This happened while shopping in drab

[Michelle 78]

Hello all,

I don't know what to make of myself with this one, I was out doing a bit of Christmas shopping in a very large shopping mall near me with my mother (she knows about Michelle, but doesn't want to see me, that's a story for another thread which I will post!) and we were in a women's shoe store as I am buying a pair of boots for my mother for Xmas and she wanted to pick some for herself and try them on. I noticed an older guy around 60 I would say, bald head, and he was dressed in cycling gear, nothing out of the ordinary, but what caught my eye was he was wearing women's boots.

He then sat down in the middle of the women's shoe department and tried on another pair of boots and walked around the shop looking in the mirrors to see how they looked. I didn't know how to feel about this to be honest, a bit awkward maybe? a bit envious? I've only just accepted Michelle as part of me over the last 6 months or so after 24 years of denial and I'm still in the closet apart from my mother so maybe that's why I felt that way? not sure. I do admire his courage because I am not brave enough to do that myself.

Maybe it's because he was in drab apart from the boots and it just didn't look right, but the one thing I did notice is that none of the women shopping there gave him a second glance! maybe times are changing? I hope so. What it did do was give me a confidence boost! as we went on from there and I bought myself a new cardigan and a few tops and a scarf and didn't feel half as awkward about shopping for myself in the women's clothing section even talking to the sales assistant at the checkout without blushing or having that feeling of guilt, stupid I know. Another small step I guess, what do you girls think and how would you have felt?

Kind regards

Michelle x

[Jackie7]

I've done that very thing myself, many times. I think most people are so preoccupied with their own stuff that they would not notice a manly man trying on female boots or heels, and if they did notice, they wouldn't consider it remarkable.

Many years ago, long before I had even considered the possibility of buying girl clothes for myself or going out en femme, my mother was confined to a wheelchair in a nursing home. I shopped for all of her clothes for her, brought them to her to review, exchanged what didn't fit or that she didn't like. It never occurred to me that I might be singled out by other shoppers or sales clerks in any way.

In the same way that other people are preoccupied by their own stuff, so are we as crossdressers, I think. A man in drab in the lingerie department? Surely everyone is staring, surely everyone reads The Secret. Well, nope. People don't see, and if they do see, they don't care. And as for the sales clerks, well, is your dollar green?

[Crystal Beth]

My first time being outed while shopping was at a shoe store. I needed shoes for male me and Crystal. The sales associate knew the heels were for me and she was very helpful. That gave me the confidence boost I needed and went out to other stores and spent about 300 bucks on make up and clothes. I had no more fear of checkout lines or dressing rooms and nobody gave me a second glance.

[CONSUELO]

Most people are too involved in their own shopping agendas to notice. Also, my experience with SA's has always been positive. Just treat them courteously and be willing to spend time chatting with them. I'm sure that what they do not like are people who are rude and boorish and demanding. Politeness always pays.

[Majella St Gerard]

most people don't care what you try on and buy, people will look because it is out of the ordinary to see a man trying on womens shoes, but other than that nothing is said, in my experience. I usually present as a femm man when out shopping.

[Isabella Ross]

My first real experience of SA acceptance was in a Payless store while on vacation. I wandered through the store, hoping that I could get away with glancing at the size 13s ladies, which sometimes fit me, without being noticed. I spotted a low heeled pump and had this inkling it was going to fit...so I gathered my courage, sat down, took off one man shoe, slipped on the pump...just as the SA walked around the corner. She was younger, in her 20s. I expected the worst. She just smiled and asked how they fit. I replied that, in fact, they did well. And I took the shoe, put if back in the box, and followed her to the cash register, where we made some small talk as I paid. Still remember that like it was yesterday...a great experience.

[MichelleDevon]

OK, this is reverse story, as it were, and one which gave my wife a good laugh.

We don't often go out together when I am in Michelle mode but last Easter we went out on Good Friday, visiting what we call in the UK an outlet centre (high street designer shops last year's lines, end of lines, remaindered items, that sort of thing). We browsed around and didn;t find an awful lot of interest until we were in a Jack Wills store...there we found a nice t-shirt for Stephen and an excellent fleece top - no problem with those, no need to try on but then herself found some reduced price men's shoes in my size - a black suede pair and a navy blue leather pair. Well, you can't buy shoes without trying them on can you so there I am in the middle of the shop in my skirt and stockinged legs trying on this clumping big men's shoes...

I have to say that I did get some funny looks! But my wife thought it was a hoot as she watched me parade in these shoes to see how they felt. In the end I bought both pairs and the t-shirt and the fleece and poor Michelle got nothing And a few people certainly got some entertainment from me - who cares? Not me. I got the bargain as well as having a day out as Michelle - a win-win situation I should say.

