Is getting caught by your SO really inevitable?

[Krisi]

I don't think it's a matter of "if' you will be caught it's "when" you will be caught. And it doesn't have to be a wife. Children or parents living in the same house or having their own keys, neighbors with keys, etc.

It's also related to the extent of your dressing. Just throwing on a bra when your wife is at work or out of town is one thing, going all out with forms, makeup, and a wig while someone else is in the house or unaccounted for is something else.

So to answer the question, I got away with it for many years but I was just wearing a bra and water balloon forms and my wife's blouses from the laundry. She went out but came right back home because the tire light on the car came on. Caught me desperately trying to get out of the bra and blouse.

So anyway, now I am free to dress around the house and I have my own stuff. I am one of the lucky ones.

[Alicia S]

If it's not inevitable, it's right next door to it. As others have said there's always the stash, or the chance unexpected return or caller or delivery or tidy up lapse or..... There's just too many routes to discovery to expect to be 100% safe 100% of the time. And it only needs once.

[Jaylyn]

If you are dressing to the full extent of dressing sure one day you will be caught. We as humans get complacent in our activities. It's hard not to. If you are not out to the wife then you will probably leave that tell tale mark of lipstick on or that piece of tissue you removed it with in the trash can. Who knows it's the small details that can catch you. My wife knows and doesn't care as long as it doesn't interfere with who she married. She even helps me with the makeup sometimes and buys Jaylyn a Christmas present. She also has sometimes when she come in from work will say oh I see Jaylyn visited today. Then she'll tell me how she knew. I borrowed her lip liner or mascara or even a top she had hanging and I had hung it up backwards. If you are dressing you are leaving trails about it unaware. I have watched too many detective shows on tv we all leave footprints we are unaware of. Only the single CDs might have a better shot at keeping it hidden but they too will be caught. I say the DADT theory is good but it can lead to so many other underlying resentments and problems later. I'm glad my wife knows and understands. It's easier to do the laundry if we can wash our panties at the same time.

[Leslie Langford]

Abraham Lincoln put it best when he said "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time."

As always, the devil is in the details. Remember the bar scene in "Inglorious Basterds" where the American infiltrators posing as German soldiers are "outed" only because one of them orders the group's drinks by holding up his middle three fingers North-American style, whereas Germans are used to holding up their thumb and first two fingers for the same purpose?

[Maria 60]

I really agree with Jennifer about a women's instinct and detail. I took a chance very early in our marriage and I was lucky she was OK with it and with time and patients it seems to be alright thirty years later. Even though I have my own clothes she doesn't mind if I wear her things, but it is amazing that when I do wear her clothes and don't tell her, she some how knows I wore her things and even will point out to me the exact outfit I wore. My dad used to say "you could keep a secret for as long as you want, but it's like hiding something in the snow, it just a matter of time before the snow melts"

[VAWyman]

Generally, I'd say it is inevitable. For it not to be then you'd have to be a master at deception and is that what anyone really wants in a good relationship?

I agree wholeheartedly. You may not get caught but chances are you will sooner or later. Me? I successfully hid it for 40+ years before I came out to my wife. She started suspecting something at about 38 years and it still took her 3-4 years to flat out ask me. I initially denied, but eventually owned up to my crossdressing.

[Angie G]

I'd say the risk is on the high side over time.Almost got caught a few times once by my mother once by my son and my wife brfore she knew.
Angie

[Staci]

I would think at some point you would be found out. I don't know though as my wife knew before we were married. She helps me pick out clothes. I don't know how I could have hidden it from her.

[Sometimes Steffi]

There's also the possibility that you might be caught and not even know it.

When I was a teenager, I used to "borrow" some of my mom's lingerie. I also used to raid the trash bins during spring cleaning. I was never caught. But thinking back on it, I wonder if my mom knew and just chose not to confront me about it, perhaps, hoping I'd grow out of it. I think she might have assumed gay, not crossdresser.

They seemed exceptionally surprised that I managed to man up to get a date for the senior prom.

[Debb]

I crossdressed for the first twenty years of our life without my wife knowing. I decided to tell not because it's inevitable for all married/attached crossdressers to be caught, but because for me, it was getting to that point. I was getting more risky, and at the same time, I was dealing with major depression ... and finally I decided to tell her.

It hasn't been great, but we are still together after 32 years. I've said in another thread that our relationship is DADT, and that I don't like that, but that's how it is .. but for this part of my life, we share everything else.

[Tina_gm]

Not inevitable, but the amount of time spent and the lying that needs to be told to avoid getting caught most certainly is inevitable.

[DonnaP]

Looks like all agree we will get caught I have come close a few times dropping something and not knowing and get lucky enough t see just before she arrives. This has happened multiple times to me so far. I get really scared I believe my Wife would not handle it well and I would be getting a divorce. God I hope my lucky streak does not go away.