things that have surprised me about cross dressing

[Kandi Robbins]

I found out a few things myself:
1-Shaving legs is actually kind of fun, and I now understand why I often notice GG's running their hands on their legs...it feels fabulous!
7-Yoga pants are super comfy!

Couldn't agree more about shaved legs, the single best thing I have ever done to/for myself.
I, too, have become hooked on yoga pants, wear them around the house now instead of my sweats.

[HollySmtms]

I am surprised at how things in life that used to bother, annoy, aggravate me do so much less now...managing these feelings clearly spilled over. I am more easy going, patient, in all aspects of my life now that I am being more myself.

And I totes agree about the wonder of shaved legs, that was a most PLEASANT surprise.

[Jackie7]

A wonderful surprise for us both has been how much fun it is to step out on the town, either as two hot old broads or both crossdressed.

Also she loves that I totally get how long it takes to get ready.

[Khora]

1. Being a girl is hard work.
2. Being a girl is expensive.
3. Girls have so many more choices in clothing than guys do.
4. OMG YOGA PANTS ARE THE GREATEST THING EVER

[Allison Chaynes]

I have been surprised at my wife's ability to become accepting over the years. And:

-how often she steals my clothes
-how awesome it's made the love life
-how much better I understand her, and feel closer to her
-how it has helped me deal with the emotional side of the relationship and communicate much better

[DebbieL]

Welshgirl - you lucky girl!
This board is filled with many happy and wonderful stories of SOs who accepted and loved their spouses as well as many painful and unpleasant experiences of SOs who rejected them.

I've had both experiences, my first fiance dropped me like a hot potato when she realized I might want to wear pantyhose. On the flip side, my second wife knew before we actually met (we met on match.com and her poke was "dude, you're wearing a dress, what's that about?". I sent her a response via e-mail and gave her my phone number if she was still interested. We've been married 10 years now, and I transitioned about 4 years ago and we are more in love with each other than ever.

I've been CDing since I was about 6, started when I was playing with the girls after school. Like girls do at that age, we started trading clothes and they decided to put me into a pretty dress. We all giggled and had fun with it, until her mother saw me and freaked out so badly she called the school board, the principal, the teacher, and most of the parents on the PTA. When I was forced to play with boys I got seriously injured - often 3-5 times a day.

Having lost my girl friends, I found myself trying on some of my mom's clothes. After a few months I was caught, but she was understanding and kind. Dad assumed it was a phase, and even admitted that he was very feminine. When they found out in 1961 that the treatment for people like me was shock, torture, and lobotomy, they did their best to ignore it, and make sure I didn't tell anyone, even the many shrinks I had to see later (post traumatic stress of all those beatings by the boys).

When I was 10, my mom realized I was still dressing when she found my stash. She was mad that I was STEALING her clothes. When I pointed out that I couldn't exactly go out and BUY them for myself, she started taking me shopping with her. She loved my fashion advice and even started dressing more like a woman of the 60s rather than a woman of the 50s. She got a wig to cover a bad hair-do (which she only wore for a week), and she set up a "good-will bag" - which I was allowed to pick from if there was anything I wanted. By the time I was 13, I was a very pretty girl. I had 40 inch hips, 28 inch waist, and 38 inch chest - with even a little stuffing, I looked very pretty.

I also ended up being "older sister" to my sister. I could brush her hair without hurting her so she could grow it longer, I helped her shop, I even taught her how to use make-up and painted her nails for her. I taught her posture, grace, and some exercises to help her keep her figure.

Growing up was confusing, I'd get beat up for being a "Sissy", or "Fairy" or the other nasty names they call boys who are too feminine. Gay men knew that I wasn't gay because I was feminine, but not effeminate. Women realized it to, but didn't know why I was so feminine. They would often tell me how much they hated that I had longer eyelashes, wider hips, a small waist, and long shapely legs.

When puberty finally hit, it was strange, I grew facial hair, but it was very patchy. I had hair on my legs and arms, but nothing anywhere else. My singing voice changed to bass, which made me almost suicidal, but my speaking voice was high, a bit like Jim Neighbors (Gomer Pyle). Though my testes dropped from way inside, everything remained freakishly small, to the delight of the boys who saw me in the showers at gym.

Several of my girl-friends (romantic) realized that I didn't respond like a man, that I didn't like it when they touched me, but that I was more than happy to please them. As a result, I became a "lesbian lover" for several years, from 15 to 21, I was a virgin - from the waist down. When I was told that if you were a boy and fantasized sex with a girl you were straight, if you fantasized sex with a boy you were gay, but my fantasies were always with me as a girl being seduced by a girl, with her in charge. When people would ask "are you gay?", I'd answer truthfully "yep, I'm a lesbian". They thought I was joking.

I told my first wife before we got married. Three weeks after we moved in together, I had done something she wanted a great deal, and she asked what I wanted, so I told her I liked to "dress up". She seemed to accept it, so I decided to marry her. I didn't find out until 12 years later that she had never accepted it and had hoped I would "grow out of it".

I was confused for years, often trying to settle for just being a cross-dresser, but deep down knowing my ultimate fantasy was to be a beautiful young woman. When it was clear that my marriage was on the rocks, and my wife started having an affair, I came out publicly, and got transition therapy. I was on the road to transition when I was given the ultimatum of "stop transition or you will never see or talk to your kids again" - but she still wanted the child support.

