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Thread: Your sexuality

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member AnnieMac's Avatar
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    Your sexuality

    It occurred to me recently, and perhaps after reading a few threads here, that I have always had a certainly female-like quality to my own sexuality. No, I don't mean that my CD makes me desire, or fantasize being with men, I have always been naturally attacted to, and prefer the company of women. Although it's a little hard to explain, but what I mean is my sexuality is generally more of a submissive quality, and also I am less of the initiator most times. I've been this way pretty much since I first became aware that girls were "interesting"! So as you can image, this did not always make me so succesful, when girls I dated expected something more aggressive being male. There were however, those few it really clicked with. Anyone feel similar?
    So my CD-ing didn't cause this, but I think the two are related. I welcome any comments or bricks thrown at me, it is just a forum after all!
    -Love, Annie
    Last edited by AnnieMac; 02-03-2015 at 03:54 AM.

  2. #2
    Silver Member prene's Avatar
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    I have always been that way also.
    I do love women and when I was younger I was the sumissive one.

    do not want to get to personal but I seem to want more cuddling and touching then geting down to business.

    I always lasted longer than the girls.

  3. #3
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    I think it just comes naturally to many of us to be "gentle men". We appreciate and respect others for who they are.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  4. #4
    Senior Member Nikkilovesdresses's Avatar
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    I understand totally. I would much prefer to be submissive in sex, whether straight or gay sex (the gay part is long ago, but the urge is still there), and it's a conscious effort to be the 'taker', but I recognize that if I don't, my wife will be robbed of her own equal enjoyment of being taken. I agree that for me the CD is probably a reflection or an expression somehow of the submissive side of me, but that's dangerous territory- it's effectively saying that I see women as submissive. Talk about inviting bricks to be thrown...
    I used to have a short attention spa

  5. #5
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    I would probably not use the word submissive, maybe equal and reciprocal. In my mind at least, when my wife and I are together, I'm also a female partner in intimacy.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

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  6. #6
    Banned Read only Vicky_Scot's Avatar
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    Totally agree.

    I have always felt more comfortable in female company than male and still do.

  7. #7
    Member Dana3's Avatar
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    I wouldn't say so much submissive as it is the need and desire to be wanted and desired as much as I want and desire her? A mutual thing, which being the man ~ male, is largely overlooked more often than not IMHO? Why can't it be mutual rather than dominant and submissive all of the time? Why is that the male always has to be the initiator and instigator? Its a basic HUMAN charterisctic to be wanted and needed, and even desired? Who wants to be with someone that doesn't want to be with them?

  8. #8
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    I feel like a every other man albeit I'm not a dominant guy(I'm submissive not talking sexually) think there's a female inside of me that makes me sensitive caring kind human being
    I really think there's a female inside of me who wants to come out. I really do think

  9. #9
    Silver Member Tina_gm's Avatar
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    Sex or sexuality have never entered into my personal realms of being Transgender. Whether any of it could, I don't know. But it's not a reason or desire for me to dress. As for intimate acts, while I wouldn't classify myself as overly aggressive, I am not the submissive type either. And yes, it is stereo typical as not all women are submissive and that doesn't in any way make them more masculine.

  10. #10
    MIDI warrior princess Amy Fakley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kimdl93 View Post
    In my mind at least, when my wife and I are together, I'm also a female partner in intimacy.
    Yeah, this is pretty close to how it is for me as well. I'm naturally "submissive" (for lack of a better term) ... which does not mean that I hold some ancient stereotypical view that all women are submissive. But I certainly am, and I am also really quite girly for a natal dude. Submissive roles (not just in regard to sexuality) come very natually to me, so take that for what its worth, lol.

    Sometimes my wife can be quite dominant, and to me that is very enjoyable. It is also enjoyable to become the dominant partner during sexytimes ... it's really just what mood we're both in at the time I think.

    I don't think my crossdressing informs my sexuality so much as both of them are a natural expression of my personality.
    "Why shouldn't art be pretty? There are enough unpleasant things in the world." -Pierre-Auguste Renoir

  11. #11
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    For me as a heterosexual I've always made my lovers understand that what feels good for her feels good for me.
    There are obvious differences in physical plumbing but sex should be about equality and sharing. Her penis is inside, mine on the outside but everything else in the erogenous body is exactly the same.
    My earlobes are just as sensitive as hers, my nipples just as much so, my temples need soft kisses, and that delta above my bum crack gets goosebumps too.
    Some women have been uncomfortable with breaking the glass on this issue, but the ones who have embraced it have enjoyed the enhanced notion of true sharing of our orgasms.
    Last edited by ophelia; 02-03-2015 at 10:42 PM.

  12. #12
    Member scarletcd's Avatar
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    When I started and considered myself a CDer I was much more submissive. I don't think it was down to dressing female but just who I was at the time. However since being identifying as a Trans Woman I've become far more neutral but really more dominant.
    And on the question of sexuality I would say I was bisexual.
    www.transpottingtalk.blogspot.co.uk < My lovely blog all about Trans issues and stuff
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  13. #13
    Member Natasha V's Avatar
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    I am very Submissive in every way down to where my wife initiated everything when we first started dating she took over and enjoyed the fact that I was not like everyone else who always wanted sex. Sex has always been last in my mind I kind of love foreplay much more or just enjoying talking the night away with a nice ending of foreplay.

