What is it About Sisters Laughing at Us?

[SusanaO]

Today I had a surprise visit from my sister this morning. She came to get some old pictures of my grandparents I had scanned for my mother. I hadn't gotten ready for work, so I was still in my pj's (shorts and a tank top here in So Cal). I answered the door, greeted her, she came in, and I told her I had sorted the pictures and stacked them on the kitchen table. She sat down at the kitchen table and I opened the refrigerator to fix myself some breakfast.

Then, she starts laughing.

"What's so funny," I ask.

"Your legs. They're shaven."

"Waxed, actually" I reply.

"You're so ridiculous. And those toes!" (I was barefoot and sporting a French tip pedicure)

That's the second time she laughs, since she saw me with shaven legs last summer.

I've read from other members and experiences online that when they were caught by their sisters, they were laughed at. Is there some underlying reason for them to find it amusing seeing their brothers feminized? I also wonder why she doesn't ask WHY I do it. Perhaps she has an idea of what's going on?

Perhaps you may remember my recent "Consequences of coming out to my mother" thread... that said, given she's much closer to my mother than I, I hope she's warming me up by telling mother I'm also shaving my legs.

[CatCloud]

I have two younger sisters and I think them laughing at me or pointing out any little thing I change is just normal for them. I tend to keep my fingernails on the long side and every time I saw them they made a comment about it. They still do sometimes if there isn't something else for them to comment on.

[Marcelle]

Hi Susana,

I guess it might depend if your sister knows about your CDing or not. If she doesn't know then she is probably going to find her brother feminizing aspects of himself as a bit odd and laughing could just be a nervous way of dealing with such a revelation. Even if she knows you CD the laughing mixed with remarks could also just be her way of coping with you being CD. I don't get from your post that she was being rude and laughing hysterically but more so just laughing in the context of being a bit silly. The first time both my sisters met Isha, they both have a bit of a chuckle more so because it was odd and nervous laughter ensued. Now not so much as they are used to seeing Isha.

Hugs

Isha

[Nicole T]

Whether or not she sees it as CDing, she can obviously see your feminizing trends, and yeah I think it might be just a way of dealing with it.

[Kate Simmons]

That seems odd. You would think Sisters would appreciate how hard it is to be a woman, wouldn't you?

[jjjjohanne]

I'd say that she is doing openly with you, whom she trusts, what she would suppress if it were a stranger. Isn't that what you'd do if she decided to grow a beard? You'd comment, joke, harass, or whatever is natural for your family because of your familiarity. But, if it was a woman at work, you would treat her with professionally... and then possibly make comments behind her back. (Now, I know I am probably provoking people to say, "I'd never do that". Indeed there are those among us that would not do such things, but I expect that some of us probably would.)

[kimdl93]

Why not ask your sister what she finds so amusing?

[Claire Cook]

Hi Susana,

I'm an only child and probably have no business saying this, but perhaps as Johanne and Kat have said, this is part of what sibs do (out of affection?) to each other -- gentle kidding? I wonder if maybe it's time to open up to her.... but that depends on your relationship.

[scarletcd]

I had this worry when I came out to my Brother. We are incredibly close as Brothers and I was worried that changing the dynamic to being his little Sister would have caused issues.

[Christie ann]

My sister would give me a hard time just to give me a hard time no matter what it was about.

[Eryn]

Why not ask your sister what she finds so amusing?

Precisely! And then, if her actions disturb you, tell her that you do not appreciate her ridiculing your grooming.

Of course, if you tease her in a similar way you can't really complain.

[justmetoo]

I agree with Isha and Eryn.

I am out to my sisters, and they have seen pictures or seen me dressed in person. No laughter, just support, acceptance, and love. And positive comments/compliments.

Maybe being out to them is part of the difference. As well as the dynamics between different individuals.

[carrie2014]

My wife and I were visiting my mother and father in florida a few years back My brother came over to see us and my mother sent him and I to the store for milk I was wearing shorts shaved leggs and pantyhose. First he said as we went our the door what happen to the hair on your leggs. I said I have to shave it off so it does not show through my pantyhose. I guess he was in such shock he never said another word about it but i could see the wheels turning in his head, he is thinking to himself what is going on here!

[sometimes_miss]

My sister would give me a hard time just to give me a hard time no matter what it was about.

^this. Some siblings never outgrow the rivalry they have as children, and take any opportunity to get in another put down. Parents sometimes do this as well, to grown children. Unfortunately, I'm subject to unkind comments from both.

[Adriana Moretti]

I told my sister.....1 minute after she told me she was Lesbian...........I'm sure I'm in the minority with that family dynamic.

[Mia27]

When I first told my sister, she laughed at me. I could understand why, I am usually a manly kind of guy. Thats how my family saw me. She made jokes, it wasnt until i showed her a picture of me dressed, she took the situation a little more seriously. She is very understanding, and accepting.

[Beverley Sims]

As long as it is not ridicule.

[SusanaO]

That gives me an idea for when she does ask why I shave them


Thanks for all your replies, ladies. I feel much better now realizing it's just a silly sibling thing.

[Krisi]

Lots of people find crossdressing humorous. Look at all the old TV shows and movies.

If it bothers her, tell her to stop. Tell her you are a crossdresser and that's why you do it.

BTW: For all thouse who post that nobody will notice if you shave your legs, arms, etc. This is the reality. People do notice.

[Mollyanne]

I didn't have any sister(s) but knowing what I know now I WISH I HAD A SISTER OR TWO!!!!!!

Molly

[Dena]

I'd rather have someone laugh at (with) me, than some other reactions like crying...

[Pat]

Actually, what surprises me is that you seem to think your sister wouldn't/shouldn't laugh at you. My family experience is that laughing at you is job 1 for siblings. But it's laughter tempered by love and that's what it sounds like from your story.

But my suggestion would be don't hope that she's warming up your Mom by telling tales. If you want her to run interference for you, ask her to do that.

[FeliciaMCD]

Many, many years ago I tested the waters on telling my sister. I probably did it in the completely wrong way, but she seemed more like "what the heck?" than anything. Never went anywhere after that.

I can't see her laughing at me. I think she would just find it weird.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Susana, It just is a case of sibling rivalry .

[donnalee]

My wife and I were visiting my mother and father in florida a few years back My brother came over to see us and my mother sent him and I to the store for milk I was wearing shorts shaved leggs and pantyhose. First he said as we went our the door what happen to the hair on your leggs. I said I have to shave it off so it does not show through my pantyhose. I guess he was in such shock he never said another word about it but i could see the wheels turning in his head, he is thinking to himself what is going on here!

Perfect!!

My only living sister is about 700 miles away. She's older than I and still thinks she is in charge of me somehow, something I do not appreciate. I visit her once or twice a year and we talk at least once a month. She never married, I'm her closest relative and we both think we should be closer, but when I visit, 3 days is about maximum before she starts to dig the spurs in. She doesn't know about my dressing and never will as long as I'm alive; I just don't need the grief.