By the time I met Lee, I knew I was transgender, and I wanted to be honest about it. I put pictures of me as both boy and girl on my match.com profile and Lee checked me out. When she showed her daughter my profile, her daughter said "well mom, at least you don't have to worry about bruising his fragile male ego when you take charge". When Lee told me that, I knew I wanted to meet her. We talked for 2 weeks, finally met for our first date and hit it off immediately. As you have discovered, Lee loved my sensuality, my awareness of sensations, my lack of rush to get to the "good part", and my willingness to take as much time as she wanted to do what she liked most. When we got married, we even discussed doing it in late October so I could be the bride, but decided to go more traditional.

When I did start thinking seriously about transition, she balked at first, but once we had a chance to talk together and with a therapist, we started to explore it, and she could quickly see that I was so much happier as Debbie. Since then, I have been accepted by her family, our church, my coworkers, and pretty much everyone else.

I thought I did a great job of keeping my secret, because I never actually told anyone other than my parents until I told Leslie when I was 25. At my college and high school reunions, I came as Debbie, and nearly every woman smiled and said "I KNEW IT", and were so happy that I had finally had the courage to be who I really was. I guess I didn't really hide it that well.

I didn't realize until I started reading books about transgender people, especially books by Karin Bishop, that I was constantly giving myself away. How I sat, how I crossed my legs, how I held my school books, how I wore my hair, how I walked, how I talked, how I reacted when I got upset, all feminine, with almost no masculine. The boys teased me because I threw like a girl and cried like a girl, and beat me because I acted like a girl. Where did all that hatred of girls come from? Did they bring that hatred to their marriages?

You have found a treasure, hold him dear, it took more courage than you could imagine to tell you about himself. He may not have told you everything, or he may want to explore with you. You have probably already discovered that by accepting him, his love for you has grown beyond anything you could have imagined.

[Kate T]

Another thing for the list - I have been truly surprised by how many CDers say that they feel much more relaxed, calm, serene and other similar descriptions when they have the chance to dress. That must feel very special!

I think what surprises me most is that every so often someone comes along whose understanding and empathy seem to know no bounds.

Welsh girl you are a treasure beyond value. Thank you.

[Welshgirl]

Adina - thank you very much! I just treat people the way I would like to be treated, and hope that others will do the same for me.

Debbie - thank you so much for sharing your story. I know it is not pleasant to go raking through past hurts, but thankfully you have found both a way to be at peace in yourself, and a loving wife to share with. I feel deeply honoured that my husband has chosen to share this with me so fully, and I only wish that more partners could stop being so judgmental and realise that this man that they love is still the same person no matter what he is wearing.

Sometimes it seems like men who dress as women are the greatest pariahs that society could create - they face all kinds of injustices and judgements, simply because the way that they wish to express themselves is different to the way that society has said that they should. When I am thinking about this for Pamela, I am torn between supporting his (Pamela's choice of pronoun) right to go out wearing whatever feels good, and protecting his personal and professional reputation. It is not an easy balancing act, especially as Pamela is much more 'gung ho' about the whole thing that I am. Dressing at home is another thing - that only stops during the visits of a very small number of people, who are less likely to be understanding of what they see.

I want to get to the end of my days and be able to say to myself, 'yes, I did everything I could to support the people I love', rather than getting there and thinking to myself thank goodness I had followed the rules that I thought society had laid down, no matter what the consequence on those around me.

I have a FtM daughter who has a FtM partner, and a CD husband, all of whom I adore and support in every way possible. What kind of person would I be if I turned my back on them because a prejudiced society says that their choices are not 'normal'?

[Teresa]

Welshgirl,
I thing I enjoy most is the feelings my legs give me when wearing stockings and seeing a nice pair of heels !
A while ago I posted a thread asking the most enjoyable thing about Cding at the time I was sitting by on open fire with the warm glow shining across my stockings, it looked and felt so good !

I guess your attitude will be more accepting as you have come to understand and accept your own children going through gender issues ! I still ask the the question what is there to fear, it's better to become a happy whole person than a miserable inbetweener !!

[Lynn Marie]

Welshgirl, you are a rare find. I pronounce you an honorary Crossdresser! You've definitely crossed over into virgin territory previously only occupied by boys like us who have squelched our fears and learned to accept life enjoyed a little differently. In boy mode, I take my Stetson off to you.

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Thank you, welsh girl, for the reminder that there is hope in the gg world that we who are cds are not sick.

[Claire Cook]

I think the biggest surprise for me has been how easy it is to talk with other women and how at ease they seem to be with me. Just the other day Sue and I were having our nails and brows done. Norma knew me as a guy (I get my haircuts there) but had never met Claire. While chatting while my nails were drying, she said "You know, this is just like talking to another woman." She could not have paid me a nicer compliment (needless to day we gave her a good tip!)

It's funny, but before I started dressing on a serious basis I never felt totally at ease talking with women. Now even in drab I seem to connect with them, it's like we are sharing more.

Welshgirl, wonderful thread and your husband is one lucky guy!

[Welshgirl]

Thank you so much for your welcomes to the forum, and for all sharing the delights and trials and tribulations of becoming such lovely ladies! If there is ever anything I can do to help, you know you only have to ask.

[giuseppina]

You're a gem, Welshgirl.

Somebody taught you (or you came to the conclusion yourself) that bigotry and prejudice do far more harm than good.

[JessicaMann]

I have always found it easier to chat with women then men. I guess we just relate better???