Hi. I am writing here trying to get some input, as I am just lost.
As background, I am in my late 20's and I remember my first experience dressing up when I was back in 6th grade. When I went to college, I got to wear dresses, heels etc, a lot more in private and I loved how I felt- felt like a girl, who wished there was a girls night event and i was one of of the girls. I remember doing my nails, and getting excited over the color.
About 3 years back, I decided to put this to an end. I am not sure if I decided to end this, because I had some sort of guilt, or if I was tired of doing this in secret and did not want the burden, but I killed doing this. I had even told a very close female friend about my self and had told her that i was quitting, despite her offering to help me.
Today, 3 years later, I am thinking about this more and more. A part of me wants to paint my nails, wear a dress, put on some heels. I have gone from 3 years of not doing this, to all of a sudden, wanting the feeling of being a girl. Part of me wishes that I had taken my friends help and dressed up.
What do I do? I have not worn a dress, walked in heels for 3 years-- do I stay firm, or did I really kill something that was part of me? How do I tell this friend, that 3 years later, I have given up and want her help. I just don't know what to do.