I think most of us were raised in an environment where homosexuality was considered either a bad thing, or at least, much less desirable than heterosexuality. The old 'not in my backyard' behavior by our parents, families, school mates and coworkers had a very strong effect on what we find acceptable in ourselves as well as the world around us. Even those here who date men or enjoy physical intimacy of any kind with another man often always make sure to qualify it as 'only when I'm in femme mode' less anyone might see it as homosexual feelings and behavior. Women probably feel the exact same way; so when faced with being in love with a man who has a significant female part of his personality, she would naturally think that subconsciously, she must have known, and been attracted to the female traits, and so wonder about herself having lesbian tendencies, which are just as disturbing to most women as male-male feelings are to most men.