The fight is getting ugly.

[Rachel Smith]

My divorce was without young children but when we were in family court to get me alimony her lawyer said to the judge, a lady, and I quote, "you really think she should have to help "that" with support any longer" as he looked at me. The judge didn't even flinch but acted like he didn't utter a word. Then she ruled in my favor.

Much success to you Diane.

Hugs
Rachel

[giuseppina]

Hello Diane

I'm not a lawyer but, it appears you have case law on your side. It would also help if someone like a licensed social worker or psychiatrist could be sworn in as an expert witness to testify on your behalf. The courts depend on expert testimony in cases like yours.

It's up to you, but I think running any correspondence to your ex or her lawyer by your lawyer to make sure you don't say anything that might damage your case is a good idea. If you do, you can be sure she and her lawyer will pounce and use it against you.

I somehow doubt the judge will be amused if allegations are made in court or in correspondence without hard evidence to prove them. It looks to me she is a bully and trying to intimidate you.

I wish you well.

[Diane Lynn]

Hi Dianne, I did not through all the other comments, and just skipped to comment. The court does not care what you do or spend yur money on. The do not care what sex you are. They only care about what is best for your kids. The problem is, they do not know. My ex tried the transgender part, the court didn't care. Then she claimed I was a child abuser, child molestor, drug addict, all unproven and based on no fact. She did a number on the kids. My youngest daughter turns 18 on March 1, and That b***h has not let me see my kids since 2011, and I have not been able to do anything about it.

[Amanda M]

Diane - stay strong! Always though, never communicate anything to the oppopsition, except through your lawyer!

[Dianne S]

Thanks to all who responded. My reaction so far has been to unilaterally impose the parenting schedule that my children have asked for... one week with me and one with my wife. I was tired of letting her dictate everything.

So far, it has been working but each week I wait for some bombshell from her lawyer. For now, though, my kids are getting the schedule they want and that's all I care about.

[Kris Avery]

Dianne,

The good news (speaking from experience 10 years later) is that no matter your gender or presentation, you will ALWAYS be the 'bad guy' in not only your ex'es eyes, but also in your children.
There is a thing called parental alienation syndrome that is a very real thing....without the gender aspect. I can speak to both and how negative it can be in a divorce situation.

That said, I am happily remarried and am working through issues with a committed spouse who WANTS to make it work, even with me on HRT.

[Dianne S]

Hi, Wendy. I will never be the "bad guy" in the eyes of my children. They love me, say they want a 50/50 parenting plan and are not swayed by my ex. I am absolutely thankful for that. For sure, I'm the evil one in the eyes of my ex, but that I can live with.

I never say anything negative to my children about my wife. I don't want to be involved in that kind of nastiness.

[Sammy777]

As long as you keep doing exactly what you're doing you should be just fine.
When one side [you] is fully approving of whatever schedule the children wish without question or restriction the courts will/do take notice. Especially considering the older ages, 13 and 17 of the children involved.

Any moves and/or tactics, under any guise, by your wife or her attorney to curb your time with your children, especially when it goes against their wishes, will be seen as the obvious ploys of a petty and vengeful spouse by the courts.

[Ally 2112]

I just do not understand why the kids are the center of so many divorce issues .I think in most situations it is just used to hurt the other spouse and in the end it just hurts the kids .I also realize Dianne your is a differnt situation you are still their parent .I hope all the best for you