Speechless

[Krisi]

My wife and I were standing in the grocery store checkout line. On the magazine rack is one of the tabloids with a cover story about Bruce jenner becoming a woman. Photos, etc. My wife starts laughing about it and makes a couple comments.

I didn't know what to say. She knows about my dressing, she sees me dressed a couple times a week and she and I shop together for our clothes. Still, I'm embarassed to talk about something like this with her. I have no plans to "become a woman" or even live as a woman but keep my private parts intact.

The best I could do was mumble something about maybe this was just a publicity stunt to get a TV show.

What do others say or do in situations like this?

[Teresa]

Krisi,
I've managed to get over the embarrassment when it crops up on TV and think I would have said that it takes all sorts if my wife made a comment about a magazine article ! I don't think my wife would have commented as she knows about my CDing but then we shouldn't expect our partners to walk on eggshells for us, we are in the firing line like it or not !

[Leslie Langford]

Krisi, presumably you are referring to the cover story of the current issue of the tabloid magazine Star, which is now on the newsstands and a copy of which I picked up last night myself.

It would be interesting to hear what your wife's comments were, because presumably, they would have been in sharp contrast to the tone of the accompanying article itself. It is actually very non-judgemental of Bruce's journey - if not downright supportive - and takes great pains to point out just how supportive his whole clan also is. This includes not just the 3K celebrity-hungry step-daughters he inherited when he married soon-to-be ex-wife Kris, but also his own biological offspring from previous marriages. If anything, the article slams Kris for being a real witch in trying to thwart Bruce's journey in coming to terms with his authentic self because of her controlling nature and own selfish needs, and what a great relief it is for him to finally be rid of this burden.

Incidentally, a very similar cover story in U.S. Weekly last month took pretty much the same approach, and I think that this becoming indicative of of how public perception of the whole topic of crossdressing and transgenderism is shifting to becoming not only more tolerant and accepting, but actually highly sympathetic.

If only many of our own wives would start to see the light in the same way, but I guess it comes down to the old NIMBY syndrome - "Not In My Back Yard"...

[bridget thronton]

I do not worry about media stuff unless it is about me - i do not really identify with any celebrities

[kimdl93]

I suppose you might have responded with, "I resemble that remark."

[Jackie7]

I wouldn't feel awkward about the conversation because of my completely open situation with my wife. But to anyone else, I'd hope to use the opener to explain the difference between a crossdresser who has no plans to transition, versus a trans person with acute dysphoria who is heading for gender reassignment surgery. We' both fall within the general definition of transgendered and we are sisters of a kind, but on very different paths, which most people, even sympathetic people, don't recognize.

I may have a shot at this tonight, we're planning to attend an Xmas party where another guest, a good friend, is a man on the SRS path. I think I look better than she does at this point, but I am not taking hormones nor planning to do so whilst she does, I don't intend to have surgery whilst she can't wait, I wear a good wig whilst she has grown out her very thin hair. It's amusing to me that whereas I describe myself as hetero, she describes herself as a lesbian -- at the moment, we are both genetic and physical men in relationship with GGs.

[Tiffany B.]

I think hearing those awkward laughs is more disturbing for someone that wants to come out..

[Cheryl T]

My wife and I have fun with it since it's "our little secret" so to speak.

We were at a Chinese restaurant a few weeks ago and she started talking about decorating the house. Then she said "tomorrow I'm going to drag you out to Home Depot".
I look at her with a slightly devilish grin and said, "Drag ... me out?" .... She nearly did a spit take with her tea...

We kid like this all the time and don't care who is in ear shot. It's really fun sometimes.

[Krisi]

I didn't read the article, neither did my wife. We don't buy or read that kind of publication. And I haven't been following his story because I really don't care about folks in the entertainment or sports world and their little problems.

My point is, I feel awkward when the subject of crossdressing or transexuals comes up in front of my wife. The Jerry Springer TV show is another example. I think she is a little afraid that I will want to take it farther than just dressing.

Maybe someone here can help me with ways to get over this awkwardness. Maybe not.

[NicoleScott]

Serious conversations about crossdressing can't start with tabloids or Springer shows. Pick a good time and place, and bring it up on your terms. If someone else brings it up in reference to a tabloid story or Springer show, blow it off as people just wanting the spotlight and doing whatever it takes to get it.