Near perfection isn't an impossible goal. Is it? I don't beat myself up for having my ideals. I'd be more likely to beat myself up if I let go of my ideals.I think a lot of us set ourselves impossibly high targets, and then beat ourselves up for not reaching them.
T-shirt says: "Hi, I Crossdress!"
I feel like that probably 80% of the time I put on make up. It's a learning curve though and I'll keep practicing until I get it right, or I find someone who will help. I'd love to find a salon that is CD friendly, but I wouldn't know where to begin here in Japan. I give you full credit for being brave enough to go out period. I'm still a long way away from that...
I'm 59, 6ft 3, and 230lb. OK, I could lose some more weight, but I am physically incapable of making myself shorter or younger. So yes, for me (and many others here) conventional "perfection" is an impossible goal -- just as it is for many GGs.Originally Posted by LelaK
My target has to be lower than my ideal, otherwise I'd never stand a chance of hitting it. So I aim to pass as a normal middle aged woman, rather than as a thirty-something yummy mummy.
Sometimes, believe it or not, I achieve that target. Most of the time I think I blend -- that is certainly what my SO tells me when we've been out together. But l'm a human being, so I make mistakes, and I live in the real world where it is sometimes cold/rainy/windy, so if my make-up is smudged, my wig is tangled, or my voice breaks occasionally, that's just life -- just as it is for GGs.
Worrying about things that can't be changed is counterproductive... and kept me closeted and misertable for far too long!
Mikell - I went through the same thing awhile back. I agree with a lot of girls here that we can be our own worst critics and I think we have an image of the perfect woman inside of us. Our mind has this picture of a perfect girl and when we see ourselves it can be far from perfect. I dressed the other day, and looked in the mirror and thought, damn you look great Stacy, took some photos. When I took a look at the pictures later, I realized for the first time, wow Stacy is a good looking woman. It was the first time I did not say you need to work on this or that and need to improve your makeup or something else. I actually loved the woman in those photos.I do not have 20 something skin and could lose some weight, but for 44, I think Stacy looks great, wrinkles and all.
two long slow deep breaths--- first answer to almost everything.
This is why we call it "makeup"- it's just changing the you that is there- it take a lot of practice. And if you go by the still photos in magazines- you need to realize these are still shots of models who spend their livelihoods trying to look "good".
IMO half of them fail.
Start with a smile, and work on the face from there-- a little powder foundation, make the eyes more interested looking- alert- bright. a little highlight of the lips
I have not done makeup in months- yet i'm still buying... it may also come and go in stages- i think a lot of it is frame of mind.
but i'm serious about the smile- think of the fact that despite all that has happened, you are male, etc etc. you get to try to look female for a change- that's a fun thing, right? Don't worry about the final result yet, just think about a few effective changes you can make. do them and think about it- find the happiness that you can make a difference. that's the smile and expression that will make you look the best.
And no one can take that from you- you made a difference in the direction you wanted. You cannot change everything - but you can move in the direction you want- use that to find some measure of enjoyment and build on that.
I think of my 95 year old neighbor- sweet lady- strong, active- she looks best w/o makeup because her real person comes out. When she is workign on something- figuring out the dish network setup- her mind is active and sharp- her features reflect it- looks a lot more 'beautiful' than any makeup she puts on.
So maybe try contouring rather than covering- show the energy of the person who get sh=uch a kick out of being able to dress up and add a few touches.
Hope this helps, i have to reset myself sometimes too...
I used to like to keep score when playing ping-pong. I guess at that time I was approaching my best form. Later I preferred just to fool around while playing the game. Didn't feel like bothering to keep score. Liked to try a lot of different things. Left-handed. Put the paddle down spin around and pick it up again before hitting the ball. Hit the ball with the handles instead of the paddles.
Maybe beauty can be a game too. Sometimes you can try to approach your top form. Other times you can fool around and just have fun. I don't know if there's an ideal for having fun. Or an ideal for being creative or original.
T-shirt says: "Hi, I Crossdress!"
I think this is an important part some CD's slip up on......my foundation stops at the lower cheecks....and its concealer the rest of the way up my face till under my eye which is then an even LIGHTER concealer ......no reason for foundation anywhere near your eyes at all.
Isha's giving away all the secrets......but seriously whenever I mention that to girls the lightbulb goes on.....
Mikell,
I'm all in with Melanie B. I'm happy with a 50 something look which I can usually pull off (I'm 68). But you are your own worst critic as are we all. Do your best and I'm guessing either no one will know, or no one will care that you are not dressing as your birth gender. In my case, I'm happy if no one cares. At 6' 5" in heels I don't expect to pass completely. I go with minimal makeup - powder, eyes and lipstick. So far, no problems.
Hugs,
DeeDee
Mikell, of course! I try different techniques from time to time and once in awhile the result is less than flattering. Learn from it :-)
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