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Thread: Owning it

  1. #1
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Owning it

    So when you are out and about en femme do you "own" the situation and make it work for you or are you always concerned if you "pass', "blend" or "fit in"? Personally I own it whenever I go out and make it mine.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  2. #2
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    The few times i have been out, in nine years, i pretty much owned it, though sometimes part of me, disowned it.

  3. #3
    Silver Member justmetoo's Avatar
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    I don't know if I would say I "own" it. On the other hand, I'm not concerned if I "pass" or "blend". Mostly I just feel like me and go about my business.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    I own it, own it, own it. I don't pass or blend.

  5. #5
    New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kate Simmons View Post
    So when you are out and about en femme do you "own" the situation and make it work for you or are you always concerned if you "pass', "blend" or "fit in"? Personally I own it whenever I go out and make it mine.
    I do my best to pass, but I tend to go to the same places where people see me enough that they get the picture. I have to say that here in Hong Kong, most places, the people are really fine and even though they know, they either don't care, keep it to themselves, or actively think I'm interesting. Not a bad place to live.

  6. #6
    Silver Member Rogina B's Avatar
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    I am 'unforgettable" in a good way. Out in the mainstream daily,I enjoy my "status"..I see no harm in it. Just tonight I was at a Melissa Etheridge concert with the out,loud and proud crowd and the bartender had my double margarita ready as soon as I took the line![And hadn't seen me since MCC two weeks prior] Great to be remembered and it often saves time! I will never pass,but I am presentable, blend well, and never flinch so I am accepted as a transwoman. I can't do better than that.
    Last edited by Rogina B; 11-21-2014 at 11:54 PM.
    It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !

  7. #7
    Banned Read only
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    I'm still getting to know the woman inside so I'm still pretty reserved. I did go out one night though with a couple GG friends and after some liquid encouragement didn't give a crap who thought what and a guy actually came on to me! I took it as a genuine compliment to be honest but sure was nice to have a wing man. ...errr.... girl in this case!

  8. #8
    Silver Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    I own it and I don't try to pass so i don't care about that, I just go out and be myself. If you're gonna go out in public wearing womens clothes you better own it. Confidence is key, you can't go out and be a mouse, you have to be a lion or the predators will see you as easy prey.

  9. #9
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    I own it proudly, with no problems.

  10. #10
    Platinum Member
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    I have grown more relaxed if not more confident in my appearance. I measure success by how I'm treated because that's what really counts. If I'm treated courteously, then it's a good day. And all of my days have been good.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  11. #11
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    I don't believe I have all of the necessary resources to really pass. When I go out I enjoy the getting away with it aspect. I'm always aware of my surroundings and that my presentation is usually slightly left of normal. But I own it. I once approached a slack jawed gawker with confirmed eye contact and said, "Come on. You have to agree. This jean skirt I'm wearing is way more comfortable than those pants you have on. Right?"

    Yeah, I own it although I don't completely pass.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  12. #12
    Emerging Diva Nikki A.'s Avatar
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    I don't care if I pass, but I do try to blend in. That said if being comfortable and not being concerned with being out with the "muggles" then I can say that I own it.
    I accept who I am, really don't care what you think of me as long as you treat me with courtesy (although I do love complements).

  13. #13
    Reality Check
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    I attempt to pass and since I'm not actually a woman, I can't "own it". I try to enjoy myself but at the same time I don't feel comfortable close to people and wouldn't sit in a restaurant, enter into conversations with people, etc.

    In other words, I can't walk around shouting "Hey folks, I'm a crossdresser, what are you going to do about it?"

  14. #14
    Member Crystal Beth's Avatar
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    I own the situation. I believe that attitude is everything. If you are fun and confident people will be drawn to that and see past anything. It all boils down to interaction if you really think about it. I am not a GG and I know that as do others but that does not mean that I and people around me cannot have fun. My experience going out is limited to clubs and there is no way I am getting all dolled up to be a wallflower.

  15. #15
    Gone to live my life
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    Hey Kate,

    To be honest it is the only way I can survive out in the Vanilla world. I do not pass whatsoever and as I tend to have to get up close and personal with others when doing my business, the only way is to own the moment. Do people know I am TG, a cross dresser or whatever term they wish to apply? You bet. Do I care? Nope. I just go about my business as I have a right to do.

    Hugs

    Isha

  16. #16
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    No, I don't. And, never will. Since I can't pass at midnite on a moonless nite in a black out, I'm continually aware and worried how vanillas will react on seeing a man in a dress.

    On the other hand? I was told just last nite by a GG friend that Sherry seems to really enjoy herself out. Maybe one day she'll comfortable out.

    Until then? I'm perfectly content to be a CD!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  17. #17
    happy to be her Sarah Doepner's Avatar
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    It usually takes a while after I leave whatever safe place I'm in before I'm comfortable and the butterflies disperse. I don't know if I "own it", but there are times when I just forget that I'm presenting cross gender. I look forward to those moments when I suddenly realize that I need to choose the ladies room rather than the mens or I have someone address me with a female pronoun. That moment may take me out of the comfort zone, but it also gives me a chance to celebrate what I've managed to accomplish.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.

  18. #18
    Senior Member Eringirl's Avatar
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    I own it for sure. I blend, no problem, and sometimes pass. I own my space, go with confidence and enjoy going about my business.

    Erin
    Seize the day. Life is short, and you're dead a long time...just sayin' ...

  19. #19
    Aspiring Member Richelle's Avatar
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    Like most here I "own" it. I wear what I want and either "blend" or "pass" no not care what others think. Just so long as I am just treated as any other person.

    Richelle

  20. #20
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    After you have been out and about for a while, inhibitions and self consciousness disappear you learn to be outgoing and say thank you to just about any criticism that comes along. There is nothing more disarming than a thank you accompanied by a nice smile and a plausible explanation as to why you appear like you are.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  21. #21
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    I own it when I'm out. I have a perfect right to be there, passing or not passing. People are always polite, and if they weren't, I would immediately become indignant. I almost always get called "ma'am." As long as people treat me like a lady, passing is not an issue. If course, I make it a point not to go to dangerous places.

  22. #22
    Member brandi.tgurl's Avatar
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    i always strive to own it. i mean, that's the whole point of being out in public anyway. i feel like part of the illusion is lost if you're acting confused, or concerned about who you "are."
    when in doubt, smile

  23. #23
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Evidently I picked up a new detractor with this thread. Oh well. can't win 'em all, right?
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  24. #24
    I'm wishing to be her SANDRA MICHELLE's Avatar
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    I own it always!!! I am pretty good from about a mile and a half and any thing inside that distance gives me away. I do it for myself and don't sweat the small stuff from anyone that don't like it. Oh and by the way Kate, I just love you're avatar.
    I want to be this girl!

  25. #25
    Aspiring Member Joanne108's Avatar
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    I own it!

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