Singles - does CDing affect your desire to date?

[katem]

So I've thought about this question a lot, and figured I would share it with everyone. For those who are single, does your CDing affect your desire to date women?

When I look back on myself, I've never even dated a girl very long term (6 months max). Sometimes dating interferes with dressing, but not so much. In fact I had basically no sex for almost a year when I was dressing at my high point (2-3x a week, fully shaved!). The weird part is that I never really have much of a desire to date women (I am attracted to women and am very much hetero), most of the time it's situations that just sort of happen.

I've also noticed that as time goes on, it seems like my attraction to other CD's has grown. I am not attracted to men whatsoever but for some reason a CD seems to turn me on (with myself dressed, also, maybe it's because we can relate). I've been on/off with this girl for a few months now, but we're broken up now and I honestly have zero motivation to hit the dating scene. Maybe I need to "date" my girly side more? Any thoughts?

[marilyn m]

would like to date again , but iam only attracted to glammed up women or convincing
glammed up trans girls, more turned on by the glamour lol either on them or myself lol

[Alice Torn]

I was surprised there are so few singles on here, kind of like so few singles in the church i was in! At age 60 1/2, and low income, with troublesome old car, I now realize i have nothing to offer a lady. I tried since about age 27, did do some dating, mainly in the church organization i was in then, but some outside of it, and came close to marrying a woman 13 yr older, who had two daughters. But, after a yr of long distance dating, i, realized i could not support, and provide housing, and broke it off. That was all before i started dressing. Since then, a few dates, but none, for five years now. Many women i told about my dressing, , were totally turned off, and gone! Since i moved back to near Rockford, Illinois, from Seattle area, every woman i have talked to and asked if she was single, has told me she is married, or has a boyfriend, or living with a guy. Not one, said she was not seeing someone. I am pretty much resigned that i am alone for life. I must say, that i have had many male "admirers" very interested in meeting Alice, a few even talking marriage to me! But, not one female .

[marilyn m]

sorry to hear that alice it seems it is difficult to manage relationships,
dont know what the answer is really , been married twice 8 yrs and 17 yrs so getting better lol
they cant handle marilyn lol

[Alice Torn]

Marylin, Two marriages , and now single? For many women, their male interest dressing up as a woman does, and often, is a huge deal breaker issue, but some are willing to DADT, and a few actually like having a man and lady to go out with. I have only met one divorced lady, who seemed somewhat tolerant. I don't think she is looking to settle down again, though. Maybe it is best to be single , in these times?!

[marilyn m]

yes i think single life is better maybe dating just having fun,
its hard to keep secrets, i have put my head on the block twice too often, lol

[Genifer Teal]

I am single. I will say I've had a lot more interest in me over the years than one might expect. I think many under estimate their opportunities. Granted, it all depends on who you are and how comfortable you are with that. As for me, it may best be summed up in a comment I remember from the TV show scrubs. "You are like a convenience store, always open and you never close". In other words, I have no trouble meeting and conversing with people. I have trouble making the final connection. Whatever the reason, I am single. I can only blame myself and my actions. It has little to do with my gender, perceived or otherwise.

[Paula_Femme]

I'm boringly straight, in my mid 50's and have been 'dressing since my early 20's. The only problem I've had, when looking for a "serious" relationship, is finding a Woman who accepts "all" of me... so no, my desire to date has never been affected by my 'dressing.

[Closeted Kat]

As a person who is very shy, and not even managing to get up the courage to ask someone out but perhaps twice of which both times only to find out they had just entered into a relationship with someone else, it has taken me forever to get back the courage to pursue anyone. Since i've begun dressing within the last year at first i felt like this "secret" might make it harder for me to find someone when i get the courage up to try again. But actually its kind of helped me become more in touch with myself, and having found this forum has increased my courage and self esteem. At this point i'm thinking that i'm happy with who i am and if someone can like me for "all" of me i'll be happy with that. If they can't then perhaps we can still be friends. least that's my story.
-kat

[ReineD]

Maybe I need to "date" my girly side more? Any thoughts?

Maybe you should.


Not everyone is meant to be in a relationship.

