I'm taking the first step...

[Joan.Meredith]

Well, I've been thinking about it and thinking about it. I can't take it any more. Tonight I'm buying at least one pair of panties, I'll see if my wife notices the charge on the credit card. Being it is Christmas time maybe not, I'm willing to take the risk at this point. She knows that I've been having a hard time holding it in lately, and that I've comes to grips with the fact that it isn't going away.

I've also talked with the nice people from Orchard Corset in Baltimore today, and I'm leaving a bit early from work tomorrow to get measured. If I buy will depend on my mood and the cost. If I do buy I'll be a huge flag to my wife, so I'm going to have to think hard on it.

And I'm as calm as I've been inside in a long time just typing this out. I guess acceptance really does make a HUGE difference.

Joan

[Teresa]

Joan,
If you're concerned about your wife seeing your card transactions why don't you do what I do and pay cash ! Just draw out cash on your card ! You may get further discounts by offering cash !

[Erica Marie]

Using a credit card is like asking to be caught. Cash goes a long way without being caught. Unless if this is your way of letting her know?

[Annaliese]

Meredith I went back and read your other post, I think it time for a talk with your wife, be up front with her, that this is part of who you are,and it not going away. This is who you are, and you need to do something or you going to go nuts, depression, sad, all the think that go with not being your self, tell her it not a chose, it who you are. You are asking to get caught using you card. Both ways she going to find out. Hold it in and go crazy or tell her, it sound like you want it out in the open anyway. So do things to hide it, or tell her. Getting measured for a corset, and then buying it with a card, $10 for panties is one thing, $100's for a corset, could not hid that. You want it out, you need to decide what way you want her to find out.

[Jennifer_Ph]

Cash is king. So is honesty.

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

It sounds like she knows about your desire to crossdress already so just buy some things and tell her you bought yourself a Christmas present. Just make sure you buy her something also. I find that when I am up front and honest with my wife she goes along with just about everything, when I hide things from her that is when there is hell to pay.

[Sometimes Steffi]

We get hit by fraudulent charges every once in a while. I shop at Home Depot. Hint, hint.

My wife questions every charge. the MO is to charge a small item, see it it gets noticed, then to go large.

I just had a 30 cent fraudulent charge bounced by Visa. as soon s I confirmed that it was fradulent, the bank cancelled my card, and I had a new one with a new number in 2 days.

So ,cash, or caught.

[Marcelle]

Hi Joan,

I get from your previous posts that your wife knows about your inclinations but is not supportive. I have to agree that going out and buying a corset on the sly is kind of like a "shot across the bow" and will most likely not go well. As your wife already knows, I might suggest that you arrange to talk to her explain what it is you want and what you get out of dressing. There may be room for limited support or none at all (DADT relationship). In any event you will know where you stand and can move forward from there. As well, I note that you have children (I believe) perhaps wait until after the holidays just in case this goes bad . . . there is nothing to be gained from adding angst to their holidays and I am sure you can probably hold out for a few more weeks.

Hugs

Isha

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I don't think this is about the card- unless you have a phobia about handling dollar bills.

This is about you taking first steps down a new path. I think Joan has already decided to get the corset. It's 'John' that's fretting about where this is leading.

It's scary to think about the implications for your marriage.

[Joan.Meredith]

I don't think this is about the card- unless you have a phobia about handling dollar bills.

This is about you taking first steps down a new path. I think Joan has already decided to get the corset. It's 'John' that's fretting about where this is leading.

It's scary to think about the implications for your marriage.

Nikki,

Correct it really isn't about the card, point is I took money out of the ATM last night and bought some items on sale at Target last night. The sales lady at the register I think she was joking, said "Oh, you'll look great in these." It was hard to tell if I blushed or not, maybe it was the way I walked up to the register. I almost said, "Yeah, I know."

So took the steps, and do I feel different. Eh, a bit one thing is for sure it's not sexual for me. (no uncontrollable reactions below the waist) I'm actually under-dressed today. And I feel peaceful, I'm curious though Nikki. How'd you figure out my male name? I don't think I've mentioned it any where on here. I'm ok with it, just curious.

