Do you feel lonely in the closet?

[JessicaMann]

I do get lonely!!! I love dressing, and as I don't make for a very convincing woman, I feel TRAPPED!!! it's a double edged sword!! I can dress and feel complete, but what con I do??? I am afraid friends, family, and or neighbors will see me!! so I hide inside!! or I could wear what I'm "expected" to and interact with everyone?????? I would love to find a local, discrete place where I could be Jessica and be with accepting people!!!!

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Michelle,
Although I am "out" to my SO. All that really accomplished was
making the closet a bit larger ( and being able to hang my stuff in it).
I still find that after being out in public a few times, I still have that closeted
feeling. Sure I've had interaction with others (strangers), but none of them know
my real identity.
For me, getting out of the closet means more than that, it's allowing myself to let
people know the real me. Am I ready for a boy/girl pic post? No not yet, but to be completely
uncloseted, someday.
If your mom knows, and is willing to talk with you, be honest with her and talk.
Maybe she can arrange more time away from home to allow you more privacy.
Don't push to get out, that will happen when the time is right.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[immike]

Michelle-That's my name,as well(wink) I definitely must stay in the closet,my dressing is in secret,only because I use my mothers clothes.I only use her dresses,skirts
all her silky soft blouses&tops,all of her business wardrobe,like her good pantsuits&skirtsuits&her growing closetful of heels&boots&shoes.Fortunately,we are about
the same size,so I can get away with dressing up when she leaves for work in the morning.I order pantyhose&silky undies&bras online,so I have a private stash&I just
slide into beige pantyhose daily&dress randomly in one of her outfits&a pair of her heels.I am petrified of being caught by her,or 2 sisters,so I lock all doors&close the
blinds each day

[Helen_Highwater]

but her opinion is that everything is a choice, and we should all choose to conform to the norm.

Genny, and sorry this is just me being pedantic, to choose to be the norm isn't a choice, a bit like you can have it in any colour as long as it's black.

And as for me being in the closet and lonely, again I'm a yes/no'er.

No: If I get time home alone then I tend to dress without makeup 98% of the time so don't have the added pressure of cleaning up. Plus the only person to see it would be Mrs Mirror. What I do find is that I can get bored as having done all the necessary household chores, ate lunch, spent a bit of time here, I'm just sitting with little or nothing to do. I'm not bored with dressing just with being confined to the house but not lonely. I would experience the same if in drab.

Yes: There are times when it would be wonderful to share this pastime with other kindred spirits and this is something I'm hoping to do within the next few weeks, a first for me. However I will, if all goes to plan, still be in the closet to family and friends.

I strongly suspect however that were it not for this forum and the wider web, photo sharing etc., loneliness and feelings of isolation would be much more to the front.

[Lily Catherine]

Perhaps I am the textbook introvert – the one who wants to be alone but not lonely, though I hate that term's guts. One of the better parts of dressing is being truly alone and devoid of any obligation. That again being said, I haven't really had much of a social stigma beyond my friends treating it as an oddity and my parents telling me never to dress for the sheer sake of it. I still have an irrational fear of being caught (and it is nothing remotely fetishistic) in the act because, simply put, of the repercussions.

I accept my being in the closet (for now) out of professional stigma. I don't know if that's going to change down the road when I resume my full-time studies again, but I've been trying to come to terms with the closet doors being shut.

[Sarah-RT]

Helen you have it down to a T, I dress without makeup at home too but that's just to save time but I get bored of the surroundings quickly and easily , less so in drab but that's because I'm not trying to be expressive.

The problem I find is that when drab I could go outside and find somewhere or something to do where as en femme it's almost like being in prison

[ophelia]

I am lucky to be close enough to other large enough cities like Montreal and Kingston where Ophelia can roam fairly freely. I managed my "femme freedom days" out of town.
I do occasionally dress in town and to be honest part of the attraction is the fear that I might "leave the closet door open" and get caught.
I am seeking discrete GG friends in those cities, but the closet door in that case would only be open a crack.

[RachelCross]

I do feel lonely sometimes, but this forum helps out a lot. I have shared Rachel with my best friend since high school. He's gay and is completely supportive so it helps. The down side, he is two hours away and has never met Rachel although he has seen pictures and has given me positive feedback. Without that, I'm not sure how I would feel. I am married but am afraid of the day my SO finds out, if ever. I just hope when/if she does I am comfortable enough with myself to withstand what comes next, whatever that may be. I am curious about going to an event and my friend and I have discussed getting together for dinner so he could meet Rachel. He's offered to cook me dinner, so a girl has to take advantage of that!! I am a bit of a loner, or I should say, I am comfortable with it. I would LOVE to have a girlfriend to dress with, go shopping with but have no idea how to initiate that.

Just my two cents, if I don't have more than 3 hours to dress I forego the makeup, I just make sure I'm clean shaven and put on false eyelashes and some lipstick. It's quite amazing how a pair of false eyelashes can soften my look. I then put on a cute dress and heels that can come off quickly and go about my day. Each girl is different but hope this helps.

[Stephanie47]

My answer is "yes and no." There is a difference between "sharing" cross dressing with someone else and having sufficient time to express oneself. I went through a lot of what you are experiencing as a teenager. Living at home with two parents, a brother and sister in a small apartment is the pits. Not just because of cross dressing urges, but, just because there was no privacy-period. Even after marriage and kids there was not too much time afforded to be en femme. That resulted in therapy days off from work when my wife was working and the kids were in school. It was indeed very stressful to grab a few crumbs of time.

Now I am retired with a working wife. Most days I have six to seven hours to be en femme. I forego the makeup. After all most women do not wear makeup around the home while doing chores, so why should I? I usually have a productive day doing what I would have done en drab: laundry, ironing, vacuuming, baking, etc.

My wife is not supportive of cross dressing, so I do not dress in front of her. She told me decades ago to join a support group if I felt the need. I have no desire to just go out en femme because of my physical size. I dress for stress relief. It is good therapy to "run away" from my male side. If I went out and ran into stares and criticism it would defeat my purpose for being en femme.

If you have your own space at home and since your mother is aware of your cross dressing, just schedule your own private time in your room. I'm sure your mother will respect your privacy. Also, forgo the eye makeup. It is too much of a bother and takes too long to get off. Stick with lipstick and light rouge.

You may want to try to locate a support group.

[SharonDenise]

For forty plus years I shared my secret with my wife. I told her while we were still dating and she accepted my cross dressing and gave me her support. I thank and loved my wife for being so accepting. However, it was a secret between her and me. At first, I had no desire to come out of the closet and was content to dress up at home when the situation allowed it. I've always been able to underdress. As the years went by, I felt the desire to want to go out dressed en femme but never did as I was afraid of what would happen if I was discovered. I don't think my wife would have gone for it either. Since my wife's passing last year, I joined a cross dresser support group and this forum. I now go to their meetings and social activities dressed en femme. I feel that I've taken steps towards going en femme in public but still hide it from most family and friends. I'm not a Susan B. Anthony, willing to carry a banner to further our cause for public acceptance. Fortunately, there are others out there willing to do just that.

[Khora]

Yes I feel very much alone in this right now. I've never really had anybody in my life that I could share this with so it's always been just me on my own. I've actually found that this sometimes kills my motivation to actually dress and explore further. Not having anybody to share it with sometimes takes the fun out of it.