Is She Flirting With Me

[Dee Baker]

I have been a fairly regular shopper at the Leggs Hanes Bali Playtex outlet nearby for many years and the store manager has always been helpful whenever I shop there, she also knows what I purchase is for me. I was shopping there this past Saturday (in drab, as usual) and she seemed especially helpful and friendly.

Was she just being helpful and trying to make the sale or is it possible she may have an interest in me?
What do you think?

They didn’t have the Bali Full-Cut-Fit Brief Style #23272 in my size so she offered to order them for me, she made sure I got the discount and free shipping but we did have to order by phone so she dialed the number and gave her store number and item number before handing the phone to me to complete the order.

When I finished placing the order she asked if they gave me the total price, she said it should be less than $20.00 with the discount and if I didn’t get the discount that I could “call her” and she would apply it, (her number on the hand written receipt she gave me).

As I was preparing to leave, thanking her for her wonderful assistance (as always), and saying goodbye I made eye contact with her and there seemed to be something there… just the look in her eyes…

I really like Anna and she is very friendly.

I got home later and checked e-mail and there was an order confirmation for the panties, then there was a second e-mail stating that the order had been canceled, so I guess I’ll go back to the store in a week or so to see if they have my size in stock.

So now the conundrum, when I go back would it be appropriate for me to ask her to dinner?

She didn’t have a wedding ring on her finger but its certainly possible she may have a boyfriend. As sweet as she is I would be surprised if she didn’t have a boyfriend.

Help please, what to do?

[Rhian]

From what you have said she does seem to fond of you if she's going out of her way to make sure you get the discount and gave her your number. I'd probably try texting her and see what she responds like, that should give you a better idea of if her interest in you is purely professional or more personal and if it's the former at least you'll find out then rather than potentially creating an awkward moment when you next visit the store. Then if you start texting you should be able to tell if she sees you as "one of the girls" or in sexual way, if it's the later then go for it and ask her out. Women are single for a whole host of reasons and you shouldn't let an opportunity slip because she may not be single, if everyone thought like that no attractive people would be in relationships.

[Dee Baker]

Thanks Rhian,

You make sense when you say "Women are single for a whole host of reasons and you shouldn't let an opportunity slip because she may not be single".

Dee

[chelyann]

i say ask , BUT remember it could wrong and you lose a good friend / sales person.
let it ride and when she asks about your order maybe jokingly say how lunch for being so helpful ( like good friends ) and see what she says, and if she hesitates drop it and dont try to change how things are....

[AllieSF]

It would probably be better to ask her out for coffee after work. Dinner is a lot more formal, so to speak, and meeting for coffee is much more casual and informal, i.e. low obligation. If you haven't done it in the past, try getting into a conversation with her about her, where she is from, why did she move, kids, single, whatever based on how the conversation develops. Good luck.

[Dee Baker]

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the replies. You are all so very helpful.

Dee

[Beverley Sims]

I say no, just keep the friendly relationship going a little longer.
I speak to a lot of SA's and we have interesting and colourful conversations but it is not personal.
Most like to be sociable but find it creepy if the conversation gets to "really" hitting on them.

I have also talked to store displays and the plastic revolving M&M guy in NY. but I didn't get far with them.

[justmetoo]

I'm clueless when it comes to these things, so I just assume it's just the person being helpful or generally friendly o whatever and not any sort of flirting or "come on". Probably another reason I'm perpetually single. ha

best wishes!

[Andy66]

Wonder why your order was cancelled? Maybe you should call or text her and ask.

[MissTee]

I like the, ". . . can I buy you a coffee for being so nice to me for so long," idea. It's a low key approach, and it gives you a chance to talk more outside the store to see if there's anything there. Accepting partners are rare. Don't miss a chance to potentially snag one.

[Teresa]

Dee,
I felt the same feelings with the SA in the shoe shop ! She was so kind and helpful and even teased a little ! I nearly went back with some flowers and an intention to ask her to go for a coffee ! It took me a couple of weeks to get her out of my mind until I put on the shoes she teased me about , and then the thought of her comes back !!

