Hello all,
Hope everyone is having a great holiday season and looking forward to the new year as 2014 draws to a close. It has been a couple months since I have been active on this forum, but as I look back at has happened in my life this past year. I though I might share where I am at I'm life at this point in time. I believe that the last time I created a post or most of my post for that matter where always about the struggle between me and my ex, the divorce, and the battling in court. Its amazing the frame of mind I was in and how emotionally distraught I was. I constantly struggled with accepting myself and going back and fort in what I wanted. While I was really sure about what I wanted, deep down I think, I was not in a place where I didn't know what I wanted. Everyone always recommended that I seek out support and see a therapist who could help me along the way, but I never took the time to seek out the help I needed. Although I did see a gender therapist for a month before my ex cut me off her insurance. Leaving me without insurance for almost half the year.
While I continued to go through an internal battle, I continued to dress, sometimes presenting myself more feminine and sometimes more masculine. Some people took notice and had issues with it, like my ex and others where very supportive of I wanted to be. Still to this day I am battling with my ex in regards to custody (she wants full custody and supervision) because she says I can't be trusted and that I have mental health problems. She does say that she wants me to be a part of my kids life, but she wants to facilitate how that goes. Over all when it comes to the court/divorce things are going pretty well and my attorney has been fighting really hard for me. The courts know that I am transgender, which they don't care, and things have been going in my favor.
The best part of 2014 is that I found a job where both the supervisor and owner of the company are gay and supper me 100%. Also the school that I work at is part of the GLSEN (gay, lesbian, and straight education network. This has made a big impact in helping me to accept myself and realize that I have a strong support network around me. Especially after I officially came out on Oct. 11 on Facebook that I was transgender. Everyone contended me on making this move and still stayed friends. One of friends actually introduced me a FTM, who has become one of my best friends. I have only lost three family members, which is hard and a shame, but that is there choice. I have to remember that they come from an older generation and they are Italian Roman Catholics, so there is not much I can do. I have also impacted my sisters life in such a way that she now is now working in becoming a nurse and wants to works with individuals that are transgender.
With only two weeks to go in 2014, I finally saw an endocrinologist the other day; who has 25 years of experience in working with the transgender community. After meeting with them, they wanted me to get a phycological evaluation (who I will see on Dec. 23rd) as well as get blood work done (which came back normal today). Once Im done with the evaluation and my endocrinologist gets they okay, I will start on hormones. I even went to an electrolysis today for a free consultation and ended up getting my first hour of work done. Which is very exciting, seeing that Im starting 2015 on the right foot.
crossdressing...theirs an app for that 
