Coming out to my paiting group !

[Teresa]

I've been in my painting group for almost ten years but have just returned after a two year break, some members have become very good friends and over the years shared their domestic highs and lows.
I enjoy painting at home dressed and have attended the meetings underdressed more than once, the tutor is very easy going so I have an overwhelming urge to ask his feelings on me attending dressed ! Obviously any reservations about other members being offended or the local council policy on TG issues would have to be considered.( The art room is part of the local art centre owned and run by the local council.)
I have done some self portraits, I thought about taking them in to work on them would be a way of breaking the ice !

Any thoughts or have some members actually done something like this ?

[tifftg]

Interesting question and opportunity. I love the thought of bringing and working on a self portrait as that opens the discussion in a meaningful and personal way. Good luck with that.

[Jenniferathome]

Just remember that if you come out to this group, you are out to the entire village in which you live. Are you ready for that? Is your wife?

[Leslie Langford]

Teresa, I doubt that the local town council would stand in the way of you attending your painting group sessions en femme, as doing so would likely be considered discriminatory. Would they require Muslim women to remove their hijabs if someone in the group were to tale offense at that? I highly doubt it.

My gut feeling is that it would probably go smoothly for you. Likely most of the members of your group already are women, and being the empathetic creatures that most are by nature, they would probably not only embrace you, but also laud you for having the courage to be your true self. Besides, we are not talking about a female rugby or roller derby league here. These are women with an artistic bent, and being liberal in their thinking and open-minded generally goes with the territory.

As for any men in the group, only you can judge, but odds are that they would be similarly open-minded for the same reasons postulated above.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I can't say I agree with Leslie. Village painting groups are a very, very long way from Andy Warhol and Greenwich Village. I'd say they're composed of exactly the same people who attend the Women's Institute meetings, village fetes and church fund-raisers- all good people no doubt, but rampantly liberal and comfortable with crossdressers?

Hmm. Be wary my dear.

[Persephone]

Jennifer said it before I did.

Going locally public is "In for an ounce, in for a pound." A few years ago I started dipping my toe in the water, showing up en femme at my hairdresser, then the manicure shop, here and there. Now I feel shy and embarrassed if I'm caught in drab!

It's not bad, of course, as I love my life and, I suspect from following your posts, you will love it too. But that first step of coming out to people is the moment you open one of Pandora's Boxes.

Believe me, I am not trying to dampen your enthusiasm, just verifying that that first step is a long one.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[CONSUELO]

Go for it. Given some of your other posts about the current situation I would say you need a support group and these people may be it.

I was reminded of my attending a weekend drawing class several years ago. I was the only male in the class which was taught by a lovely lady who is lesbian.
We all got along famously and at the end I was voted 'honorary woman" by the class. As I was always underdressed I wondered if the hugs all around revealed the lines of my lingerie to anyone.

So Teresa, skip the underdressing and go for being one of the group.

[Taylor Dame]

Teresa, like you I'm in somewhat of a DADT relationship with my wife. What effect would it have on her if she learned of your coming out to the painting group? I live in a small town and have experienced how quickly rumors and gossip can spread. It could be a tough call, but by all means do what you think is best.

[Stephanie47]

The Sexual Offences Act of 2003 overhauled the definitions of sexual misdemeanors in the United Kingdom. Cross dressing is not against the law in the United Kingdom. You will only have to deal with the narrow mindness of some in the general public. You're pretty much going to do what is in your best interests. I say go for it and let the chips fall where they may.

[Marcelle]

Hi Teresa,

Being one who is completely out to the those around me I can attest that once you release the information to group of people who are not close to you . . . well let's say it will travel like wildfire and you will have little chance of controlling it. So be sure this is what you want before acting.

Hugs

Isha

[Jilmac]

Teresa, In a small way our crossdressing lifestyle is an art form. That being said, I think presenting your feminine side in the form of art to fellow artists, would not only be appreciated, but welcomed. So I say, go for it and let all the sisters on the forum know the results.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Teresa, I'm glad that you have something to take your mind off your other problems.

