Long post warning....sorry. First let me say the ladies of this site rock!! As you can see from my low post count, I don't post alot (very shy). I visit here almost daily and have learned so much from the wonderful people here that I just wanted to say thanks.Okay a bit of background info to help. I'm a 45 year old that is married to the most wonderful woman I can imagine. She does know all about me and is not only accepting, but supportive and encouraging. Like many of the ladies here, I dressed enfemme at a young age. Stopped and started a couple times over the years. Always in the closet and always alone (my most carefully guarded secret). I am very much in the closet to most of the world as only a few very close friends and my beautiful bride know of my dressing. And with the job I have, I have no intentions of coming out any further at this time. However, the rules at my house are that I can dress whenever I wish, for as long as I wish, as long as the two kids we have still at home don't find out. I'm good with these rules and work really hard to stay within them (its really not too hard).
So what could be the problem you ask? Its just this. When I get dressed enfemme with my wife at home, I get very nervous. It still troubles me that she may think less of me or her view point on this subject may change. After a few minutes being dressed, I seem to relax and everything goes ok. I know this is not a very rational train of thought, but I can't seem to stop this train from rolling down the tracks. I have talked with my wife about this fear and she always tells me how much she loves me and it will work itself out.
So my question is......has anyone else experienced this sort of anxiety? Most times I think I'm just over thinking things a bit. But still....the fear is there in the back of my mind.
On a side note, my wife has asked if I would like to go on a small vacation with her this year, just the two of us. She mentioned flying out to California (we live in Georgia), but would not tell me what city, saying that she would like for me to spend a couple days out and about with her as Stephanie. I asked her what brought this on and she replied...I think it would help put you in a better place and help you feel better in your own skin. Wow I didn't see that one coming. As I have only ever been out of the house once before, I am really nervous about this and not sure what to do. Help!!!
Thanks for listening
Stephanie M.