Who are you looking nice for?

[Kate Simmons]

While it may seem natural for many of us(as CDers) to want to look like a woman, you have to sometimes try to look at it from the perspective of "muggles" or so called straight laced people. Why on Earth would a guy want to look like a woman anyway? is he trying to attract another man? These are some thoughts that SO's and others contemplate because they just don't "get it". Personally I want to look nice as it's in my nature to do so. As far back as I can remember I've had a dual nature, both male and female. I tried to suppress the male aspect for a long time but it didn't work.The thinking of my generation was that you had to be one or the other.I finally got in touch will all of my feelings and was no longer afraid or ashamed of them and I have made them my own. Now I enjoy both aspects equally. So, basically I'm looking nice for myself as it's part of my self expression. If others like my looks it's an added bonus I guess. Works for me.

[Melissa in SE Tn]

It's about finding & reveling in that beautiful inner peace.

[Laura28]

I want to look nice for me it gives me pleasure to see a sharp woman looking back in the mirror

[Que-cera-cera girl]

Laura, thats great! You should always do and be whatever makes you happy or feel good about yourself.

[Amy Lynn3]

Kate, I agree with you 100 per cent. It is the same with me. I feel the desire to cd and look pretty is one of the best things to ever happen to me. I love both parts equal and comfortable in either mode. I just love being me, where others may not like the other me, but they can be wrong if they like.

[Amy Fakley]

I do it for Me, I guess.

The only person who ever sees Amy in person, is my wife. Though she's supportive, and tells me I look nice, I know she doesn't really enjoy it (say, the way I really enjoy seeing her all done up in a pretty dress). It's clearly a completely different thing.

So, the experience of "dressing for someone" is truly foreign to me.

I think it would be nice to be adored in that way, but you know ... that's just not really a thing that's likely to ever happen, and true happiness comes from within anyhow :-)

... and I'm rarely happier than when I look in the mirror and see a me that I feel good about!

[sometimes_miss]

For some of us, it's not about looking nice, or looking attractive for a particular person or persons. It's about feeling normal in what we're wearing.
Suppose you're at a formal function; every other guy there is wearing a tux. But you're wearing a bathing suit. Sure, it might be a guys bathing suit, but you're going to feel a little (or a lot) out of place and uncomfortable as the night goes on. That's how I pretty much always feel in when wearing men's clothing. I feel like Im supposed to be wearing something else; female clothing. I feel normal dressed as a girl, not as a guy. As I don't have a lot of mirrors around the house, all the visual feedback I get is seeing what I'm wearing from my own visual perspective.

[SherriePall]

I do it for me. Since, most of the time I am the only one to see me, it's about me. However, on my infrequent trips out of the house, it's for me so that others will see someone who cares about herself enough to look her best for others around her.

[kimdl93]

Well, hmmm. I'm suppose that I want to look presentable for myself as a starting point. I don't want to see an old man staring out at me from the mirror. But mostly I want to look good to my wife, and my friends...again, to diminish as much as possible, the association of my appearance with my male origins. I don't want to be perceived a guy dressed up like a woman.

[Brittany CD]

I want to look nice simply because I want to look nice. I try to look my best in my regular life and that carries over to my dressing up. Also it's just fun to to try to dress up and look nice and try different looks. Just my opinion

[~Joanne~]

The Camera!! oh, wait, for me! lol

[TerriM]

I definitely dress for me. But I do love to hear compliments, more so than when I'm in guy mode. Especially when getting ready for a fancy event I tend to look at myself and say "alright, Im a pretty good looking woman". While as a guy I sometimes go out as a slob and really don't care what others think.

[Katey888]

Of course for me... And I guess some of you... that would be all who actually get a gander 99% of the time...

The other 1%? Well, anyone who happens to glance in my direction - I'd rather be receiving a 'wow!' than a

Katey x

[Isabella Ross]

Kate...I'm pretty much on the same page as you. But when asked to boil down my TG to its essence, I tell the few people who know about me that I have an irresistible urge look and feel soft, feminine and pretty.

[Rachael Leigh]

Kate for me I feel when I dress I want want to look my best, when I shop for women's clothes it takes me forever to find the right match but when I look for guy stuff I can pick out a shirt and whatever in 5 min. I really now understand why women take so long to shop. The variety of looks in women's fashion is so big and that is why I like it. Also when Im en drab Ive never felt I have to look great I can be unshaven or wear an ugly tee but dressing enfem it has to look great or Im just not happy. So I guess Im dressing for me and no I dont want to attract attention from men in fact I would prefer women to think I look good that to me would be a much higher complement

[missVS]

First and foremost I dress to impress for me because it gives me such a wonderful feeling. There are so many fashions and accessories different hair etc all as crossdessers that we can now try that is impossible in every day guy mode. I get ecited getting that new wig or new leggings and can't wait to see how it looks and dress up. As others mentioned when out I love the compliments also and do want to look hot out and about. I think Kate I am not quite like you in that in guy mode I am not really dressing to impress as much as being Victoria. I am more flashy as Victoria and very casual otherwise.

