Triangles closure

[Julia Welch]

Triangles Café and Bar in Danbury CT closed this past weekend ... Tiffanys CD/TG party was the last event.

I have no idea why it closed.

[Brandy Mathews]

Julia,
So sorry, sounds like you had fun there.
Hugs,
Bree

[flatlander_48]

Over the last several years, it seems like more and more gay bars are closing or changing their customer focus. We've talked about this during our affinity group meetings. The most logical suggestion to me was that as folks feel more open about going to mainstream establishments, there is less of a need to patronize a venue that caters to LGBT clientele. Not sure if that is what happened in this case, but it is plausible.

DeeAnn

[Darla]

Bummer - I lived so close but never got up the courage to go there. Now I guess I'll never get the chance....

Oh well. Maybe think of starting one up?

[Adriana Moretti]

yes....this is sad news however the party will not end ! I was lucky enough to attend the final party ( see pic below) . Tiffany WILL keep the tradition going and is searching for a new venue as we speak! Here is a closing statement she made, in the meantime..Tri-state girls....you have Keystone next month, Raven april 10-11 and the Femme Fever Ball April 18th....most of the Triangles crew will be invading these events.


This is a long post but there’s a lot to unpack.
If you don’t care to read the entire post, here are the TL;DR bulletpoints:

• Yes, it’s true: Triangles Café’s last day of business was Saturday, February 21, 2015.
• Yes, they did close the same night as my monthly TG party; this theme was the annual "Sexy Slumber Party” and turned out being the last TG event I hosted at Triangles Café.
• I was NOT aware that last Saturday 2/21 would be Triangles’ last night until informed by the staff/management midway through last Saturday’s party. Word trickled through some of the crowd, but no formal announcement was made during the evening so many patrons (including yours truly) were unaware or taken by surprise.
• The staff posted an official announcement via Facebook to the Triangles Café account shortly after the club closed for business Saturday night.
• I knew and know nothing about the reasons or backstory behind their suddenly closing. I don’t know the who’s, how’s, or why’s. I am NOT an official employee of Triangles Café, I am an ally and another partygoer just like the rest of you as far as the business side is concerned.
• No other TG-related event compared to Triangles. And no other TG-related event I am a part of in the future will EVER compare or be the same as Triangles. If you missed it you missed something wholly unique, and special, and I’m deeply sorry that you weren’t there to witness it.

• Most importantly: I DO want the monthly TG/CD events to continue. And I AM looking for alternatives as we speak.

It’s been less than 48 hours since I received the news that Triangles Café is closed. Forever. What started as a lark slowly but surely grew to become the largest and longest-running TG/CD party in the United States.

Nine years. 93 parties. Countless friends and memories.

There would never have been an ideal time to turn off the lights for the last time whether we knew it was closing in advance or not, but that doesn’t lessen the blow or soften the pain to my heart. I’m still in shock.

My very first thoughts are with Michele and the entire staff and management of Triangles Café. We may have lost our home, but they did too, as well as a livelihood. For some of them being a part of the Triangles family lasted much longer than my parties did. I hope that these days/weeks are not too harsh and I wish them success in any future endeavors.

During my run as hostess of the biggest TG event in the United States, there was no better staff and no better club than Triangles. Each and every one of them from the front door to the back – the bartenders, barbacks, shot girls, coat check, door staff - were the “secret weapon” of my party’s success. They helped build it WITH us.

We can learn by their example, and we should hope that our best friends share even an ounce of their friendliness, their professionalism, their grace – and their courage. I really can never thank them enough, I could spend the rest of my life trying, and I hope that you find it in your hearts to personally thank them too over the coming days and weeks.

There are a swirl of emotions that’s as cold and harsh as this winter. There is something known as “The Five Stages of Grief.” Well, the five stages of grief or loss exist for the places that we lose as much as they do for the people. And these five stages don’t occur in a nice orderly single-file line either. They come fast and furious and all at once: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and (not quite yet, but hopefully soon) acceptance.

All these emotions (even acceptance, begrudgingly) were put in a blender last Saturday night and poured over my head, heart, and guts, coating them with feelings and shock as soon as I heard the news. And I know that in seeing some of the comments and messages that have been posted in reaction to this bad news, that I am not alone.

I know WHY those emotions are there inside you as well as inside me. Drill down past your sadness, or hurt, or anger, and you will find FEAR. Fear that the end of Triangles Café is not just the closing of the venue or the end of my parties there, but of a potential chapter in your life.

Ten years ago, I wasn’t out yet. I was closeted, and miserable. I was still growing and learning to be Tiffany. Being trans wasn’t fully in my life every day, with every breath, like it is today. Back then, finding the time and space and reasons – and courage - to go out was difficult, if not impossible.

That was before Triangles Café. And I didn't find it - it found me, at the perfect time. That first night I attended in November 2005, something inside me saw the light and felt the warmth. And I discovered something else – HOPE. Here was a place that Tiffany started seeing the light of day.

I started the parties because I suspected that I was not the only person that wished for something constant, something safe, and something hopeful that would always be there for anyone who needed this space. Like Triangles.

So Triangles over these last nine-plus years was the constant. It was our beacon, our lighthouse in dark waters. Even if you knew you couldn’t make it every month, season – or even every year – there was comfort in the fact that it would always be there, every month, without fail. I know this better than anyone, having been in attendance for 92 of the 93 parties I hosted since 2005.

And now that light is out.

Some of us had Triangles as their only option: the only time and place to express who he/she truly was. To lose this in a heartbeat is harrowing. It is stressful, and it is terrifying.

But know that we are ALL in the same place right now. I’m there with you too. None of us are alone.