[Teresa]

The Art Centre is in my local town just over two miles away just to correct that point !
One of the problems I do have is my mother at the age of 85 still works at the centre serving refreshments and sometimes an usherette, seeing people to their seats in the small theatre/cinema. So I would have to come out to her before she found out by some other source ! My wife and I discussed this point awhile ago and decided at her age there was no point in telling her but obviously that would have to change.
My initial approach maybe to Email my tutor with my avatar picture to find out his initial feelings and any objections, and then approach the Art Centre to find out their official policy on TG/TS issues.
As for my wife objecting, it may sound harsh but I think she's had her chance to to help me to come to terms with my CDing, now I must start the ball rolling regardless !

[MsVal]

That's not quite stepping out of the closet, it's more like blowing the door off with explosives. I would do it, but we're not talking about me, we're talking about you.

There would likely be some amount relief from your bottled up desires and some amount of damage from such a reveal. The question you need to ask yourself is whether the potential gain is greater than the potential loss.

As for a photo, the avatar looks great; so do the photos you posted near the end of November.

Best wishes
MsVal

[CONSUELO]

Given the recent confrontation with your wife, this would be a very big step and essentially you would be coming out to everyone. With your mother working at the community centre also, news may spread fast.

[Kristyn Hill]

I will be dressed and painting later tonight so as said earlier, we are an art form. If you feel like it will enhance your existence, let the live art show paint in public. Good Luck and let us know what you chose.

[MelanieAnne]

If I were in your painting group, my first reaction would be, this is a personal matter. Why are you telling us this? What kind of reaction are you looking for?

One of the problems I do have is my mother at the age of 85 still works at the centre serving refreshments and sometimes an usherette, seeing people to their seats in the small theatre/cinema.

Given the above, why don't you wait until your mother passes, and spare her this possible trauma. This might cause your mother quite some embarrassment in her community.

[Teresa]

I had to smile during a painting session at the group today because in a very small way I'd outed myself without realising it !
I had to pull my sleeves up and forgot that my hands and arms are completely shaved and my nails are long and shaped ! I usually work on an easel in full view of the group and they often come to chat and ask me to show them certain techniques, one lady did appear to be more intent on my arms and hands rather than the paint subject !

[JenniferR771]

I say its too risky to come out to your group. You have tension at home, right? Why make that worse? I think its OK to come out to your leader. Or perhaps mention that it is just a one time thing for artistic purposes. Test the waters so to speak. Sometimes attitudes of the public change slowly. Best of luck, in any case. Show us your self portrait!

[melaknee]

i don't know the answer, but it sounds like a great sreenplay and i loved reading everyone's opinion. thanks melaknee

[Lorileah]

As for my wife objecting, it may sound harsh but I think she's had her chance to to help me to come to terms with my CDing, now I must start the ball rolling regardless !

Wow you are incredibly naive or you have a death wish. You didn't get help so you are going to poke the sleeping lion. I think you have more to worry about than the art group

I can't say I agree with Leslie. Village painting groups are a very, very long way from Andy Warhol and Greenwich Village. I'd say they're composed of exactly the same people who attend the Women's Institute meetings, village fetes and church fund-raisers- all good people no doubt, but rampantly liberal and comfortable with crossdressers?

aren't artists usually MORE free thinking and liberal?

Given the above, why don't you wait until your mother passes, and spare her this possible trauma. This might cause your mother quite some embarrassment in her community.

Now here I have to really disagree. What if mom (hopefully) lives to be 110? Now Teresa is also 25 years older. Living with her secret everyday. Having it eat at her. Maybe even blaming Mom like she blames her wife for not being happy. Embarrassment goes away quickly. Living a lie kills you slowly. I think telling mom is not a bad idea. I don't think you tell the art group before you tell mom though

[MelanieAnne]

"Mom" isn't going to live to 110! Maybe another 5 years. It's not always all about us.