Hi ladies, I'm off to see a therapist soon because I've been feeling very low and stressed at times. No doubt there will be plenty of questions regarding my personal life ext.
Do you think I should tell him about my CDing?
Hi ladies, I'm off to see a therapist soon because I've been feeling very low and stressed at times. No doubt there will be plenty of questions regarding my personal life ext.
Do you think I should tell him about my CDing?
If you're feeling low, and stressed because of gender identity / presentation it's probably a good thing to bring up to your therapist.
They're generally pretty hard to shock.
Only if you feel the need to my friend.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Absolutely , confiding in a professional therapist & digesting their suggestions will relieve your depression & stress!! You need to confront your pains. Much peace, mel
You won't be confessing your dressing you will be just stating the facts, along with any other problems you may have.
If you withhold information it may confuse the issue and they may not be able to help you.
You are not going to be laughed at or pilloried at the stake, you will receive help based on what you tell the therapist.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Dani,
I don't see you have a choice, you're expecting the therapist to work in the dark otherwise !
Besides what are you ashamed of, Cding is part of you, it's never going away, the therapy will help you to live with it besides it could be your underlined problem of stress !
Thanks for all the replays so fast, I'm seeing him in a couple days.
Well that seems a unanimous yes. You have made my mind up, I will tell him, thanks all
This is just my opinion, as I do not give medical advise. One option is to test the water first. By that I mean, seek the professional help you need and see if you improve. Ask him/her how long will it take to see improvements, and if they don't show up, ask if this (cding) could add or take away from the mix ?
The very best to you, as I have been in your shoes.
I would put all your cards on the table, otherwise it is like they are trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle with pieces missing. If it is identified as a major contributing factor, they should be able to refer you to a therapist that specialized or at the very least has experience/training in working with TG clients if they are not able to help themselves.
Erin
Seize the day. Life is short, and you're dead a long time...just sayin' ...
Eringirl made an important point. First look up the website of the therapist. Read carefully what he mentions as his specialties. Look for mentions of gender problems, gay and straight and so forth. If they are not mentioned--assume no expertise in that area. Compare with other therapists in your town.
Tilt your head; look at his books titles as you talk--if nothing about gender--no so good. If he wants to cure you--shop around.
Last edited by JenniferR771; 11-20-2014 at 02:50 PM.
Great advice so far and I think that you have your answer. I was thinking about this analogy that makes sense to me. Would you take your car in for a wheel balance and only have them do only 3 of the 4 wheels? Yes, you may correct an out of balance problem if one or more of the 3 wheels balanced caused that problem. However, what if the unbalanced wheel was the problem? Common sense tells us to balance all four. Since you are paying for the therapy service, you can reveal whatever you want, but you will probably not get the full value of what you paid for because you would have limited the source of information the therapist had to work with.
I was once seeing a therapist for severe depression brought on by events unrelated to cross dressing, or so I thought. I told her everything about me and we were able to have some good and helpful sessions.
If you regard a therapist as a "doctor" think of this. Would you go to a doctor for treatment and withold information and expect a good diagnosis?
That said, find out if the therapist has any expertise in the area of transgender etc. If he starts to talk like Dr. Phil, head for the exit.
Last edited by CONSUELO; 11-20-2014 at 03:32 PM. Reason: left out a thought
Danielle,
So, you've resolved to tell him. That's good. I just want to say, as some others have suggested, don't feel you have to stick with this therapist if you go and find you don't like him. I myself took a while to find a really good therapist for me. Many of them, in my experience, have their pet beliefs and treatments. One lady tried to convince me that I could cure my ADHD by changing my diet. The next guy didn't seem to want to let go of the idea that I had an autism spectrum disorder (a.k.a. Aspberger's) - his area of expertise - which would have been fine except it just isn't true - plus he was just really condencending. I finally found my current therapist and have stuck with her for a while now. So feel free to shop around.
Last edited by Melanie Z; 11-20-2014 at 04:00 PM.
YES YOU MUST!!!!! FOR WHAT ITS WORTH, YOU ARE GOING TO GET HELP, HOW CAN YOU GET THE HELP WITHOUT BEING HONEST??????
Molly
"To thine own self be true"
I'm of the opinion that you need to be open and honest with a therapist if you want to get something out of the experience. Way back when, I tried to hold back on my gender issues out of embarrassment. It didn't work. She knew I was hiding something and after three sessions of evasions, I finally broke down and admitted my 'awful' secret. Her reaction resonates with me to this day...'it's not a crime, you know!'
What a relief to just be able to talk without fear of judgement...even to receive encouragement to explore something I had so long hidden.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Well, yeah! Therapists will listen without being judgmental and help find the source of your stress. Ask about Acceptance Commitment Therapy. It's like Buddhism without the yellow and maroon robes.
If u don't feel comfortable talking about this with your therapist? U have the wrong one. They r not as likely to help u if u r not completely upfront with them.
Switch therapists until u find one u r comfortable with!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
the first therapist I went to wasn't really making any progress for me and so I put an end to it. I procrastinated for a while and then got a referral to another one and since the initial phone call, I've felt completely comfortable with this new one and have been laying all my cards on the table. If I didn't want to talk about things, I can sit at home and not talk about the issues.
Facing our issues is hard but not facing them and letting them fester away is harder and more detrimental to you long term
Mel
Hi Dani,
I am with the "do tell" crowd as you need to be upfront with your therapist for therapy to work. Now this does not mean CDing is a root cause of your stress but it at least allows the therapist to explore that area. In addition, if it is and he/she is not experienced in TG issues, then she/he will be able to refer you to the appropriate therapist. Good luck.
Hugs
Isha
Bluntly, If you don't raise the issue, you are wasting your time! Your therapist (and I say this with MY therapist's hat on) cannot help you without all the information that might be pertinent to your condition! Good luck!
Oh and by the way, try not to see it as confessing - almost as if it was a sin - but discussing!
Last edited by Amanda M; 11-21-2014 at 05:08 AM.
If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got!
I saw a therapist several years ago, the issue had nothing to do with dressing or my marriage (it was work that was bothering me). When I told my therapist he said that there was nothing wrong with wearing women's clothes, lot of men do it. He asked me if my wife knew about it. I said yes, she even buys me things. He said if your wife knows and there are no issues with it at home then don't worry about it. We then moved on to the next subject.
Connie
My doctor referred me to a therapist last year and I told him everything, including my crossdressing, but unfortunately he couldn't really talk about that as he was more a CBT therapist and practiced mindfulness and stuff like that. He wasn't shocked and was sympathetic, so I reckon yes, talk to yours about it.
If you don't trust your therapist with the information, you need to find one you can trust.
Add me to the long list of do tell posts. If you get an odd look or a uneasy feeling after telling him, find someone new if you wish to include your cding in your therapy. I wasted so much money teaching therapist about my gender issues until I found ones truly that knew about it. Although you may not see a relation to CDing and how you feel he may be able to help you determine if there is or is not a reationship. I know for me when I need to stifle my femme side my mood is affected and not in a good way.
Many therapist will claim to understand and have training but not all do! Good luck and please don't look at telling him about your dressing as a confession. We confess to doing things that are WRONG! Cding is not wrong it is just widely misunderstood!
I would tell the therapist everything on your mind.
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