The Feminine Mode

[paola_gemi]

Hi All: As I have posted in other threads, I have struggled with my Sexuality as eel as my Gender identity for many years.

When I was younger I never behave any feminine at all, well... i never behaved feminine at at, I always have been in my male mode, and my actions towards other people would always seem normal I suppose.
I think that no one that knows me would think of me as feminine, all the opposite, specially since my temper some time can be tough, not that girls can't be tough, but when I get upset, I get guy upset if that make it clearer.

Anyway I started to explore my feminine side about 10 years ago, and when ever posible I dress and if I can I go out and try to have fun.
The urges come and go, but lately I have been having the feeling stronger than ever, like I am about to burst into a beautiful woman.
I have convince my self little by little that it might be time to come out and be happy. The funny thing is that the more I think of it the more feminine I feel.
When I say lately I mean in the last 3 months. When My wife goes out I some times do some make up, and some times dress a little bit.
I am not out to her yet, but she knew I had some Bisexual Issues, but she doesn't ask.
Some times when I watch TV I just sit and try to pose a feminine so she can see it and may be she would ask.
Lately...again!!! When I am home by my self, I walk around the house and I feel feminine when I try to mimic women's moves, I pay closer attention to my moves, to my hand gestures and all the movement that a woman would have, and now that I am letting my hair grow long, it feels even more natural.
It is incredible the way I behave when I am alone, and let me tell you it feels just great.

Could you share your experience, if in your guy mode you are very manly man, or if you behave softly, and when you are dressed, do you turn into feminine mode?

I am interested to know what others go through.


Hugs,


Paola.

[StephiSpring]

Your post reminded me of some thoughts that I have had recently. Of course, all of us (GG or GM) were born with a mix of male and female hormones. I think the ratio may influence our orientation, and it also changes as we age. As far back as junior and high school, and continuing to now, I seem to have always had more GG than GM friends. I regard several I have had for the past five years as my sisters. There are only GM in my family, so I never had any sisters. I feel very comfortable hanging out with my "sisters," so much that my GG SO has sometimes suspected I was having an affair with the single ones. I wasn't, they are just my sisters.

Without doing so intentionally, I sometimes "catch" myself sitting in what society may regard as a female pose, rather than a more manly pose. The older I get (early 60s now), the less I care about what "society" thinks about how I sit or what I wear. When I dress at home, or underdress going out in pubic or to work, I too feel my feminine side becoming more dominant, and my masculine mannerisms becoming less prominent. If clothes make the man, then they can also "make" the woman.

[Sarah-RT]

In guy mode I like to think I'm a manly man, I like sports, war films, I joke to some of my friends that they dress in a gay way since I think baseball caps and tshirts are manly.
I have a bad temper and when I get drunk I come close to getting in bar fights from time to time, I also think the military is the definition of MAN.
I don't think I over compensate because I CD or at least not deliberately, I often use the term bad ass to describe things like guns or cars

Then when I CD I try to dress like girls my age, skinny jeans, pump flats, peplum tops and girly tshirts, I don't act effeminate but I try to emulate girls by listening to girl music or sit and pose like a girl, and I'd love to be able to shop or talk clothes with other girls

I'd never like to mix the two though which I can't understand and that's what I find so conflicting about myself.

[MissTee]

My wife says I don't fluctuate that much. Only difference she notices is that I am more relaxed when dressed and don't think anything of kicking back to a good chick flick. In drab, well, she notices I'd rather hammer nails with my fists. Go figure.

[Rachelakld]

In guy mode, one daughter and I are manic killers on the paintball field, other daughter and I are about to check out a Karate class.
I'm OCD at building, plumbing, house maintenance, car repairs, and punctuality.
I like cowboys & sci-fi movies

In girl mode (and I don't have to dresss, just flick the on/off switch) I'm relaxed, if things don't go my way, it's okay. I like chick flicks

[pamela7]

I feel likes its a spectrum, yes I love heavy manual work, big weights in the gym, making things in wood and metal, and I loved sports when young and fit enough to play, and I work with people compassionately in drab. However, dressed, I am more careful, more aware of my movements, more sensual, more sexually aroused, aware of the world in a more female way - considerate. My daughter says I'm more approachable when dressed. My wife loves shopping with me now, whereas before it was a nightmare. I feel also its too soon to really know, I'm already keeping more ambiguous clothing for when drabbing.


xxx

[Robbin_Sinclair]

I feel likes its a spectrum, yes I love heavy manual work, big weights in the gym, making things in wood and metal, and I loved sports when young and fit enough to play, and I work with people compassionately in drab. However, dressed, I am more careful, more aware of my movements, more sensual, more sexually aroused, aware of the world in a more female way - considerate. My daughter says I'm more approachable when dressed. My wife loves shopping with me now, whereas before it was a nightmare. I feel also its too soon to really know, I'm already keeping more ambiguous clothing for when drabbing. xxx

This comment is about a close to me as any of them, sans the weightlifting.

I don't like trying to act masculine anymore because it usually is accompanied by dislike, prejudging and a general bad attitude. I am trying to work with myself and others in programs that involve god talk. That doesn't work easily for me in male, overcompensation mode. In fem mode it comes more easily but this can move into oversexuality mode, which may be okay but just wastes too much of my time.

Right now, Robbin is taking a break but is still trying to do creative writing. I have two composition books. I write longhand in them. One is Robbin's and one is that boy in me. When writing as Robbin the fem clothes come out, pumps and, ironically, a Clergy tartan kilt. I find kilts so fem. It's hilarious seeing "robust" men wearing them but I get it. After I finish my three pages in Robbin's book, I'll read part of Virginia Wolfe's A Room of One's Own. Reading women authors frees me as well.

Hope that helps honey, robbin, giving a deep breath and a very sincere virtual hug,