  14. #14
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Sexually, well, I was dressed as a girl and abused as a kid, spending many years being someone's private girlfriend. So I got sort of used to being the 'submissive' female partner. Unfortunately after all those years of it, the feeling of being the submissive rather than active one during sex is burned into my mind. So in order to function, I basically have to act the part of a normal guy, while my underlying feelings tell me that I should be doing the opposite. Made for all sorts of mental gymnastics necessary whenever I was having intercourse, having to do one thing, while fantasizing that I was doing something else entirely, killing the mood, and often leaving me unable to, well, complete the task at hand.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  15. #15
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I'm a gentleman but have been with a lot of women

    Since their sexualities were quite different, I acted differently also.

    Some turned me on so much I just pushed on until they wanted me to stop. Which I did, if they did. Usually, they didn't.

    Others didn't excite me as much. With them, I usually waited for a sign they were interested in that. Then, there were a few who I didn't feel like having sex with until they pushed my buttons. Which always seemed to work.

    Generally, I'm not real aggressive. With most, if they didn't respond to a sensual touch, kiss, etc., I let the sex thing it go.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  16. #16
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    Annie, yes thats me too, Ive never been a macho kinda guy and while I have my male traits, like loving sports and being kinda competitive, which some will say plenty of women are too, I have a submissive side that I know has been a part of me for a long time. So I think Ive always been kinda sensitive and some would say feminine but not to the point of having it pointed out to me but I do know what you mean, and yes it could very well be related to this CD thing.
    I also realized something is that even though its only happened a few times where I was enfem during sex or role playing I always seem more aggressive in that female role than as a man and that has always puzzled me.
    Last edited by Rachael Leigh; 02-03-2015 at 01:41 PM.

  17. #17
    Silver Member Debra Russell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dana3 View Post
    I wouldn't say so much submissive as it is the need and desire to be wanted and desired as much as I want and desire her? A mutual thing, which being the man ~ male, is largely overlooked more often than not IMHO? Why can't it be mutual rather than dominant and submissive all of the time? Why is that the male always has to be the initiator and instigator? Its a basic HUMAN charterisctic to be wanted and needed, and even desired? Who wants to be with someone that doesn't want to be with them?
    I totally feel the same way ... it's way more fulfilling that way...............................Debra

  18. #18
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    I'm not convinced that there is a connection between submission and crossdressing. Certainly there are many non-crossdressing men who are submissive. Obviously, this wouldn't be a good place to conduct a poll.

  19. #19
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    I have always felt more submissive and have even taken this further with a dominatrix. That was extremely satisfying. Whether the submissive desires have the same roots as cross dressing is not clear to me. Could be just coincidental.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dana3 View Post
    I wouldn't say so much submissive as it is the need and desire to be wanted and desired as much as I want and desire her? A mutual thing, which being the man ~ male, is largely overlooked more often than not IMHO? Why can't it be mutual rather than dominant and submissive all of the time? Why is that the male always has to be the initiator and instigator? Its a basic HUMAN charterisctic to be wanted and needed, and even desired? Who wants to be with someone that doesn't want to be with them?
    EXACTLY. What a perfect way to put it.

  21. #21
    Senior Member Adelaide's Avatar
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    I definitely want to be loved, cuddled and touched more now that ever before....I find myself to be more feminine and more sensitive. Unfortunately, my S.O. has issues with that...Could my hormones be working here?

  22. #22
    Silver Member Kandi Robbins's Avatar
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    Once I self-accepted and then told my wife (she immediately said she only wanted me to be happy, true unconditional love), I became a completely different person. Previously I was closed off, always loving my family, but never openly showing it. My wife and I had not been intimate (both physically and emotionally) for probably 20 years. Now we are like teenagers and I have completely opened up to her and everyone around me. My daughter, who lives in North Carolina (we're in Ohio) texted my wife wondering of something was wrong with me because I have been so happy. She's not even around me daily. Dramatically noticeable changes. To answer the question posed here, I am solidly heterosexual, but am more closely aligned with a woman's view of the world. I am softer, more gentle, more loving, much more talkative, love just lying in bed with my wife talking and holding each other, telling her how I feel. I would NEVER have done that before. I am probably more submissive now. I cannot even express the great joy I now find in life. All because one day in November, while driving alone, I said out loud to myself "I am a crossdresser."
    Visit Kandi's Land (http://www.kandis-land.com/) daily! Nothing but positive and uplifting posts!
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  23. #23
    Silver Member justmetoo's Avatar
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    I'm asexual, but do enjoy occasional cuddling and some sensual nonsexual intimacy (or did when I was in a relationship). I wouldn't say I'm submissive, but I'm certainly not dominant or stereotypically "manly" when it comes to physical intimacy.

  24. #24
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    I wouldn't classify myself as a submissive, but more of a switch. Sometimes I'm a top, sometimes I feel like a bottom. However, my SO has trouble engaging as a top, which is disappointing. But, I accept her for he she is as she does me.

  25. #25
    Member SharonDenise's Avatar
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    I also prefer the company of women over men. I was never good at sports so unlike most males, I have little interest in following most team sports. I've worked in elementary education all my life which is mainly a female profession. I've always felt submissive. I wish that the roles would have been reversed in the best seller, "Fifty Shades of Gray". I would have enjoyed it so much more.

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