wht if they find out?

[Frenchy Michelle]

Hi there,

I notice that when I am female my whole body language instantly changes to the point I am sometimes quite surprized at the way I cross my ankles when standing up and leaning on a chair, my finger lifting up when I drink a cup, and all kinds of little gestures which are new and which I subconsciously do. I become a totally different person from who I was when I am dressed as a man. I guess most of you have been there. What I am wary of is this: what if that body language pops up unaware when I am back to being a guy at work? It scares me... have you had any experience with that?

[Lily Catherine]

Done that (subconsciously), been there, nobody really cared (except of course my parents). Even in guy mode, I have adopted some apparently feminine mannerisms (especially holding my bags and double crossing my legs) without giving so much a d*mn to how I look.

[kimdl93]

All of those mannerism are present in men as well and frankly, no one is scrutinizing me to determine your gender.

[Kate Simmons]

What exactly do you think would happen if they did?

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Michelle, I some times catch myself using feminine mannerisms in male mood.

[ophelia]

I don't think it's anything you can't joke your way out of. If you slip up a bit and life throws you an avocado ...make some guacamole!

[Teresa]

Frenchy,
It depends what line of work you're in !
I was a professional photographer for thirty years if I had to get someone to pose in a certain way it was often easier to show them ! Most GGs have to be shown how to stand elegantly ! Sometimes I will take up a pose not thinking or rest on my arm in a feminine way, it doesn't bother me and really don't care what other people think !

[Beverley Sims]

My body language has always been the same, crossed legs all the time, talking with my hands and walking to some extent.

I have learned to cover extreme mannerisms and have never been picked for them.

[Sarasometimes]

Depends on who notices and how they behave in general. I know when I'm around my homophobic ignorant co-workers they are brutal. I just "What the hell are you talking about, go do something!" Can't sweat the small stuff.

[sometimes_miss]

<snip>what if that body language pops up unaware when I am back to being a guy at work? It scares me... have you had any experience with that?

This happened to me back in my early 20's; through my teens, my insecurities had always made me adapt myself to behave like the people around me, to the point of adding in words and speech styles, and mannerisms. So when I started working with all young women, I unconsciously adopted some of their behavior patterns. Being poor with little cash, and having always been an information junkie, I always read everything I could get my hands on. So when on break during work, I could be seen sitting on a leg folded up under me on the chair, leafing through Cosmo, Glamour, etc., playing with my (at the time) long hair the way girls do. Even started filing my nails into a more feminine rounded shape instead of what you find on men. Yeah, they noticed. One of them brought it up. I stopped.

[Isabella Ross]

I've caught myself using feminine gestures like this while in drab for most of my adult life. Sometimes somebody seems to catch it, but nobody has ever called me on it. I think.

[Sarah-RT]

Michelle I get that fear all the time, probably over thinking it but I sometimes think I'm standing in a feminine way and adopt a masculine body guard pose to lose suspicion that probably was never there.

I do notice however that when I'm standing by a table or say the oven that I bend 1 leg at the knee which I think is similar to how girls pose for photos, never seen another guy do it but Ive always done it un deliberately.

While waiting on the bus home from college I try to study the mannerisms of the girls nearby so when dressed I know when to cross legs or what to do with my arms

[reb.femme]

My work place is a very male orientated environment, in which I have no problems existing with nicely plucked eyebrows. No one has ever asked me about them but plenty have looked. Plus, I've often shaved my arms and hands and not a word. I find my work colleagues enjoy the more 'over the top', kind of camp walk etc of standard comedy routines, to pick on. If I did such a walk, one guy would always yell, "you do that too well and too easily". Keeps 'em guessing .

Rebecca

[Katey888]

Maybe this is just easier for me as I'm down the lower end of the CD-TG-TS curve... but I find that it's the transformation that triggers the gestures so all the little cues of earrings, hair... oh... and sweating through an hour or so of applying make up and just knowing I'm in heels and wearing a bra.. even after all that my biggest issue is having my genetic guy gestures and posture sneak through...

The only thing that has developed with me over recent time is a greater tendency to use expressive hand gestures, but that isn't exclusively female - although a little more flamboyancy does tend to look a little 'camp' and theatrical... can't say that anyone has ever noticed or commented though, but with no earrings to play with, nails to admire, hair to flick or nylons to rearrange, the less subtle giveaways are mercifully absent... (now if I could just repress the guy 'boxer pluck' in girl mode, I'd be fine..)

Katey x

[marilyn m]

as iam getting older the gestures or the way i stand are crossing over into male role, lol
i had a jibe, from a co worker, thats a nice way of standing he said bloody cheek lol
sometimes my wrists get a bit loose, and then kylie comes on the radio and all the dance moves come out
when nobodys about of course lol

[Allisa]

I need a stimulus to bring on femme gestures so when not dressed femme my gestures are that of a male, only one thing carries over, I smile more and without provocation.

[Kate T]

Short answer is unlikely.

Most people subconsciously search for gender markers when they first meet someone. The primary gender markers searched for (and there is actual research on this) facial hair, voice timbre, hair length. Secondary markers are principally body shape (though depending on closeness of contact body shape can be a primary marker e.g. if initial contact is at a distance) and clothes / jewellery. Gestures / mannerisms are only tertiary markers of gender identification except for women who will attach more significance to gestures when determining someones gender though if the primary gender markers are of one gender (i.e. male) and the gestures / mannerisms are of the opposite gender (e.g. feminine hand positions etc. in a male) then the onlooker is more likely to attribute those markers to sexuality than to gender.

So short answer is if any of your workmates even notice then they probably will just assume you are gay rather than transgender identified.

[MissTee]

In my early days of dressings I did do some exaggerated hand gestures. Anymore, the changes happen on the inside and not the outside.

[lynda]

hi frenchy, I act the same all the time,in guy or girl mode, ive always been a little girly in my body language, so if anyone dose not like screw em, hugs lynda

[LexiNexi]

I just always sit like a girl, make my self small, put my feet close together or ankles crossed, shoulders back. no one says anything...