I don't know how widespread the acronym is - LATs - Living Apart Together - but it seems to me that this is a possible answer for those us with spouses/SOs who are uncomfortable with our alter egos but who don't feel that divorce is right/affordable/necessary.
I have a very good friend (another t-girl) who is in exactly this situation and it seems to work admirably...ok, they were never married and maybe that contributes to the success of the arrangement. Following my friend's acrimonious divorce (which revolved around the crossdressing issue) he/she embarked on a relationship with a lovely younger lady, living together, had a child who is now rising 7, and everything seemed good; then she left. They remained good friends and talked lots because of the little boy. More recently they have got much closer - each has a house and they spend lots of time with each other, often sharing a bed. They often come together to our "girls" group meetings and my friend's partner is comfortable with the whole crossdressing thing. My friend spends a lot of time in femme mode but hasn't presented to the little boy in full femme mode yet - that is still a bone of contention between the two of them.
But fundamentally it seems to me to be a good way forward...I don't really want the expense, the stress, the angst, the finality of a divorce - there is still enough between us that we get along well for most of the time - but an extra degree of separation might make all the difference. I could be Michelle whenever I wished at home, we could spend as much or as little time with each other as we wanted. The extra Michelle time at home might make it easier to accept the restrictions of my younger daughter who is very uncomfortable with M and doesn't want her daughters to know about her. It would also relieve the wardrobe space issue!!!!! We would still be able to do lots of things together but without either party feeling oppressed or restricted by the other...
Has anyone got experience of this as a mode of living?
Michelle
xxx