My New Normal is becoming Normal

[Jennifer-GWN]

It dawned on me yesterday as I left the house to pick up a few items that my new normal is quickly becoming second nature and without a second thought.

The background. Back in September after a long summer; forced drab only, I made a conscience decision to transition significantly in my personal life including work from a presentation perspective by virtue of the fact that I have the luxury of working almost entirely from home.

I needed a few simple staples; you know Bread, Milk, etc. from the grocery. It was the end of the day for work. I was wearing a Jean Skirt, Black Hose, nice Blouse, and the usual underwear staples. Knowing what I needed and knowing I had some free time before other commitments I popped into the bathroom. Splashed on a bit of blush, eyeliner/mascara, lipstick, put on my boots added a scarf for a splash of color, and my jacket. Off I went to the car.

While sitting there warming up the car it came to me… wow I’m just going about my life as the woman I’ve always believed I am.

I’ve reached a point of day to day comfort that is even surprising me. I feel better about myself with a new found energy. But I’m realizing I need to be careful and increasingly mindful as there remain aspects of my life where I’m not in a position to transition as yet. So this new somewhat carefree feeling and comfort does come with a price and hopefully as I progress it will become more appropriate and time to washout these aspects of my life as well.

Getting to this point did not come easy. I’ve spent far too many years hidden. I’ve allowed my mind and associate apprehensions to get the best of me. I guess for all of us on a transition path we hit a turning point where the need to transition and the associated pull towards womanhood outweighs the mental barriers and apprehensions.

Passing is important and I do my best to accentuate as many of the feminine queues as possible to offset that which screams male physique but I’m not letting this be a barrier nor am I concerned about being “spotted” or “outed” . Oh and I so do appreciate the Ma’am’s that come as I go about the day.

Transition is not easy but getting past your own mental barriers is a big step.

One step at a time.

Cheers… Jennifer

[Jorja]

That is exactly how it is supposed to be. The newness wears off and it just is. I have said many times here this is a mental game. We are usually our own worst enemy. If this is the life you want or need to lead, then own it and move on.

[Rachel Smith]

I am at about 1 1/2 years into transition. There are days when it all seems so normal then there are days when I still get that feeling of euphoria from being so normal. It all just feels right. I now have a genuine feeling of I'm OK, your OK instead of your OK, I'm not OK. For the first time in my life I feel like I am a part of it instead of watching a movie from the outside. I'm ALIVE!!!!

[kimdl93]

Jorja is right, the best end result is to feel normal being the person you wish to be in even the most mundane activities.

[Angela Campbell]

The thing is after so many years of feeling abnormal it is so strange to feel normal for a while. Eventually you don't even notice it anymore.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

It's a very big deal when your transitioned life becomes not a big deal.

[Jennifer-GWN]

I'm in a good place right now and content... This is not to imply that everything is blue sky and unicorns as life never goes quite that way. I keep thinking about Jenniferathome's graph and wonder if I'm headed for the "tough of despair" around the corner. I guess that will be my next mental barrier along the path - paranoia.

Thanks Girls... Cheers... Jennifer

[Jorja]

Correct me if I am wrong but Jenniferathome is not and has not transitioned. How would she know what might be just around the corner? Yes, there are going to be good days and there will be bad days. When isn't life like that? You seem to be doing ok and are moving along nicely. Take it one day at a time, one problem at a time and you are going to be just fine.

[Eringirl]

Good for you!!!

For me, it took a while to realize that I had settled into "the normal" phase after many years of abnormal. I mean I did look in the mirror and say, this is me, normal me, but I did have a realization one day that I was doing things without thinking about it, just reflex, like getting my hair from underneath my coat collar, smoothing the back of my skirt or dress before sitting down, etc. I get ma'am all the time, and converse with people when I am out and about, and that just feels natural to me. So I go about my life, doing everyday things, errands, groceries, etc and that is all I want...to just go about my normal life, being normal me. Working on doing that more as I move along...

Erin

[PretzelGirl]

I feel maybe different in that aspect. I look forward to the day that it just "is". Until then I am soaking in the experience. I am treasuring the warmth of friendship. So I am not looking forward so much as just taking it in day by day and it will get there on its own.

And to Jorja's point, I have two major issues right now that could easily be life stressors. But things are only stressful over time to the level you let them be. Focusing on the positive things keeps life in balance and allows you to enjoy the good things.

[Suzanne F]

It does feel nice to have daily routines preparing to face the world as a woman. I look up and I have forgotten to be on guard or sometimes I just smile to myself as I interact with the world as a woman. I didn't see the graph you referred too but it seems like this experience is a little different for all of us. There is no way I could have predicted where my life would be today!
Suzanne