Hi Billie Jean,
I believe there is someone out there for each of us. I was fortunate to find mine many years before DeeDee came out, but I believe there is someone for you too. Keep an open mind and the dating websites may help too - I've heard good results from other cds. Just be true to yourself, keep looking and companionship will come.
Hugs, DeeDee
Hey Billie Jean
There seem to be many opinions on this subject but here's my take on it as a GG who happens to be crazy in love with a CD.
And it's a simple idea but unfortunately very hard for most of us to attain. Here it is: you must love yourself before you can expect anyone else to love you. I think many times people look for this fulfillment/love we lack in ourselves in relationships with other people. We somehow expect this person to fill the void of the love that we don't feel within our self. Unfortunately the other person can't fill this inner void and a lot of time the relationship ends up failing because of this. I know my BF struggles with this at times because of the guilt he has about CDing but it's getting better and he's learning to accept who he is.....this self acceptance needs to happen first before you can expect or even allow anyone else to accept you. Trust me we had some difficult struggles and times and they all revolved around this he had to learn how to receive and show love, he had to break down walls he had built up to protect himself and when this happened he allowed himself to let love in. Once you can do this the possibilities are endless.
Don't give up on yourself in this area of finding happiness in a relationship just remember the happiness must first begin within you!
Xoxo
Sam
Last edited by NurseSamGG; 12-14-2014 at 09:24 PM. Reason: wrong word used (autocorrect)
Our deepest wishes are the whispers of our authentic selves.....respect them and learn to listen.
Billie, I understand the urges are strong and it's good that you know yourself well enough that you know suppression will be difficult. You're actually being very realistic by seeing the problems this could cause in a future relationship and anyone insisting frequent crossdressing won't cause a problem for anyone but the most accepting GG is not living in the real world. Many women can live with a little, some with more, and less again will actively choose a fulltime crossdresser. But they are out there if you're willing to put yourself out there and sift through the majority to find that rare gem. Though, you don't sound fulltime but more in the mid range group where the urge tends to binge and wane. If you can find a way to turn this into regular yet controlled dressing, I think you might be surprised at the confidence you gain knowing YOU control this, not the other way around. A man at the mercy of his urges is unlikely to put out a confident aura.
Otherwise, I can only suggest getting out there as yourself and enjoying life with the company of people in general. It's not lonely if you get out and about, and having a partner is not essential to a happy life. Good luck x
Last edited by Tinkerbell-GG; 12-14-2014 at 09:25 PM.
I guess it would really depend if you are good on your own or would be better with a complement. Personally, I am complete in myself but it's really nice to find someone to share things with and keep company with.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Billie Jean. It has a way of like dropping a monkey wrench into a motor, doesn't it. And, of course, there are other issues besides dressing, that enter into a relationship. Like a guy i used to work for said, "It ain't easy."
Long story short--were it not for my cd'ing, I wouldn't be with the lady I am currently engaged to.
Jon
I am single and it would be nice to have a partner but i've started thinking and asking myself: what if my partner will be awesome but wont accept my lifestyle... so sometimes, when I meet a girl or a guy I get cold feet and stop trying because I can see their reaction in my head. "Oh nooo... eww, you're weird etc".
Few of my friends who are girls, shop for clothes, panties etc but when I asked them for help, even thou we weren't a couple or anything, I just asked for help, they were uninterdsted and felt weird. Shopping for panties with a guy...
I am not actively avoiding a relationship, but since I'm also not intentionally looking for one, it is as if they are avoiding me.
- Diane
I won't go into my situation now, but one problem that a LOT of us have is that we are so wrapped up in ourselves with our crossdressing that we do not make good partners ourselves because we do not focus enough on our partners and their issues.
Yep. Replace the word crossdressing with any other all-consuming activity and I'd bet you'd find another group of lonely singles and unhappy spouses. I often think it's not the dressing that puts people off, but the mindset behind it.Originally Posted by raleighbelle
And funny, but I have a friend whose H is boat obsessed. I always have to bite my tongue when he talks about 'her' needing him and he has to take 'her' out. My friend hates it and feels like a widow, while I can't help thinking of all the men here who are equally controlled by 'her'. It's not fun competing for attention in a relationship, be it boats or crossdressing.
Last edited by Tinkerbell-GG; 12-15-2014 at 02:49 AM.
I really don't think you should look at it that way.
If you have affection and empathy for each other the relationship should go full term naturally.
Otherwise all you have is a shallow life.
"Wham bang thank you ma'am."
Meaning that you don't want it to last in the first place.
That's not a relationship.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Well, I think the thing most overlook is that they don't need 'most women,' just the right one usually suffices.
The best advice I can give you is to be open, honest, and upfront about this. Yes, you'll get rejected, but some women are OK with CDing. And what do you have to lose by trying? You are alone anyway right now.
Of course if you want to stay closeted, which is understandable, you'll have a harder time of finding someone - because you won't know how they feel.
@Tinkerbell. This isn't an activity comparable to boating. We don't really get to choose how manageable this condition is. Gender dysphoria, which I believe the vast majority of users on this forum suffer from, albeit a minor version of it, really doesn't care about your life, and certainly is uninterested in balance. But I get it - this is all a choice on our parts.
Last edited by PaulaQ; 12-15-2014 at 06:02 AM.
I stand by the balance thing IF you desire the partnership of another person in your life. Few people will last long in a relationship where one party is perpetually preoccupied. Doesn't matter what it is. But in the case of gender conditions, it's so important to figure out who you are so you can finally put it to the background where most people's gender resides (we really never think of this stuff.). Then you can get on with the rest of your life and even have a relationship with another human being who now gets to meet the entire, well balanced, multi-dimensional person. I don't care if you take hormones, dress fulltime, or only on Sundays in June - just find your comfort zone and then quit thinking about it so much!
Rant over
And Paula, you might not agree with it, but you're actually an example of someone who's figured this balance part out and is once again happy and even sharing life with someone else.
Last edited by Tinkerbell-GG; 12-15-2014 at 08:06 AM.
Long term relationships? I would say I avoid people in general! There are other reasons I don't seek out a relationship, but my cding has increased quite a bit since becoming single and living alone. After all of the relationships I've been in throughout my life, I have become so selective that it appears I'm avoiding. I've been up front about my CDing in all of my serious relationships for 35 years now. I've found that women don't like it.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
I wouldn't say that I avoid relationships, as in romantic/intimate relationships. I just generally have never felt the need for one. I guess I'm just not a very loving or needy person, but honestly, I've never really noticed I was missing anything until other people brought it up. It used to bother me. No, it wasn't my not being in a relationship that bothered me; it was that everyone else was bothered by the fact that I wasn't bothered. It became very annoying to be constantly asked why I wasn't dating, settling down, looking for the right woman or man to share my life. I had friends trying to set me up, introduce me and whatnot. I really disliked it. The good part is that nobody's ever come asking me to be in a relationship, so I don't have to worry that I've disappointed anyone. At this point my friends and family get the point that I'm too far gone. I know they worry, but at least they don't share that worry with me.
I totally agree with you, Sam (post #27). Happiness comes from within and it helps to love your self first. Then you can share that with someone else who has found their happiness and self-love. Seems like a recipe for a great relationship.
I can also so identify with Diane's statement (post #33).
Alice, be good to your sister.
T-shirt says: "Hi, I Crossdress!"
Surprisingly enough, I do agree with you, Tink, and I thank you for the kind words. "This above all - to thine own self be true." Really whoever you are, those are words to live by.
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