In the closed and my wife's best friend almost hit me while dressed

[Nicolesmyth]

OMG! My neighbor finally left and so I jumped in my truck about 5 minutes later. I was sitting at the end of our street and was pulling out onto our other neighborhood street. I looked right and thought I saw my yard man driving down the street. So, in fear I turned left. I didn't really look good and turned right in front of my wife's best friend. (our boys are best friends too)! I had sun glasses on but I know she knows my truck. Man this is not good. Any advice?
Nicole

[Lorileah]

two choices...hope it goes away or own it before hand. Personally I like being the one in control but...

[Annaliese]

I take it your wife does not know. Be prepared for the talk, it happen to me, my only wish is, that I would have open up fully and let it all out at that time. Just open up to her.

[Jaylyn]

Well let's see you could tell her a strange woman jump into your truck and stole it and the Houston police recovered it a few blocks from your house abandoned....or you could just act like nothing happened and tell the neighbor that one of your friends from work sent his wife over to borrow your truck to move a couch, heck even tell her you were under so much stress at work that you snapped and started taking drugs..... My suggestion is don't say a thing unless you are very sure that the wife's friend is going to say something to her. Also it could be that she really didn't recognize you and I'm sure in Houston there's more than one truck like yours. Just look at her all puzzled and say I don't know what she is talking about my truck has been here in the drive all day. Shake your head and go about your business. You might if your wife you feel would excepting sit her down after a nice meal out and a romantic night tell her that you have this secret that is deep inside you that you can't explain but you love wearing women's clothing and blame your mom, or when stressed it makes you feel good and relaxed. Tell her you love her and need her help in this. Don't make her feel rejected or your not happy just openly tell her it's been bottled up so long that every now and then you have to let Nicole out.

[allie45]

Don't make yourself sick worrying about it.
Like Jaylyn says, there are probably trucks like yours everywhere. Also, what are the odds she got a good look inside at you.
Be calm, and have an alibi ready for the off chance you need one and make it simple, like you just weren't there this morning. Don't act any different than normal.
Someone asks you who was driving your truck today, just say "me!" no explanation required.

[kimdl93]

What is the background? Does your wife know?

My feeling is that if you are even occasionally going out, daylight or after dark, it's a good idea to at least be out to your spouse. Sooner or later, just like your encounter with your wife's BFF, you're going to have a chance encounter with someone you know. Better that is not the way you come out to your wife.

[Jenniferathome]

Nicole, all you have to consider is if your wife's asks you about this. "Janet said she saw some woman driving your truck." What will you do then?

Frankly, I seriously doubt it will come up. You wife's friend doesn't care about your truck. Probably didn't even register.

[Nicolesmyth]

Nicole, all you have to consider is if your wife's asks you about this. "Janet said she saw some woman driving your truck." What will you do then?

Frankly, I seriously doubt it will come up. You wife's friend doesn't care about your truck. Probably didn't even register.

The problem here is I live on a dead end street and when I turned the corner we passed each other on a residential street. No other truck like mine on the block and we were with in 10 feet of each other. I hope the sunglasses where enough to throw her.

[Nicolesmyth]

I like that Jaylyn- If her friend asks me then I'll go with a friend from work needed it to move a couch. If my wife asks then I might come clean...

[Nicolesmyth]

What is the background? Does your wife know?

My feeling is that if you are even occasionally going out, daylight or after dark, it's a good idea to at least be out to your spouse. Sooner or later, just like your encounter with your wife's BFF, you're going to have a chance encounter with someone you know. Better that is not the way you come out to your wife.

My wife discovered some items long ago threatened divorce unless I quit. I said ok and I in turn stayed in the closet. She's my world and it would be devastating to lose her.

[kimdl93]

The reason I ask is that, as this episode illustrates, that very world may be jeopardized by the duplicity. She long ago made a common and ill informed pronouncement in reaction to a presumably accidental discovery. If not this episode, some other accident may occur. What then? If you're deep enough into this to be going out, you likely are more than an occasional closet dresser and the odds of accidental revelation are not in your favor.

Consider the alternative of a planned, mature, thoughtful and honest sharing of your feelings, needs and hopes. Yes, it may blow up...but isn't that what you fear from this unexpected event?

[Nicolesmyth]

The reason I ask is that, as this episode illustrates, that very world may be jeopardized by the duplicity. She long ago made a common and ill informed pronouncement in reaction to a presumably accidental discovery. If not this episode, some other accident may occur. What then? If you're deep enough into this to be going out, you likely are more than an occasional closet dresser and the odds of accidental revelation are not in your favor.

