and not to deny myself the opportunity to do it again.
Best wishes
MsVal
