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Thread: easier said then done

  1. #1
    Junior Member suzzi's Avatar
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    easier said then done

    I have told one person about my dressing and he thought it was ok,He had lots of questions for me and it felt good to finally tell someone. I wish it would be that easy to tell others.

  2. #2
    Silver Member Mollyanne's Avatar
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    Being that you have told one person, you expect others to hear about you. It may be better to tell all the people around you instead of them hearing some inflated fabrication of the truth.

    Molly
    "To thine own self be true"

  3. #3
    Gone to live my life
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    Hi Suzie,

    I guess it comes down to who you want to know and the reason why you want others to know. For me, telling most people in my life (family, friends, co-workers) was a necessity because I could not hide this part of me any longer. So while the initial tell (my wife) was difficult, followed by family (difficult still) . . . follow-on tells got easier (for me) and while I lost some friends many stayed with in support. So it does get easier. However, when you start sharing this information, you have to be prepared to own it because if you tell one person, you loose control of that information and that person is free to tell whomever . . . even if you ask them not to.

    Hugs

    Isha

  4. #4
    Banned Spammer
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    He may keep your secret he may not just be ready.
    Its not the end of the world if he tells someone anyway.

  5. #5
    Lisa Allisa's Avatar
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    Seems the cats out of the bag now, time to come clean to anyone who may ask and own your dressing. Good luck and happy dressing.
    "you are a strange species and there are many out there;shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you ,you are at your best when things are at their worst" ...[ Starman]
    It may of course be a bit disturbing to sense that one is really not so firmly anchored to the gender one was born into.

  6. #6
    Diva Victoria Demeanor's Avatar
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    Suzzi,
    I think congratulations are in order. That is a huge monumental step. Telling that first person is always one of the most difficult and scariest. If you are anything like me, you form thoughts in your head of what you are going to say and as soon as you open your mouth they all just disappear. I think if you decided to tell someone it's because you want to let your secret out and share it and the fact that you did must be a big relief to your inner soul. It sounds like it went well and he was accepting. I hope for you the best and that it works out well.
    When I am still and quiet, people who do not know me think, Oh how cute she's shy.
    People who do know me think, OMG RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Girls will be boys and boys will be girls It's a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for Lola

  7. #7
    Little Mrs. Snarky! Nadine Spirit's Avatar
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    Suzzi- good for you! It is difficult to tell anyone this info! Especially the first time! Glad that it worked out well for you.

    I don't know why this turned into a conversation about you now needing to tell anyone and everyone. Hey everyone, just because you tell one, does not mean you have to tell anyone else. Yes I am aware about not knowing for sure who that one person will tell, but I never told anyone that they couldn't talk about it to anyone else, and do you know what? Nobody told anybody. Nobody has ever come up to me and said, hey do you know what ______ told me? Real life is not just like middle school. Not everyone hears a "juicy piece of gossip," and then HAS to go run and tell. I have told somewhere abput 15-20 people now and seriously I don't think they have told anyone else. Sure they MAY have but it doesn't mean they did or that they will.

    Is being so fearful of not being able to trust others what keeps so many of you so deeply in the closet?

  8. #8
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Suzzi,
    Just because you have had one success you are obviously aware that others will not be so forthcoming.

    Take care who you tell.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  9. #9
    cisgender gal
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    I wish it would be that easy to tell others.
    It may actually be THAT easy. You Don't know till it happens. Per my girlfriends consent, I've told a few coworkers that she's m2f transgender, and both coworkers were totally cool with it.

  10. #10
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nadine Spirit View Post
    Nobody has ever come up to me and said, hey do you know what ______ told me? Real life is not just like middle school. Not everyone hears a "juicy piece of gossip," and then HAS to go run and tell.
    And yet, somehow word often gets around. It may not happen today, or tomorrow. Some of us can keep our mouths shut forever. Others can't. What one person sees as something secret, another doesn't think is important so they say something in passing one day, and eventually it gets around to the local gossip, and that's when it spreads like wildfire.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  11. #11
    Banned Read only
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    Suzzi,
    I've checked your details but you don't mention a wife/partner so I' assume the person you told was a very close friend !
    No harm in that the fact that he accepted it and then asked questions is good, it allows you to think of it in another light !
    The mistake I make is don't overdo it , you may now want to talk more but don't think he does !
    After your first it does get easier, at some point you may regret telling someone, they may end a friendship or tell everyone on the assumption you are totally out ! You have to go with that one but the World doesn't end through it !
    The other point to remember is you're not the only CDer, I know the figures are debatable and also people do have their own problems, your CDing isn't the same problem to them !

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