Consider the alternative of a planned, mature, thoughtful and honest sharing of your feelings, needs and hopes. Yes, it may blow up...but isn't that what you fear from this unexpected event?

I've thought about it often, but haven't mustered the courage and other circumstances would not permit. I know, I know there's probably really never a good time to drop a bomb like this one.

[Diane Douglas]

My wife discovered some items long ago threatened divorce unless I quit. I said ok and I in turn stayed in the closet. She's my world and it would be devastating to lose her.

Oh My Gosh, been there and done that. I tried to come clean with my wife, but she wouldn't hear of it. Then one weekend she went out of town and I went out on the town. I couldn't stand the stress of lying to her, by omission, so I came clean again. We definitely have a DADT relationship about my dressing, but at least it is now in the open.

I wish you a lot of luck if this comes up to your wife from her BFF.

[Beverley Sims]

Happened to me once, thankfully nothing was ever said.
Maybe they didn't notice?

[LelaK]

Get a part in a play as a girl, so you'll have an excuse.

[Krisi]

If you're going to crossdress, there's little chance of hiding it from someone living in your house (your wife in this case). The question is not "if" you will get caught it's "when" you will get caught.

Now if you're getting dressed and walking out to your truck and driving away (and back home) dressed as a woman, your chances of being caught go way up. Way up.

Even if your wife was OK with you dressing as a woman, she would probably not want the neighbors and her friends to know about it.

If you absolutely must dress and go out in public, find a way to leave and come home as a man. Dress in the truck, in a public restroom, whatever you can think of. And clean yourself up and go back to male mode before you come back to your neighborhood.

As for the woman driving your truck, unless it's really unique or has vanity plates, just say it wasn't your truck, it must have been one similar to yours.

[DanaR]

If you're going to crossdress, there's little chance of hiding it from someone living in your house (your wife in this case). The question is not "if" you will get caught it's "when" you will get caught.

Now if you're getting dressed and walking out to your truck and driving away (and back home) dressed as a woman, your chances of being caught go way up. Way up.

Even if your wife was OK with you dressing as a woman, she would probably not want the neighbors and her friends to know about it.

If you absolutely must dress and go out in public, find a way to leave and come home as a man. Dress in the truck, in a public restroom, whatever you can think of. And clean yourself up and go back to male mode before you come back to your neighborhood.

As for the woman driving your truck, unless it's really unique or has vanity plates, just say it wasn't your truck, it must have been one similar to yours.

I don't think that it could be said any better than that.

[Sarah Doepner]

I've thought about it often, but haven't mustered the courage and other circumstances would not permit. I know, I know there's probably really never a good time to drop a bomb like this one.

This is exactly the attitude I had for years and it kept me from sharing it with my wife until I was caught. It took a while before we had "The Talk" and I was fortunate she had done her research and had decided to accept this as being aspects of my personality she actually did love. The bigger problem in the long run was my hiding it from her after I had accepted it as part of myself that wasn't going away and needed to be explored. It inspired distrust and she questioned a lot of things I said or did from that time on. I deserved it and was happy that we were still together.

I don't know your world or how your wife thinks, so I won't make recommendations beyond being totally honest with yourself and her when the time comes to discuss this. Good luck.

[Nicolesmyth]

Even if your wife was OK with you dressing as a woman, she would probably not want the neighbors and her friends to know about it.

If you absolutely must dress and go out in public, find a way to leave and come home as a man. Dress in the truck, in a public restroom, whatever you can think of. And clean yourself up and go back to male mode before you come back to your neighborhood.

Good advice. Thanks krisi

[CONSUELO]

As far as the neighbour is concerned, I would just ignore the threat. What is she going to say and you really don't have to defend yourself.

The most important issue is how to deal with the issue with your wife who seems to dislike your cross dressing. This is something that you will have to confront one day and how and when that day arrives is up to you. It would be good to do some research on a good councillor as an informed and neutral party will be very important.

[Nicolesmyth]

As far as the neighbour is concerned, I would just ignore the threat. What is she going to say and you really don't have to defend yourself.

The most important issue is how to deal with the issue with your wife who seems to dislike your cross dressing. This is something that you will have to confront one day and how and when that day arrives is up to you. It would be good to do some research on a good councillor as an informed and neutral party will be very important.

Yes thank you consuelo for the advice
Nicole