At the same time, nothing lasts forever. Life’s like that too. You never know when good times will end.

In December 2005 when I saw potential for this “one-time” meet-up to be much more than that, I never took that first party – or any of the 92 parties after that party - for granted.

Even over the years when it could have been easy to skate along and assume that Triangles was never going to close, and that I was never going to stop hosting, I tried to remind myself that every single party was special. That every single party was unique. And that every single party was a bonus, a gift. Every month that you showed up and continued to show up and grow the party in size and scope and renown was a blessing to me.

So I was always appreciative of very single person that came to Triangles, and to everyone that I saw there, met there, spoke to there. My feelings were genuine. I wished I could spend more time with you, because your stories were great to hear, and catching up for the first time or the fiftieth never got old to me. No matter if it was your first time or whether you became a familiar face.

Because being TG and committing the time, resources, and energy to attend even one of my parties in Danbury meant you made a sacrifice or series of sacrifices to be there. And for many of you, these sacrifices were not just money or a date on the calendar.

The fact that for almost a decade we created a safe, fun, and friendly space for the TG/CD community – and nurtured this space, protected this space, and turned this space into our own –is astounding. Think about it. THOUSANDS of people that identify as TG have passed through the doors of Triangles in less than a decade. All those miles traveled, all those hotel rooms booked. All those outfits, all those heels clicking on the dance floor - and all those PHOTOS!!!

I am grateful to each and every one of you that have ever attended a Triangles party. And I am humbled by the thousands that have.
I am humbled by everyone who has thanked me - for something I felt I had no choice but to share with you.
I am thankful to everyone who has ever supported this party whether in person, or in spirit.

There are too many of you to thank individually - which itself speaks volumes. Because that signifies that there are so many of us that built and grew this community over the past nine years into a powerful, unstoppable force. An amazing force that can’t and won’t be denied just because Triangles has shuttered its doors for good.

I have always said that as long as you kept coming back every month, I’d keep hosting them. That’s no lie.

Mark my words: there will ALWAYS be a future for our community, our found family. And I will continue to be a part of it.

We may have lost a home, but we can find a new one. Together. I’ll need your help and your courage. Because in this new chapter, the shape and form of a future party or event may take different forms.

I would love future events to be the exact same experience no matter where we land. Nothing will ever replicate Triangles, but I’m confident they can be a kindred spirit, regardless of location, or when they occur, or how.

Because YOU are what made these parties glow. It hurts and is raw now because of the memories and friendships and interactions that we made at 66 Sugar Hollow Road (and that treacherous parking lot!).

But it was the human beings that defined the space and shaped our lives there. Person-to-person, month after month. We built friendships there. We forged relationships with each other. That is what we miss.

But that is something we can find again, because we will never lose that bond we've forged.

And yes, there is change. But change isn’t “bad,” it’s just change.

Remember this: before 2005, before I asked the management about hosting this event, there WERE no Triangles parties.

So there is such a thing as “life without Triangles.” What isn’t changing is our community. We may have lost some place we called home, but we won’t be homeless for long. And as long as we keep in touch and support each other, I’m confident that we can create a new home that’s just as safe, fun, friendly, and accepting as Triangles Café was for the last decade.

Since 2005 - across the span of ten years, and over 93 parties - I became Tiffany. I came out, grew, learned, and became the person I am today because of Triangles Café. It’s no exaggeration that Triangles Café saved my life by introducing me TO my transgendered life.

So I wish to pay that forward by hopefully finding a time, space, and event (or events) that can provide that inspiration for someone else. By continuing to be a part of events that can come close to the lofty heights we reached at Triangles Café.

Please stay tuned to the next new chapters… and please help me to write those chapters!

Share this, and be ready to show your support.

I love you all and thank you so much for everything. I couldn't be prouder with what we created at Triangles Cafe. Because with everything I gave to the Triangles Café parties – my blood, my sweat, my tears, my passion, and my joys - you gave back to me tenfold. And my heart swells with pride and love from it. And from all of you.

With love and gratitude,

Tiffany Leigh
Hostess & Organizer, Friends of Triangles parties
December 2005 – February 2015

[Beverley Sims]

Adriana,
Changing views of society and activities cause various venues to close.
Lack of patronage is the prime cause.
Find out where the new interest lies and start at a new venue with a similar idea changed enough to attract a wider clientele.
People are being forced to drink less alcohol so provide soft drink and free eats, such as nuts and crisps.
Have novelty events where those there can "win" a prize or have a quiz where groups can compete against one another.
These are great bonding events. It will take off slowly and bomb out completly or be a resounding success.
I wish you well in a new endeavour.
The rule is, you have to move on, dont dwell on the past but remember it's good points fondly and "why it worked".

[Adriana Moretti]

thats from tiffany. ( the host) .....not me bev.....it was posted on facebook....i just shared for those who have been, or have attended the events she has thrown xoxo

she will find a new venue im not worried....

[flatlander_48]

The only thing that is constant is change...

[JuliaM]

I'm bummed I'll never make it to Danbury...attending my first Tiffany's event was on my radar this spring. I saw her post on Facebook and hope she has success in finding a new venue.

[NicoleScott]

While on vacation (alone) in Daytona Beach, I found a tg-friendly club and went there once that year and three times the next. It was my first time ever into a club en femme. The third year I discovered that the club had closed. I was seriously disappointed.

[Leah Lynn]

I used to follow Erica Scott, really enjoyed the vids she did there. Always wanted to make the trip, but it probably won't happen.

Often thought that if I won the lotto, I'd build a complete resort for us. Fun to dream...

Hugs,

Leah