[Ressie]

Anyone who will look? Mostly for the camera and sometimes the camera prefers "rough" to nice!

[Judith96a]

Who am I trying to look nice for? - just me! Ideally it would be for my wife and me but... let's no go there. I like looking in the mirror and seeing a reasonably attractive girl rather than a boring man.

[2B Natasha]

Kate. I would say. I dress, what I consider nice for me, for, for society. I, personally like to see folks that have taken the effort to dress nicely. Be them men, women or those who have yet to decide. While I don't own a suit and never will. I can appreciate a person who has a suit that fits and is stylish. I love to see people dressed in nice dresses or skirt ensembles. I think these people make the world a more beautiful and visually interesting place. So I try to be that person who brings a smile that I try. If you could ask my wife she would tell you that I have certain rules if you are leaving the house. Like rule #1. NO PAJAMAS. Honestly it came from seeing so many people just not trying. Yoga pants, an oversized T and sneakers have become the outfit rigor. Don't get me wrong. Yoga pants are great. For yoga!

So there you go. I dress for me. For you. For everyone else. I'll always stick out. But I'll also always be remembered. Not as the giant tranny. But as that very nicely dressed man in a dress.

[ReineD]

So, basically I'm looking nice for myself as it's part of my self expression. If others like my looks it's an added bonus I guess.

And who is likely to like your look as a woman?

From a biological point of view, 90-95% (give or take) of the population wants to be attractive, at least initially, to the opposite sex in order to attract mates and procreate. This is hard-wired for the survival of our species and is a basic principle of Darwin's Sexual Selection.

This means there is a smaller percentage of people who are same-sex, no-sex, or self-attracted (or one of these combined with same-sex attraction), whose motives for wanting to be sexually attractive is NOT always to attract the opposite sex.

It is difficult for most wives (who do fall into the 90-95%) to understand a CDer's motive for wanting to be attractive as a woman, if she believes him to be heterosexual. You're right, we really don't get it because we have no other frame of reference than our own basic biological needs that are shared by the majority of people we grew up with and know.

I happened to have fallen in love with someone who belongs outside the 90-95%, but I cannot say that fundamentally I understand where he is coming from. I don't know that I can, ever, but I don't see "getting it" as a necessary factor for acceptance and support.

===============================================

If anyone is interested in reading academic research on the subject of beauty or sexual attractiveness related to sexual selection, here are a few articles and books confirming the concept. This is just a small sample that I found through google.

The evolutionary psychology of physical attractiveness: Sexual selection and human morphology, Journal of Ethology and Sociobiology, Cited by 294.
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science...62309595000682

The Rules of Attraction in the Game of Love, LiveScience.com online article.
http://www.livescience.com/7023-rule...game-love.html

Human (Homo sapiens) facial attractiveness and sexual selection: The role of symmetry and averageness. Journal of Comparative Psychology. Cited by 757.
http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/com/108/3/233/

(On the parasite effect mentioned in the above article:
http://phthiraptera.info/Publications/46272.pdf)

Beauty Is in the Adaptations of the Beholder: The Evolutionary Psychology of Human Female Sexual Attractiveness, University of Chicago Press, Cited by 349.
http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&...beauty&f=false

Male, Female: The evolution of human sex differences. American Psychohological Association. Cited by 1099.
http://psycnet.apa.org/index.cfm?fa=...2000-07043-000

[Beverley Sims]

Kate,
I answered this almost immediately I saw the subject line.
I like to look nice to satisfy myself.
There is a certain amount of pride involved as well.

[Lorileah]

I dunno but when I meet them I'll be ready

[Marcelle]

My dogs so they won't run away in terror and hide

[Michelle 78]

Love that Isha! my dog quite likes Michelle she always likes to sit on my knee when I'm dressed, saying that she doesn't like the noise my heels make on the hardwood floor she hides away!!

To answer the question in hand, I try to look nice for me as nobody else has ever seen me....apart from the dog that is!

[Lily Catherine]

Quite plausibly for myself though for me much of it is tactile - wanting to look good and feel good I suppose. I wear only the same few shirts and jeans in male mode, but en femme I have way more options on the macro scale (the male silhouette generally remains the same). Factor in also the rather common notion that some of us do not pay as much attention to our appearance when en drab compared to when en femme.