update, thoughts, question

[nadia]

hello everyone!

i think this is my second post here, the first one a few months ago was about maybe telling my SO

well, i did it!! yes i was shaking and yes it was hard, she was not happy but she accepts it, i told her i do it since i am a kid...she thought i was gay.. it is really the first thing they think, if i can give advise, is dont tell her when you are feeling en femme, you will just sound more feminine therefore more gay (in their eyes) and also stand up for your feelings, it is feeling that you have, you should not feel guilty about those feeling and try to suppress them.

nothing really changed... i can only dress 1 time in about 2 months... lol its really long to wait sometimes...i wish i could sleep en femme, with sexy panties and tank top oh well maybe 1 day...

i am jalous of the women, there is nothing i can do about it, i am jalous because they can dress in really nice and sexy clothes..and be really beautiful and sexy...i am jalous when i see a beautiful sexy woman, i am frustrated that i can not dress like her, and walk like her in high hells to go work or for errands... i hate this world where there such a border between man and woman lol

i would LOVE to go shopping for woman cloth one day i am jalous of that too... lol

there is all kind of CD, me, what i do is i drink a little bit because i am not fully comfortable with myself en femme, then i dress ULTRA sexy feminine, and i listen to music and i dance and i also LOVE to walk with high heels i can spend hour walking in circle in my house walking with highheels hahaha

then the question: i am looking for a specific thread, and i cant find it, maybe you can help me, it is the one talking about not feeling dressing like a girl after the orgasm, it was talking about how our brain was wired as a CD

Nadia

[Beverley Sims]

Nadia,
It can be a slow process getting acceptance and one day it will happen to you too.
The thread about satisfaction and not wanting to dress is all too common occurrence and is quite natural.
There have been many threads about the phenomenon over the years.
Someone will bring it up again.
What you are doing is fantasising with yourself and this is a good outlet for you as well.

[Dana3]

For some although not all, dressing begins in adolescence and at the height of the hormonal rush of puberty, and thus become sexual, oftentimes becoming IMHO a substitute if you would for the availability of an outlet with a partner, there in by becoming imprinted into our sexual psych.

This combined with a multitude of other contributing factors ~ some innate, and others external contributes to like snowflakes, any all cross dressers being the same ~ yet distinctly and individually different per our own unique and individual life experiences. There's a wife and broad spectrum with many, many, contributing factors and twists and turns.

Myself I have always been "drawn" toward women, femininity and all that entails. I believe the strict and rigid social, cultural, and even religious conditioning toward binary gender conformity actually does more harm than go as it sets up a strict binary standard insist others conform to based upon one's gentiles regardless of the mental, emotional, psychological, physical, and indeed sexual needs of the any particular individual.

Given time, and with self actualization, validation, acceptance the "need" to cease or to rid yourself of dressing will subside to the level in which, it will no longer be a compulsion to do so, nor a means to an end in and of its self. That is to say, that you will not dress for sex and sex to dress. Not something that easily obtainable over night, but is a progression. Some if not many become "Stuck" at this level, when in actuality what is needed is to accept and "Express' the feminine anima of one's self and achieve a balance and harmony of such.

The sexual expression aspect of such is just a small and singular expression of such, which if not understood can lead to any number of sexual fantasies which could potentially to damaging consequences to the individual and ~ or a couple if not channeled properly. In and as a general rule fantasies are just that, and are best left in the realm of such. Just because one has a falsity doesn't mean one should act upon it.

Cross dressing in and of itself is harmless. It is in doing so responsibility in fulfilling one's obligations to others, and keeping and maintaining balance which is the problem and which necessitates negotiation.

But this would be true of ANY couple in which a Hobby, interest, etc. detracts one's attention from the other person AND the focus on the relationship. There is much discussion on here about getting in touch with and expressing one's feminine self, with that said, the first priority in doing so isn't with adoring oneself with the EXTERNAL trappings of femininity, but in getting in touch with the internal aspects traditionally associated with femininity ~ the prioritization, maintenance, perpetuation, nurturing, caring, maintaining of relationships and the unconditional acceptance of the other's flaws, and shortcomings.