[Marcelle]

Hi Dee . . . nothing ventured, nothing gained. I would go with Allie's suggestion for a coffee and see where it develops from there. If she just wants to be friends you should be able to figure that out in a couple of coffee dates. If there is more then dinner would be appropriate.

Hugs

Isha

[mechamoose]

My take is that she at least 'sees you' and 'gets you', which is awesome.

If you really want to know if there is more there, ask if she would like to to a club or to dinner sometime?

If she gives an excuse, then you know she is 'just' a supporter (sister?).

If she accepts, then I hope you have a great time!

- MM

[kimdl93]

Of course, don't read too much into it, but it's also a free country and if you are attracted to someone and they seem available, then feel free to ask. Make it a small request this...for coffee or whatever. And if she says no, don't let yourself feel too disappointed.

[Promethea]

She may just be making sure a long time customer remains a customer.

Any discount that she gave you, you already paid for it several times in all these years.

[Andrea Chenowith]

I think a combination approach may be worth a shot. Like Andy said, give her a shout and ask if she knows why your order was cancelled, and if that conversation goes well, parlay it into an offer of coffee. That way it stays low-key and limited pressure and doesn't risk the loss of a great shopping outlet.

[Eringirl]

I agree, you need to find out why the order was cancelled, but offer to take her for coffee as a way of saying thank you and see where it goes.

Good luck and keep us posted!!

Erin

[Jackie7]

Well if she is the manager of a Hanes-Bali store you can bet you are not the first crossdresser she has seen. So at the professional level her move will be to make you comfortable so you keep on coming back to buy more stuff. All same waiters in white tablecloth restaurants - they know a grateful tip when they see it coming in the door. So you gotta be ready for that.

On the other hand, if she is a GG with an interest in CD men (yes such women do exist), where better to find them than when they are looking for help in a Hanes store? Slip them your number in a totally safe and explainable way and see what happens?

Bottom line? Shelve your expectations and politely invite her to coffee as a thank-you for being so helpful. She might say sure, she might say no she is too busy at the store, either way you've enjoyed another interaction with her without embarrassing either one of you.

[Renee]

I agree with Jackie and the others. Contact her (in person, text, or by phone) and ask why the order was cancelled. Then ask her out for coffee as a thank you for her help and trouble. You never know what will come of it, but one thing is certain, you wont know until you ask.

[CONSUELO]

First, find out why the order has been cancelled. Does that mean she has ordered them for the store?
Next go slowly. Thank her profusely for all the extra help next time you are there. See how she responds. Something along the lines of "You have been so very helpful, may I buy you a cup of coffee to thank you?" It has to be neutral so that if you have read the situation wrongly, there is a face-saving escape route.

[Nadine Spirit]

You can ask out anyone you want. Nothing wrong with asking a question. I like Allie's approach with coffee. Dinner is too formal. Coffee is much more friendly and can give you an opportunity to get to know her better.

[Isabella Ross]

Coffee sounds like a good approach. For me, I think I would let things ride for a few more visits, and each time try to tease out a little information about her. She might be happy in a relationship, she might be oblivious to the fact that most TG are not gay. I think what I would do is get to the point where I could point blank ask her about her thoughts about TG people and CDs. That would give you a good indication of how to proceed. However, having said all this, my views could be outdated...I've been happily married for more than two decades.

[suzanne]

From what you have said, it sounds like she didn't do anything for you she wouldn't have done for any other customer. I think she was just doing her job, and very well, too. She is giving you great treatment because she knoiws the difference between making a sale and making a long-term customer. I think you should keep your relationship strictly professional unless she makes more obvious advances towards you.

At my favorite store, all the SA's go above and beyond equally for all their customers, not just me. Many of them insist on hugging me and some tell me they love me. I take that to mean in a "close friends" kind of way, not romantically. I'm told there is a company policy that forbids staff seeing customers socially and I have never even been given anyone's last name, nor have I asked. I expect that your store operates the same way.

[Majella St Gerard]

ask her out for coffee or lunch, go for it.

[firsttimedresser]

Dee i would ask her why it was canceled and then ask her out perhaps she canceled it to see you again

Izzy