so a year has passed since my reveal to my wife 2013, after the words left my mouth i thought it was over for us, the support that i was shown was nothing short of remarkable, so thank you all once again.
we have maintained a mostly DADT type relationship for most of that year and just before the holidays i moved it into light discussion (very light) as i needed to know what my limits were between us were as it was never brought up or talked about, going out to TG venues and support meetings, a professional photo-shoot were some things talked about, i didn't push much past those items even though some other things were on my back burner.
i felt compelled to share as many threads cover the pros and cons of the reveal but you seldom here the after thoughts, this is not a debate for either….please keep it that way….its as i always felt your personal choice for your reasons, mine was pushed by a resent death of my father and reading of some favorable outcomes by members here that were read by me after i joined.
if i passed how would i convey the answers my wife may have when she found my *stuff*, i told what it was I've done and do, answered all those typical questions, those typical concerns, this may not work for all of us. i would suggest that if you share that kind of concern to type up a letter of those things you would like your other half to know and include it with your things you hide so you can provide that closure for them if your fate should end earlier than they’res.
so im out to my wife, I'm sure that a family member or so knows or assumes and even friends who really weren't who may have suspected assumed and/or moved on. my boy will have to be told at a later date as he’s at that vulnerable teenage stage of life with a girlfriend and i don't want to rock the boat so to say…
on our anniversary i proposed to her and asked to renew our vows on our 25th anniversary, still to come….
for those without a mate and compelled to disclose to friends or family its just as important to convey your position with tact and not a “tah dah” type moment. you will be taken much more seriously and respect shown will more likely be reciprocated back.
its always a gamble and once its out there it could always change, it may become better or it could also easily get worse, its no guarantee either way.
i wanted to share so anyone who has thought about this could use this info, new members or seasoned regulars…..remind them that its personal and daunting but which ever way you decide the group has your back and support is plentiful…..but the outcomes are as varied as much as the folks that make up our community…..
to those who are struggling in a relationship after a reveal i hope that you persevere and you use this resource to its fullest, i wish that my wife had the support i received here…..although suggested she never sought any as far as i know….
thanks for reading and thanks again for the support, this time last year i didn't think id still be married right now………
ok thats enough of the serious stuff….go find that thread about your "sense of humor"…...and after that theirs football……