It dawned on me yesterday as I left the house to pick up a few items that my new normal is quickly becoming second nature and without a second thought.
The background. Back in September after a long summer; forced drab only, I made a conscience decision to transition significantly in my personal life including work from a presentation perspective by virtue of the fact that I have the luxury of working almost entirely from home.
I needed a few simple staples; you know Bread, Milk, etc. from the grocery. It was the end of the day for work. I was wearing a Jean Skirt, Black Hose, nice Blouse, and the usual underwear staples. Knowing what I needed and knowing I had some free time before other commitments I popped into the bathroom. Splashed on a bit of blush, eyeliner/mascara, lipstick, put on my boots added a scarf for a splash of color, and my jacket. Off I went to the car.
While sitting there warming up the car it came to me… wow I’m just going about my life as the woman I’ve always believed I am.
I’ve reached a point of day to day comfort that is even surprising me. I feel better about myself with a new found energy. But I’m realizing I need to be careful and increasingly mindful as there remain aspects of my life where I’m not in a position to transition as yet. So this new somewhat carefree feeling and comfort does come with a price and hopefully as I progress it will become more appropriate and time to washout these aspects of my life as well.
Getting to this point did not come easy. I’ve spent far too many years hidden. I’ve allowed my mind and associate apprehensions to get the best of me. I guess for all of us on a transition path we hit a turning point where the need to transition and the associated pull towards womanhood outweighs the mental barriers and apprehensions.
Passing is important and I do my best to accentuate as many of the feminine queues as possible to offset that which screams male physique but I’m not letting this be a barrier nor am I concerned about being “spotted” or “outed” . Oh and I so do appreciate the Ma’am’s that come as I go about the day.
Transition is not easy but getting past your own mental barriers is a big step.
One step at a time.
Cheers… Jennifer