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Thread: I feel what I did was wrong.

  1. #26
    Gold Member DonnaT's Avatar
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    I'd suggest changing your avatar in the game, since images can be googled. Similar images can be found this way.

    But unless you are planning on meeting anyone in the game, I wouldn't worry about the other lies. Many aren't who they say they are online.

    Coming clean in the game could ruin the game for the others, much like when the one person left.
    DonnaT

  2. #27
    Member Lexi_83's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CarlaWestin View Post
    Well, you did say it was a game, right? I'll bet you're not the only gender impersonator online.
    A person who worked for a then-popular Lesbian site told me that they thought 80-90% of their customers were genetic males. And those of us whose profile said TG were a small percentage - 10% or less.

  3. #28
    Junior Member WhitneyCD's Avatar
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    Still saying its wrong, but I like the idea of having a visual of how you'd like to be seen. Not a good thing to do, but still a guilty pleasure

  4. #29
    Member Cindy J Angel's Avatar
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    Playing games is cool we all do it as a girl some times. But useing some ones else's pic. Well i dont know about that. I would change it over the next 2 or 3 weeks . Thats my two cents love cindy

  5. #30
    Senior Member Ceera's Avatar
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    I have played female characters in games for a very long time. Probably longer than the OP has been alive. When I was fresh out of high school, I played female characters as often as males when playing 'Dungeons and Dragons' or other table top roleplaying games. The other people at the table with me never thought anything weird about it, and I played girls quite well. When I first got Internet access, and even before there was such a thing as websites, I roleplayed a female character in several text-based Usenet forums. But it was also obvious my character wasn't 'real' - she was an anthropomorphic Siamese cat, who could do magic! Still, a few players got romantically attached to her, and I had to gently tell them that the character I was playing wasn't a representation of 'the real me', and that I never would be dating or interacting in real life with any of them. Later, I continued roleplaying several females as well as males in web-based roleplaying forums. My persona as "Ceera" started that way in late 2002, and for seven years pretty much everyone on those forums believed Ceera was being played by a real girl. But I also made it clear if anyone started flirting with Ceera that anything that 'happened' had to be accepted strictly as fictional fun between our fictional characters, and that between the real me and their real selves, I only was offering a platonic friendship. Later, Ceera moved to a 3D virtual world - Second Life - and until a few years back she was pretty active there. I could make myself look as feminine and pretty and young as I wanted to! But my on-line avatar was just a game-generated 3D cartoon character. I kept the same rule about 'relationships'. If they wanted their fictional character to 'get involved' with mine, that was fine, if I also wanted that. But they had to agree it was only fictional fun. At no time did I try to lead anyone on and make them believe I was a girl they could meet in real life and maybe go on a date with in real life. And I never showed anyone a photo and claimed it was ''the real me'. I did eventually tell a few close friends there that I was really not born a girl, but they didn't really care. A lot of the 'girls' there were really guys.

    I'd say the main thing the OP did wrong was co-opting a real girl's photo and claiming that was her. If I was the OP, the first thing I would do is to replace that photo with a cartoon picture of a girl, and let her friends know that the photo she had been using wasn't really her. There are several on-line sites where you can create an avatar picture by choosing options, and it will result in a cute cartoon face to represent your character. You don't particularly have to admit you weren't born a girl. But do admit you initially chose to use a picture of someone else from the Internet, and that you've realized that was a wrong thing to do. Most folks will forgive you, if you come clean on that.

    As for anything else, in the flirting, did you ever imply that you might want to take anything across the edge into real life? If you didn't, then I say continuing to play as a girl is fine. Like I said, lots of the 'girls' in games, roleplaying venues and virtual on-line worlds are really guys. Probably most of them! But if you did imply that maybe you would meet one of your on-line friends in real life at some point, I'd gently try to tell those enamored friends that you don't look like that photo, and that it wouldn't be a good idea to get together in real life unless you both spend some time honestly talking to each other and can accept who you really are. Quite honestly, more often than not trying to meet someone you met on-line is a disappointing and sometimes dangerous thing to do. If you're just there for the game, keep the fun on-line, and maintain a clear separation between the game and your reality. It's a lot safer.
    Last edited by Ceera; 02-26-2015 at 10:49 PM.

