Just go out, who cares, although I think I'm quite shapely I'm 6'5" barefoot so to say I stand out lol, I've gone out to the shops regularly, admittedly I dont often make a purchase but I've got away with it most times, I had a few odd looks and a couple of curious teens giggling but apart from that nobody gave a damn, it's not easy to make the move so don't let anyone tell you different but once your out the pink fog takes over as well as the adrenaline, go for it and enjoy.
Hi Laura, when I look at your posted photograph, you appear to be very "blendable." By that I mean most would not give you a second look if you dressed appropriately. I can tell you that I have never had a negative experience going out dressed. On this past Thursday, I went to a small playhouse that is CD friendly. I had a drink before the performance; no issues. After the performance I went to a shopping area, tried on shoes at Payless, shopped at Target, then went to a club that features female impersonators. After the performance was over I stopped at a fast food place on the way home. All of the staff of these various places were curteous, friendly, and generally acceptable of me. When I was at the theater, I even told the person sitting next to me that I am a crossdresser. I always smile and I think I give off a friendly attitude.
Love, Sabrina
I fully understand. I have never even ventured outside and my heart pounds like an 80s hair band kick drum just thinking about it. I know we should not care, but only my SO knows and I'm not sure about ever being ready for the world to know.
You on the other hand, I just viewed a slew of your pictures and I don't think you should worry. Very natural looking and if you get a second look it may be for other reasons.
Maybe we should do a girls shopping trip or night out- I'm in Massachusetts and could use a night out .
Last edited by JocelynJames; 12-20-2014 at 04:10 PM.
If you only knew the power of the pink fog! ~Joss
Hi Laura,
I had a similar experience as far as going out. I went to support group meetings and tg events. Then 2 of my best buds invited me to go to the mall and I thought I would be fine. I was terrified as well but it went off without a hitch. I could hear a smatter of snickers when we walked by some groups of kids, but besides that it went awesome! You'll do fine and just don't let it get into your head too much, you're very passable by your pic.
Lol, I just read you already went out and you did great. Good for you girl!
Hi Laura,
I too completely understand where you are coming from and truly appreciate the fears you are having. There was an earlier reply to your post that talked about the "me generation". That is so true. I am becoming more and more convinced that most people are so wrapped up in themselves, which leads to them not having the time or energy to care about anything or anyone else. It is quite sad actually. I continue to push my comfort zone just a little bit more each time including my first "real" experience out recently. Without getting into all the details I will simply say that an older lady friend, who totally supports me, and I went for a walk around a small town square a few weeks ago. It was at night but the square was lit up for Christmas. A few people were out including two women, who are the owners of a hair salon, were closing down for the evening. They simply asked, "how are you gals this evening?". My friend answered politely and all was well. It felt incredibly good! The feeling of walking in heels, with an appropriate outfit (skirt, top, pantyhose, and over-coat) was just wonderful.
We made a few more stops that evening including a look around inside a Dollar General store. At no point did anyone say a thing to me. I am not sure if there were "double-takes" but honestly, I don't think so. People really don't care. Furthermore, I think society needs women like us to bring back the feminine appeal. So many women these days dress so sloppy. For us, we strive to look our best. At least men appreciate it...hopefully.
Good luck with your ventures!
Emily
I am happy for you! I am still far away from the point of being able to go out and shop... I am glad you had a good time!
Hey Laura . . . YAY!!!!! I am so glad you got out and had a good time. Careful though . . . the Vanilla world can be quite addictive once you have been out there "en femme".
Hugs
Isha
The thing about Fear is that it will always be with us in some shape or form. The question is, however, whether it remains in our faces or we can relegate it to the background. If we can keep it in the background, it will still function as a mechanism to keep us safe and prevent us from doing silly things while allowing the freedom to challenge ourselves.
The late Audre Lorde said:
"When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision,
then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid."
Mainstream experiences. I have had a few.