******

And today, home alone again, I have been down to my local little rural English town and popped into the dress agency - bit better than a charity or thrift shop - got talking to the woman running the shop and I tried on 3 different dresses and got her advice on each (and of her female friend who also happened to be in the shop). In the end I didn't buy any of them but it was comfortable to be able to talk about what was right and what wasn't right...she was very honest in her opinion, commenting on the problem of sleeveless dresses with our more muscular shoulders, commenting on my boobs which I needed to adjust for a better fit in one of the dresses!!!! and on the type of underwear - went in wearing jeans but tummy was a bit too obvious in a figure hugging dress - you need cosmetic undies she said. Yes, I agreed, I usually go for all-in-one shapewear if I am wearing that sort of dress. She's taken my number and will keep an eye open... A good fun visit.

Michelle
xxx

Michelle
xxx

[Crystal Beth]

My first real experience of SA acceptance was in a Payless store while on vacation. I wandered through the store, hoping that I could get away with glancing at the size 13s ladies, which sometimes fit me, without being noticed. I spotted a low heeled pump and had this inkling it was going to fit...so I gathered my courage, sat down, took off one man shoe, slipped on the pump...just as the SA walked around the corner. She was younger, in her 20s. I expected the worst. She just smiled and asked how they fit. I replied that, in fact, they did well. And I took the shoe, put if back in the box, and followed her to the cash register, where we made some small talk as I paid. Still remember that like it was yesterday...a great experience.

My shoe experience was at Payless too!

[Stephanie47]

My experiences with Payless have also been positive. I think, since the store carries large sizes (11,12,13) there must be some training when hiring SA's. Also, younger women in most liberal areas of the country have seen it all and are more accepting of gays, lesbians and transgendered men and women. My most unwelcoming experience in buying woman's lingerie, actually a Velrose slip, was at the Catherine's in Tukwila, WA. The staff was older. When I entered the store attired as a man in casual attire; not like a unwashed slob, you'd think Khan and his hordes were there to sweep up the women. I suppose since I was of the stature of their female shoppers anything I intended to purchase was for me. Big deal! I bought one black and one white Velrose slip, which I love. No help! No nothing! Years prior in the same area I was looking for a floor length nightgown. I was traveling in a suit and tie. I stopped at a store which is now closed that catered to tall women. The SA actually had the doors locked and apparently she would not open for cross dressers. She let me in, but, alas, there were no floor length nightgowns. Sigh!

[Michelle 78]

Thanks for the reply's girls

I have been outed once by a SA, I was in a store called Next here in the UK. I was buying myself a summer dress and a sweater, she was in her 20's, as I handed her the sweater she said "You'll need this soon as the weather is getting colder" I thought the ground would swallow me up, I uttered "Yes she will it is getting colder" she must have thought who's he trying to kid!

It was when I just started buying myself clothes for Michelle, I'm more comfortable now than I was, but I still get that guilty feeling when shopping for Michelle. You girls on here really do inspire confidence though!! Many hugs for that

Great story Michelle, so funny getting funny looks because people think you were a woman trying on Men's clothes!

Hugs

Michelle

[BarbDriscoll]

Many years ago, long before I had even considered the possibility of buying girl clothes for myself or going out en femme, my mother was confined to a wheelchair in a nursing home. I shopped for all of her clothes for her, brought them to her to review, exchanged what didn't fit or that she didn't like. It never occurred to me that I might be singled out by other shoppers or sales clerks in any way.

I did that for my mom for many years. She could only walk short distances and refused to be seen in a wheelchair or with a walker in public. Only got grief once, in a fairly crowded store from a pair of young salesgirls making intentionally loud comments to each other about the guy perusing the nightgowns. With the full force of truth, and just as loudly, I told them exactly why I was there and asked them to come over and assist me. I think I managed to embarrass them. I was certainly trying to.

Had I been shopping for me I probably would have tried to ignore them.

[AllieSF]

I think that this is a great example of how by doing something that one is uncomfortable doing gets easier and less uncomfortable to the point of being comfortable the more times that one does it. Congratulations on you eye opening moment, and may you have many more.

[Robin414]

I was shopping in drab at the local tall girl shop a couple weeks ago and the sa was very helpful indeed although I did have a list of the items I wanted with sizes in hand. I had purchased a few items online a week or two prior so my name was attached to my phone number which I provided for this transaction. The sa asked if I'd like the receipt in the bag or if I'd like it in hand, I said in the bag was fine and she walked around from behind the counter and politely handed me the purchase with a smile. Got home and the following day I checked the receipt in the bag and noticed she intentionally entered Miss in front of my name, wow what an amazing feeling of acceptance!

[Adriana Moretti]

It's the holiday season.....go nuts.....nobody is going to care or bat an eye. And the register people will be exausted, overworked, under paid and annoyed with one thing on their mind ( going home). Have a blast...if it makes you feel better ask for a gift box and gift recipt....

