Another ***baby*** step away from DADT....

[mykell]

an acquaintance from the forum shared a wine tip with me,
i found a vintage at our local adult beverage emporium and purchased it,
last night wifey asks what that bottle in the fridge (white wine) is and i precede to tell her what it was and why it was not our normal choice and who recommended the choice....she understood it was someone from "my" group she calls us, (hi group) and we each did our part to consume some ....she offered her critique on the wine, well she is not a fan and offered that i communicate that to this soul...my response was you tell them, she replied i will !! ....and then i told her i would warn them.

so this is the warning to (will fill in with permission) that wifey was not the biggest fan of the vintage, although that was my fault as i forgot the name of the red recommended.....

OK my point.....albeit a simple conversation and not directly about my dressing....but acceptance that i dress and share with others about it and this night she accepted and acknowledged this, had light conversation about it without any contempt was huge and a small step of progress......

just wanted to share.....

[Teresa]

Mikell,
I guess from now on you have to be more careful what you say on the forum, you may have your wife looking over your bra marked shoulder !!
Sorry I'm slightly wary of baby steps now, I thought I was making progress and got slammed by a very heavy boot !!

I never thought about a section devoted to a good wine list ! Perhaps worth a try !!

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Mikell, some folks don't truly understand the seismic movements of something small when living / existing in a stonewalled DADT relationship. I applaud you looking , recognizing & appreciating even the slightest movement from your wife. Thinking positive & being positive in such a relationship requires constant diligence ; & I applaud you for such. Keep being positive!!! Peace,,mel

[Zylia]

Wait what? You stored red wine in your fridge? Is it like 90 degrees Fahrenheit outside?

Anyway, good to hear your wife starts to acknowledge this side of you.

[Jenniferathome]

THAT was my astonishment as well Zylia. I think not liking cold red wine is a good thing!

And Mikell, you know I am an advocate of opening the door when you can without pressure on the wife. You did it perfectly. Every baby step adds up. It may never add up to total acceptance, but I have long argued that just being able to talk about it it the critical thing. Well done (except for the wine).

[mykell]

thanks jen, but it was a white wine....SB, (spell check not co-operating) but she does like her Cabernet cold also (please dont hold this against her), myself i like the bite of a room temp Merlot.

[Ally 2112]

Every step foward is a good step no matter what kind of wine

[Edyta_C]

If you like Merlot, try a Spanish Rioja! There are some vintners that suggest refrigerating reds. Now, they also suggest letting them come back to room temp or a few degrees below before imbibing. It is claimed that that keeps it better. I can't tell the difference so only white in the fridge.

Edy

[Tina_gm]

Even if the conversations aren't bursting with warmth or enthusiasm. They are still talks without anger or hurt, so yes baby steps. Keep taking them. I don't always get a positive response and that is ok. So long as it is not hurtful, cutting or in some way diminutive then that's ok. I don't have an expectation for my wife to "Like it" just accept me for who I am.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Mikell. I geez you can tell her it was me, but don't ask for a recund on the empty bottle.
Keep on bringing things up to her like that, even if it's in a lighthearted joking manner.
Anything to remind her that it's there.
Btw that '09 Sauvignon Blanc is getting a bit old. That stuff is better as young wine. It's should be aged on the car seat
on the way home from the winery. It's not bad but has lost a lot of it's fruit characters by now.
It is also more of a wine to be served with a summertime salad.
I think I have you the name of the red. FYI the winery changed winemakers about ten years a ago. So the reds have changed also. The newer wines are better.
One other thing I thought of , in '08 there wS a big fire here, it tainted the grapes with smoke flavors. Some say it got carried into the wines as well.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[mykell]

what i drank the wine after its time....

well i did enjoy it, it was more of a champagne bouquet without the effervescence, i dont enjoy fruit characters around my wine...i enjoy a champagne toast, (or any toast for that matter) wifey not a big champagne fan.....
she however was probably expecting those characters and thus did not enjoy it as much....

but seriously, sharing this with you all and her give me more of a buzz than the wine....this time last year i was ready for "us" to be over and done.... ill take the baby steps as opposed to jamming her up with my kink, i feel more at ease with the lighthearted joking manner myself....
we will be looking for the red glasses optional.....

[Tracii G]

Ouch you never chill a vintage wine..............

[MissTee]

As with dressing, I find we all have our wine nuances. I'm a red wine kind of gal. I can do room temp Cabs, but a chill is nice as well. Malbec and Shiraz I love, but think Merlot is the Denny's of red wine. That's just me. Good you could use the wine discussion for a sampling of acceptance.

[Kevyn53]

I know a bunch of people who dislike "hot" wine. I never understand it.