. GOOD. Got rear ended by a guy on his way to work at SFO. Looked every bit the part of an aircraft mechanic. No damage to either car. After the formalities he seemed very curious and interested in where I was going, a club, and seemed borderline to go there too. I was not interested in him (straight with girlfriend), but seemed please with myself that I could leave a good image of us with this type of person.
. OK. I locked my car keys in my car. I had to call a tow truck. I was expecting a bearded rough houser with tattoos. I got an older Asian gentleman who insisted on calling me by my boy name (on my AAA) card) over and over again.
. ANNOYING. Went to the Nordstroms mall in San Francisco. They have these kiosks by the escalators. One of the girls at one of these kept callling me over rudely to try their product. I know the made me.
. GREAT. Met some ladies from this site. Had drinks and dinner in San Francisco in main stream places. Great time.
Really Happy for you bet It scary at first I know I was I got a little better as time went on but nervous the couple of hours I was out. I'm certainly not as Attractive as you are. Good luck with future plans.
Yes you are scared the first time out but you're going with someone who been there and done it. All of us who went out the first time were scared. But it gets easier every time you go and again. I still get goose bumps if I hadn't been out for months but after I'm out everything just falls in place.
GLENDA
I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN
just to echo what most have said: you'll be fine.
You have a very natural look. If someone does "clock" you, so what? I go shopping at mainstream stores. I've been addresses as sir, but for the most part most people smile at me (or maybe they're laughing at me). You'll find that most people won't pay attention to you unless you want them to.
If you're too nervous about going in full transformation, you can always go out in ladies jeans, some ladies loafers or sneakers or flat boots and an androgynous t-shirt. I usually do this and undersdress with pantyhose. if I know I'm going dress shopping I bring a pair of heels in a bag.
Have fun with it, that's what you're supposed to do
Thanks again everyone for your encouragement. As I posted earlier, it did go well. I'm working on setting up my next one!
CongratsOriginally Posted by Ms. Laura
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If you are looking to go out mainstream then shoe shopping is the best way to do it. I have gone dressed enfemme shoe shopping at least 50 times and have nothing to show for it except maybe 100 pairs of shoes, LOL!!! If you look like your picture then you have nothing to worry about, you look great. Go and have fun shopping!
I want to be this girl!
The first time I went out in public was in the late 70's. Over the years I have gone to numerous places. A couple of times I rode the LIRR into Penn Station in NYC and took the subway to plays and music shows. Ate in different restaurants and met some very interesting people. Did I pass every time? Of course not. I have had gotten stares, funny looks and knowing smiles. Did I have a good time? I sure did. Last March I went to the Keystone convention in PA. There was over 400 TGs there. As the song goes " Don't sit alone on the shelf, Come to the Cabaret"
Laura I have gone to DSW several times and have bought shoes there, I am also a size 11. Last time I went I wore bootcut girl jeans, panties, garter belt, black stockings, bra with small forms and fem top. I was in guy appearance yet nobody gave me a second look, they were all locked into looking for their own shoes. I went directly to the back of the store where they have the marked down shoes, tried on a pair of 4" heels and heeled boots, put them on both feet and walked up and down the aisles, stopped and looked in the mirrows. Was aware that women were around me and they ignored me. It was a great feeling slipping my foot with hose on in the shoes and walking in heels in public around women, what a turn on!!!! When buying them at the counter, no problem. Wish you were close so we could shop together.
go out with confidence take note of other women as we ACT like women all is GOODthey just tell me i look CUTE complement my outfits.. ITS A GREAT FEELING
well always be addressed AS SIR..,(SOME OF US) ITS OUR voices but for the most part.......,SO WHAT...? this person likes womens clothes....but i do wish people had COMMON SENSE....were presenting FEMALE
Last edited by jsunic_1978; 01-01-2015 at 02:06 PM.
and its also a good idea to go out IN GUY APPERANCE to get more confident.... usually im in boot cut as well and a hoodie womens nikies
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