Happy 2015 everyone, and may all of your CD resolutions come true.
I normally don’t write about problems, or ask for advice and input , but OK, here goes. Every New Year’s Day we attend a wonderful brunch at a friend’s house with lots of old friends (I’m always in drab.) Several of them know about Claire, including Patti, a GG who met Claire at last year's Halloween dinner. Patti let the cat out of the bag to several of my friends, who took in stride (I don’t mind being outed). At one point some of the gals were talking about menopause and hot flashes, and Patti looked at me and asked if I’d had any. To which I replied “Not yet…”. One of my GG friends gave me a questioning look, to which I said “Kris, I cross dress.”. (As if that explained anything.)
To get to the point. All day I felt uncomfortable. Part of the reason was that we had disturbing news about a friend’s baby daughter (Tegan) who has been fighting a brain tumor, but there was more to it than that. Then I realized it was because I was wearing guy clothes. Later Sue and I were watching the Rose Bowl and she sensed my discomfort. This was the first time that I was consciously aware of wearing the wrong clothes, and I’m sure that I have felt this in the past and not realized it. She finally asked me “I think I know what is bothering you, besides the news about Tegan. Do you want to be Claire all of the time?” Wow. I hadn’t faced that one before, and couldn’t come up with an answer. This morning after Claire brought her usual cup of coffee in bed, I sat down and had an answer. “I’ve been thinking about what you asked me yesterday. Deep down, I think that if you weren’t here, yes, I would want to be Claire all of the time. But you are here, and I have family and co-workers who need my male self – as do you.”
So here is the question. How many of you are also uncomfortable in drab? I guess my solution (resolution) is to spend as much time as Claire as I can.
Thanks for listening, and New Year’s hugs to you all,
Claire