My daughter asked me how I wanted her to introduce me to her friends when presenting female since I will be doing so more often. I told her I was her father and would never be embarrassed to be introduced as such no matter how I was dressed. She wonders how many of you feel the same.
I know enough to know I don't know enough.
Peace
I say what ever everyone is comfortable with .If it works go for it
I have a hubcap diamond star halo
That kind of depends on you, now doesn't it?
Are you likely to be wearing pretties when you meet her friends? Then you are probably better off with her introducing you with your 'her' identity.
My kid deals with me being a big, burly guy who wears skirts and camis. I'm still 'Dad'. I'm kind of different here. I just want to share that it works.
If you are going to present as female, then go 'all in'. Your kids just want to support your choice.
<3
- MM
- Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
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"I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder
That your daughter wants to be supportive is good. Whatever you both are comfortable with is good enough!
Be yourself AND be true to you.
My GF used to tease me by telling me I was the cat's "Mommiedaddie"
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
Introduce me as her father unless there could be embarrassment, in that case don't let the situation occur at all.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
It wouldn't. Other me to be referred to as Dad, either. And I doubt anyone would mistake me for her mother!
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
I fell the same way. If she's not bothered by the introduction, then all's fine.
DonnaT
I left it up to my daughter (who is 30 next year - goodness time flies). However, I did explain that "mother" was probably not a good choice as I felt that had other connotations attached (giving birth to her comes to mind) so I would prefer father if she was going to invoke the parental moniker or she could introduce me as Isha. She has done both depending on the people she is introducing me to.
Hugs
Isha
Sorry, couldn't help but laugh out loud when I read this. I too have become a cat parent since marrying 8 years agoOriginally Posted by Lorileah
If you only knew the power of the pink fog! ~Joss
My children introduce me as their father no matter how I'm dressed. In the past they've hinted about me changing to drab when their friends come over. But they've finally gotten to the point where they realize this isn't going to happen, so they just go with it.
I decided to add a couple of points regarding my philosophy of the mom/dad thing. I believe that the title "Mother, mom, etc." is a privilege that I have not earned. Of course there's the whole issue of pregnancy and childbirth, which I was never able to experience, but that's not the only way to earn the title "Mother." I wanted to mother my children, but I quickly learned that they wouldn't accept that role from me. When they were hurt or troubled, the cried for their mother, not for me. So I learned how to be their father, because that's what they needed from me. "Father, dad, etc." that's the title I've earned, and that's how they should introduce me. For my grandchildren, I'm Grampa, not Gramma, for the same reason.
Last edited by CynthiaD; 12-24-2014 at 03:24 PM.
I told my step-daughter that I couldn't accept being called "mom" or "mother" because I hadn't played that role in her life (i met her when she was 10). We never really settled on how she'd introduce me, but I did tell her that if I have enough warning, I can promise to present as 100% male the first time I meet someone. Without warning, and after the first time, it's pretty much anything goes.
In some ways, that makes it her responsibility to deal with preparing her friends for meetings me. And she doesn't always do so, which is awesome. She often expects her friends to accept me as part of her family, and if they don't, they can go eff themselves. She's a cool kid.
Otherwise, we don't spend any time on pronouns. That's too trivial for us to consider. The rule around here is simple: If I'm wearing boobs, you do me honor by using the female pronoun, and you must introduce me as a female, even if it means saying something like "This is my step-dad, and her name is ....".
And that's all we care about it.
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