[Adriana Moretti]

Good question.....I have no desire to date women either...i like them, but i find them annoying and needy. I am also bi....and lately have been either dating men...or the coolest people to date...other crossdressers. A word of advice if you plan on dating another crossdresser. Be prepared to see, and hang out with them in drab.....if you can accept that person as is you will have something real. Without it..its just a fantasy.

[Brandy Mathews]

Paula,
I am the same but 40. I really like dating women, but like you said, it is so hard finding a good woman that accepts dressing. Tose that have a oman like that are so darn lucky. I had a woman like that years ago and it was so nice. Went shopping together, did each others nails, even exchanged clothes. I loved it when we were out and she would say that she wanted to see Bree. That made me smile. Miss those days so much.
Bree

[docrobbysherry]

I'm single and on a dating website. I would like to find the female companionship I had gotten used to before I started dressing at age 50+.

Oh, I'm arrow straight. However, I'm so busy with Sherry's antics and socializing with other dressers, I don't feel motivated to check out the GG women online.

And, I'm not sure I'm willing to trade female companionship for my currently active sex life!

[Allisa]

No, my desire is still there, only now it doesn't have to be for sex, I enjoy the company of women as my male self, if and when a relationship is on the horizon I feel it best to inform them of my femme self and let the chips fall where they may. I do have a few women that stayed friendly and we enjoy our time together. But I have learned to be single and happy, I guess I'm not the marrying type.

[grace7777]

When I am not working, and am out in public, I tend to be dressed en femme. Because of this I do not see dating women as an option, since most women would view dating me as dating another woman. Right now I also have no desire to date, and I am not going to give up being who I am so I can date.

Also, before I started dressing en femme I was not dating either. So to me the bigger sacrifice would be to date than to not date.. I would also add that I have no desire to date males.

[sometimes_miss]

I guess it does, because I do get frustrated at finding someone nice to date, then finding out their view on crossdressing, then breaking it off because I know it's never going to get any better. Rinse, repeat.

[Lynn Marie]

With me, age and experience are working together to discourage me from actively looking for a partner. I feel that I'm just not willing to hand over my leash to anyone, especially women who have their own agenda. Even the very best of them seem to bring lots of baggage into the relationship. Don't get me wrong, I love women dearly, just not willing to give up my freedom without a fight!

[soccer1986]

Hi, I am straight, single and looking. I don't think dressing has changed my desire to date in fact I would love to meet a girl that is into it, I know it is hard but they are out there. Being in my late 20s I still want a family and I feel that cding has changed me for the good.
Personally I am good at making friends and talking to people but being short has its downside, many girls don't see you as boyfriend material. I am on dating website but not many girls answer back. I am still hopeful of finding my other half someday.

[JeanetteX]

I am straight and single too. I have never been in a long term relationship, just a few short ones. I suppose my dressing has always kept me away from a relationship as I would never give up the freedom that I have of being able to dress whenever I want. My desire to date has become much less over the years. Being a CD plays a big part in that but as I grow older I think the age thing also starts to count. I am feeling happy now though, so I'm not complaining

[marilyn m]

thats a good point adriana, women are very insecure, you have to constantly, reasure them they look great
normally end up giving them advice on hair and makeup, they have been jelous of my legs and full lips believe it or not lol
anyway why should women have all the fun, x

[Lorileah]

really? Insecure? Needy? Need advice on makeup? You gonna be alone a looooong time.

Insecure? Have you READ these boards? The TG community is far and away the most insecure, needy bunch of people I ever saw

And I call BS on a woman asking a T about makeup. Every time I hear that and meet the T she could use lessons herself.

What fantasy world do you live in?

[Jessie James]

I've never been in a relationship, serious or otherwise even before I started dressing. I've had a few times where family members tried to set me up with someone but I wasn't interested in the prospective candidates, like at all. Some people just don't understand that one can be 'alone' without being lonely.

The way I see it is, if I find someone, great! If not, that's okay too.

Jessie~☆

[Tracii G]

No because I don't have any desire to date women.
I have been married twice and have learned my lesson.

[Zeldamoonflower]

Yeah It' like coming out about your cding t a stranger.