[Beverley Sims]

My "great boots"needed an upgrade, leaky and down at heel.
What better than Ross in San Francisco, in drab, looked for a suitable boot and no stares from anyone.
I have since been to Seattle, again. returned to Chicago and back there again, New Orleans three times and I still get "nice boots" when dressed in drab.
Most think they are motorcycle boots and I tell them they are for "hunting rattlesnakes in the Arizona Dessert."
Sounds as good as saying they are "Alligator proof" when in NOLA.
Make the story fit the area you are in.
In other words, wear a pair of women's flat heeled boots in drab and if you are young and single you may pick up chicks into the bargain.

[Chari]

All great adventure stories, and as others have stated if your $ are green and legal, any store will be more than happy to take those $! You should always be comfortable and confident in whatever you choose to wear (or try on). Enjoy.

[Michelle 78]

You are right Adriana, this is the season to hit the shops for femme items, even in drab, most think you are shopping for your wife, girlfriend, sister or mother. My only problem is doing it too much costing me a fortune!!

[donnalee]

It could be that he just had a narrow foot. I have used a masculine style in a feminine shoe (work or running) as a viable workaround. Did get some odd reactions from older salespeople who were certain I was a pervert with an elaborate lie (or at least behaved like it). How feminine were the boots?

[Requal Jo]

I do all my Requal shopping in male mode and have only been outed once. This was also buying shoes, a lovely pair 1" heel sandals. When paying for them, the sales assistant said, "you will look very nice in those" to which I replied, "so will my wife".

[Teresa]

Michelle,
I had the same experience that you describe !
I was shoe shopping in drab and had asked the SA if she minded selling me women's shoes ! She was just zipping me up in a pair of knee high, 4" heeled boots when we became aware of a male shopper staring with his mouth open ! The SA took one look at me and we both began to laugh, she was so kind, I ended buying more than I intended but I don't bother now what people think ! Last time I went most guys ignored me but some lady shoppers were giving me the odd strange look !

[suzanne]

A couple of years ago, I was in a Payless (in drab) just south of the border from where I live. To Canadian retailers: I'm sorry, but I hardly ever find decent women's shoes in size 12W north of the border. So, I found a really cute pair of black patent leather wedges. A young woman in a wheelchair was there, so I asked her how they looked on me. She thought they were cute too. For the next few minutes,we talked shoes and dresses as if we had been friends for years. NO BIG DEAL, as it should be. Sales assistants are even more accepting than that. You are not the only CD most of them have ever seen. You are not the rarity you might think you are. Go have fun.

The only down side was that I left the store without buying the shoes. My logic was that I had already spent enough money that day and I would pick them up some other time. WRONG!!! I never saw them again. Lesson learned. Now, when I find something I love, I grab it now. That sounds like a very expensive impulse buying habit, but on the other hand, I've gotten pickier and don't automatically love everthing I try on

[Charona]

I was in a Payless a couple of years ago buying a pair of heels. My reason, which I told the SA, was that I had been watching and laughing at a group of high-school girls who were having trouble with heels, and it then occurred to me that it might not be completely fair to laugh at them when I probably couldn't do any better. So I bought a pair of heels, with my wife's sort-of blessing, to learn how to walk in them. I got to talking with the SA about men buying women's shoes. She commented on some of her known cross-dressers' choices in very high stilettos. She also told me she had a regular male customer who bought womens running and walking shoes because he could not find the combination of width and length he needed in mens shoes. I admit to leaving the new shoes in their box, because my next planned visit was to a motorcycle shop where I am known.

[Jilmac]

I did the same thing recently at Target, Women's shoe dept. Tried on a cute pair of boots and a pair of sneakers. The other women there didn't offer a sideways glance, but just went about their own shoe shopping. The boots and sneakers fit perfectly and I bought both pairs.

[Tina_gm]

I did not dress up as a woman for Halloween. (grim reaper) but hey, he has black fingernails, lips and needs some eyeliner.... smeared for effect. So, off I went into the cosmetic departments looking for this stuff. Granted, it is around Halloween time, and all black is probably not quite the same as normal colors, but I did notice that my browsing presence in the cosmetics departments drew basically no attention from other women who were browsing them.

[ReineD]

but the one thing I did notice is that none of the women shopping there gave him a second glance! maybe times are changing? I hope so.

We've become varied enough in our population and with exposure to all sorts of media to not pay too much attention to what we consider are other people's quirks. A thought may flash through their minds that a man trying on women's boots might be a bit odd, but I don't think most people would immediately think of crossdressing, since all the visual cues were pointing to a male. They might just inwardly shrug their shoulders with a "Whatever!" attitude.

So if you ever do gain enough courage to try women's things on in stores, be assured that reactions won't be more severe than a raised eyebrow and the raised eyebrow will be imperceptible. It has been my experience while out with my SO that the vast majority of people keep their opinions to themselves.