As for the corset, I'm sitting on the fence today. I might go get measured I'm not sure...

Below are stock pictures of the items I bought last night. All for $15 and some change. Colors, Black, Grey, Navy Blue

Joan

[Jenniferathome]

... She knows that I've been having a hard time holding it in lately, and that I've comes to grips with the fact that it isn't going away.

..

Joan, if your wife knows already, it is far better to tell her you'll be making some small purchases to help calm you. These times will be sitting your drawers anyway. Hiding things is a red flag.

[Sandra]

Well you going and buying stuff behind her back is not going to get any support from her in the future....Instead it might have been better to talk to her and discuss that you were going to buy some things but no you just did it behind her back.

[Joan.Meredith]

I actually tired wording something like this to her this morning, it didn't work. The answer I got was "what does the Bible say" and "text your counselor" . Which means there is no way she is going to be willing to let me buy anything.

I'm so low right now.

Joan

[Jenniferathome]

Joan, the bible says nothing about buying underwear. Of that, I am certain.

By by the way, do text your counselor. When he/she says it's not a problem, let your wife know that all is well.

[JayeLefaye]

[QUOTE=Joan
answer I got was "what does the Bible say"....

Joan[/QUOTE]

Hi Joan,

Firstly: folks have already given excellent advice!

Secondly: please feel free to PM me as far as the Bible question goes. 40 years of devout Faith and CDing has given me a fairly extensive understanding of both... Not that it doesn't mean I can't be totally wrong:-)

Thirdly:last week, I bought myself the same pair as the first photo you posted. Now I have to go back and buy as many different colors of those exact pairs because my wife tried them on and fell in love... And yes, I'm a Blessed dudette!!

Jaye

[Christina Alice]

I actually tired wording something like this to her this morning, it didn't work. The answer I got was "what does the Bible say" and "text your counselor" . Which means there is no way she is going to be willing to let me buy anything.

I'm so low right now.

Joan

OK so the first attempt didn't work. Try again and try to think of it through her eyes before you go marching in. She has a fella she loves and has probably never been gay so she needs to understand that the clothes you wear won't affect the way you love her and you aren't about to become a girl (much as you might want to) and this is only a small step. If you can get her to accept the principle of you wearing the one garment, it will surely allow you to increment it later. Talking doesn't always provide answers but not talking never does.

[Lori Kurtz]

Sounds like you're struggling with your desire to assert yourself by openly buying femme stuff regardless of your wife's feelings, and your desire not to have conflict with your wife. So you're thinking about going halfway--using a credit card to create a paper trail that she might or might not discover.

My advice: Don't leave it to chance. Make an intentional decision, and act accordingly. Either:
a. Buy what you want and tell her that you're doing it--and be prepared for the ensuing conflict; or
b. Avoid the conflict by quietly paying cash.

[Beverley Sims]

All I can say the personal euphoria you have does not seem to be share by your wife.
You do need to share it with her as well and get some positive input.

[stacycoral]

Joan just pay with cash, and you will not hav eto worry if your SO see the receipt. hugs.

[LelaK]

In case no one has mentioned it yet, you can wear a lot of unisex things to help adapt.

[Joan.Meredith]

Struggling isn't a strong enough word Lori. As for the purchases that I did make last week, I paid cash. Also I didn't go to get measured for the corset, I was too low. I almost did something very stupid though, I stopped myself but it was close.

How does one buy unisex? I've yet to see underwear labeled as unisex. I know jeans are close, take the tags and size marking off. I'd love to find a dress shirt that looks almost like a males, but its female. I've seen some online but none in the stores, maybe I'm looking in the wrong places. Any ideas with that one.

Joan

[VAWyman]

My heart goes out to you, Joan. I'm in the same situation with regard to the Bible. I love the Lord, and I love the Bible. My wife is convinced that EVERY problem we've ever had is a direct result of my crossdressing. As for buying clothing, cash is the way to go.

[larry]

If that is you in the picture then you have no problems. Hehe could not resist.