This coming week will be a big milestone for me. I have my first counseling session with a GD-specialized therapist on Monday afternoon. I found this therapist by searching the web for therapists who specialize in transsexual issues, and this therapist stood out for me for a number of reasons, including the number of years of serving the local trans community with specialized care. I also took my regular doctor's advice this week and scheduled an appointment for Tuesday with a doctor in the same clinic system, although at a different branch, who has solid experience with specific trans health care issues, including HRT and other relevant practices. My doc said she's willing to "share me" with the other doctor! I feel as if I am FINALLY going to get moving on working through the issues I've denied and repressed with shame for so long.
Today was a great start to this week, as I had my first heart-to-heart phone call with a sister member I met through this forum. She has become a good friend (I have several already!), and it was a big deal for me to talk about this. The concept of planning to talk (as in therapy) versus breaking through the emotional resistance of actually doing it is surprisingly big. But just before we had planned to speak on the phone, I had to stop by the UPS Store to drop off some shoes I bought at Zappos that didn't fit (I bought the same pair in 2 sizes and was sending back the pair that were too big). As I stood in line, thinking about the big week to come, and getting impatient to get done so I could talk to my dear friend, I heard someone come in the store behind me. I didn't look initially, but then I heard this booming voice, feminine in nature, but strong and somewhat masculine in register. I turned around to see a woman, standing perhaps 6' 4" tall, big shouldered, and smiling at me. She was pretty, wore her own hair, casual clothes (jeans and a peasant blouse style top), but what I really noted was that she was clearly comfortable in her own skin. I believe her to be a trans woman rather than CD, and I gave her a huge smile in return, and she smiled even bigger and winked at me. I was overjoyed to see her. I don't recall seeing her before, but she clearly knew the workers in the store, so she must be somewhat local, as that's who she was addressing when she came in the door. I decided to not speak to her if only because I needed to go and get ready for that important phone call, but next time I will definitely strike up a casual conversation. I also wouldn't go up to a woman and assume I could be sure she was trans or CD or a GG, or if they were comfortable in being identified if not GG. But a friendly Hello never hurts, right?
For what it's worth, I see her walking into the store with me there and our exchanging such a confident smile as a positive omen for me (or at least a validating coincidence). I so look forward to being out and about as natural me, presenting as Karen, and being so comfortable about it. How inspiring was that? Wonderful start for a big week to come.
Just wanted to share a moment.
Karen