  6. #31
    Member Nadya's Avatar
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    I tend to agree that making an avatar based off a real person may not have been the right thing to do. That's really the only thing I see wrong here. I pick female game characters in games too (I agree with Alice, "its like an extension of my feminine side.") especially fantasy games. If you decide to come clean, I hope it goes well for you!

  7. #32
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Alright, you did something wrong. Fix it. Open her pic in a photo editor and change it just enough so that it's no longer her. If there's background in it, change that too. Done.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  8. #33
    Silver Member Jodi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beverley Sims View Post
    Just go with the flow, don't share details that could expose you.

    People lie all the time on the internet.

    Even me.

    Lie all of the time? Speak for yourself. Just because many do it doesn't make it right.

    Jodi

  9. #34
    Gone to live my life
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andy66 View Post
    . . . I use a cat, but I think most people have figured out Im not really a cat.
    WHAAAT!!! Andy you mean to say you are not a cat

    Quote Originally Posted by Beverley Sims View Post
    . . . People lie all the time on the internet.
    WHAATT AGAIN!!!!! You mean people misrepresent themselves on the internet . . . my faith in humanity is dwindling with this post

    Quote Originally Posted by Jason+ View Post
    Wrong is your call to make. My preference has been for people to know what they are getting, hence the WYSIWYG. I have learned to take the internet with a grain of salt. How to resolve it depends on how much of a relationship you really feel you have with the gaming group . . .
    WHAATT YET AGAIN !!!! I can't believe this to be true. That's it, I am cancelling my internet and going back to carrier pigeons and calligraphy . . . LOL Jason . . . love this video BTW

    Seriously though Rachel,

    If you truly feel this is wrong then correct it on your own terms . . . come clean with all and say "Hey I am a dude not a girl" and post an new picture. However, if you still want to maintain your online "femme" persona, just change your avatar to anything as people have come think of you as a girl (or perhaps they have not . . . who really knows). Now before anyone goes ballistic and says "Hey that is still misrepresenting himself Isha" . . . "Hmm a guy pretending to be a girl . . . seems kind of strange doesn't it . . . let me think . . . NOT!" At the very least though, I agree with the others, you should take down the picture you coopted as it does belong to someone else (it is the polite thing to do).

    Hugs

    Isha

  10. #35
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    Hi Rachel, I just wonder haw many of the (GIRLS) that you are talking with are actually girls.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

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  11. #36
    Multi-Blogger Barbara Black's Avatar
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    I'm on the side of admitting it to those involved, but not beating yourself up for it. I joined a game using a female AV, just to hide my identity, not to establish a new one. Afterwards, I was stuck with it. But I realized also that i enjoyed it, almost like dressing up in RL, and now use it as my outlet for frustration as well, enjoying being able to express my feminine side, which is much larger than I ever realized until donning this female characterization. So i ask myself, was I really impersonating a female in the first place? Or just letting that side of me get exposed finally?

    Oh, the picture thing. Very wrong, I would change that immediately also, as suggested by others.
    Last edited by Katey888; 02-28-2015 at 08:50 AM. Reason: Consecutive posts merged - please use edit post to add to existing post rather than adding a successive post...

  12. #37
    W.Y.S.I.W.Y.G. Jason+'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Isha View Post
    WHAAAT!!! Andy you mean to say you are not a cat


    . . . LOL Jason . . . love this video BTW
    Andy is one of the coolest cats I know!

    If you are a gamer at all or come from a military background or perhaps both it's that much funnier.
    "You are not an accident, nor are you malfunctioning. You are performing EXACTLY as coded." For many "Man in a Dress" is the worst atrocity commit-able; for me it's just reality. Click to Learn About Me. Click to Complain About Me! There is a fine line between brutal honesty and honest brutality. It is rarely in the same place for the sender and the receiver.

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