Advice to young cross dressers

[LelaK]

Don't Eat the Daisies.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Daisy

[sarahcsc]

Sarah raises a very important point and one that I have thought about frequently. Trying to imagine myself as a 20 year old, would I have taken this advice seriously?

That was what I suspected, that my 20 year old self would have never admitted to anything nor accepted any advice. Although I was scared, I was also proud and stubborn.

Just like a baby who explores the world and then returns to their mother/father when they're weary, I believe this is the same with crossdressing as well.

I needed the freedom to explore without the fear of retribution, and a place to return to when feeling weary. As far as I'm concerned, I was exploring myself clandestinely without a safe haven to return to amidst social pressure to conform which created a huge psychological conflict within.

Furthermore, it is not the advise that matters, it is whom the advise came from. I knew I would have never listened to advise coming from my parents no matter how much/little sense they made, so in essence, I am setting myself up for failure by simply being childish and stubborn.

In the end, I realised the best thing to do for my teenage self, was to simply be a supportive and understanding "friend", that is non-judgmental and do not offer unsolicited advice.

I believe my young self would have arrived at the same conclusion as I did today as long as he had the freedom to do so. And I believe most people would, except that they are too caught up with social duties.

I used to believe there was nothing different about me and that this was a passing fad, then I believed I had a fetish, then I believed I was a crossdresser, but now I'm leaning more towards being a TS.

Nothing stays the same if we had a chance to explore.

Love,
Sarah

[victoria76]

I wish I could have read that years ago! That's some great advice, very true indeed!

[Marcelle]

Hi Consuelo,

Great post. I posted this sentiment some time ago and I think it is apropos for this thread. It was intended to have a bit of fun building on Baz Luhrmann's "Everyone is free to wear sunscreen" with a CD theme.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.

If you are just starting out enjoy the power and beauty of your youth and its ability to allow you the latitude to pass/blend or just enjoy being out. Oh never mind, you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded and you find yourself looking back at photos and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.

Don’t worry about what people think but if you choose to worry, know that worrying is as effective as trying to hide five o'clock shadow without the benefit of a sharp razor, a good beard cover and foundation.

The real troubles in your journey are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind. The kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday when you realize your make-up is failing and you still have to take the bus home from downtown during rush hour.

Do one thing every day that makes you feel good.

Talk in a femme voice and if you still sound like a guy, who cares

Don’t be reckless with your SO's feelings or the feelings of family and friends. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Moisturize it is good for your skin

Don’t waste your time on jealousy of those who make prettier girls or those who get out. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive and forget the insults.

Keep your old dresses because you never know when the might come back in style.

Store .. . don't purge

You may discover yourself at 17 but then again some may not know until they are 47. The important thing is accepting yourself once you get there.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Especially if you plan to wear heels past 40.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, make the most of your life because it is the only one you have.

Enjoy your body, use your strengths to offset your weaknesses. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of your presentation, it is your body to do with as you please.

Dance…even if it is only in the privacy of your basement.

Read the directions on home laser hair removal machines to not do so would be bad.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Accept certain inalienable truths if you decide to go out for nobody truly passes. Some people will laugh others will point and some won't care. Own the moment and act like you belong or you will look out of place. Maintain a healthy sense of caution as it will go a long way in ensuring you can enjoy yourself

Don’t expect everyone to support you. Understand that friends come and go, but hold on to those who can truly accept who you are for they are a precious few.

Don’t get nostalgic for thinning hair that is what wigs are for.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…

Hugs

Isha

[vallerie lacy]

I have to agree with franlee. The first thing I thought of was purging. DON'T DO IT.

[leggspantyhose]

I agree.

["Gabriela"]

Many of the advice here might be more for the "noob" but grown-up CDers (like me!), 'cause it definitely takes to have an open mind about the changes that one goes through, and also self-acceptance takes time to get stronger.

I specially liked the points related to caring the physical part, 'cause it's important, not only for the surface, but it helps to grow in self-esteem.
So do as much exercise, WORKOUT, run, yoga, swimming... as you can. It'll also give you more years to enjoy the different stages of your life!
Sunscreen is a must! If you feel uncomfortable with it, then use a makeup foundation that has a high SPF (40 minimum!)

Thank you so much for all the great advice, girls. We're not freaks, and have the right to be ourselves without fear!

Hugs!
Gabriela.

[Genifer Teal]

My suggestion is to seek counseling. I freaked at the thought of this when I was 18. I have never had any formal counseling. What it can do is help you figure out what this means to you so you can accept it faster and decide how best fit it into your life. You can do this on your own but a therapist can help you figure this out faster. When young, we seem to have all the time in the world ahead of us. As we age, we wonder where it went. You can not regain lost time. Getting to the point sooner will help you save time - time you can never get back otherwise. You never know what your future holds and how these feelings will be a part of that. Having more time to enjoy life and not still be figuring it all out is the best advice I can give. Many wish we could do things differently but this isn't a video game we can just start over.