I feel what I did was wrong.

[Rachel:3]

As a CD or someone who can't wait to fully dress I love being called a girl, since I haven't been able to fully dress I made an online persona of a girl I pretend to be. I looked up girls on google and picked the one I thought was the cutest. Months later I join this online game with a small but closely knit community. Ever since then I've become friends with the people there but there is one problem... They think I'm a girl. Now that I've become so close I feel ashamed for teasing them and pretending to be a girl online. I don't know what to do now as I fear getting shunned by the community which is already in shambles due to a high profile member leaving the game. Yes, I flirted and said cute things but I'm a heterosexual male and feel guiltily for lying and leading these people on. I don't know what to do.

[Zoe B]

You would be surprised how many people actually do that. Let things calm down a little and don't beat yourself up over it.

If you want to come clean just go ahead and be honest and open. I actually met my wife through a community where my avatar was female.

[MissTee]

I wouldn't sweat it. It's very common. Remember that when you are approached online. Likely what you see is not what you get.

[Sara Jessica]

If I read this correct, you co-opted a photo of a "cute girl" and represented you are her? I don't care how many people do this, I'll validate your thread title and agree you are wrong.

[Rachelakld]

Problem with lies, usually they "kick you in the A" eventually
So come clean, apologize, take an A kicking, learn from it and move on
It's called "being human"

[heatherdress]

If you are simply going to continue as an on-line game member, it really would not seem to matter if you are simply playing and communicating in a game forum. Who cares? But if you expect more, then you will have to admit to misrepresenting yourself and accept the consequences.

[Jason+]

Wrong is your call to make. My preference has been for people to know what they are getting, hence the WYSIWYG. I have learned to take the internet with a grain of salt. How to resolve it depends on how much of a relationship you really feel you have with the gaming group.

[Barbara Black]

I'm on the side of admitting it to those involved, but not beating yourself up for it. I joined a game using a female AV, just to hide my identity, not to establish a new one. Afterwards, I was stuck with it. But I realized also that i enjoyed it, almost like dressing up in RL, and now use it as my outlet for frustration as well, enjoying being able to express my feminine side, which is much larger than I ever realized until donning this female characterization. So i ask myself, was I really impersonating a female in the first place? Or just letting that side of me get exposed finally?

Oh, the picture thing. Very wrong, I would change that immediately also, as suggested by others.

[Alice_2014_B]

Whenever there is a chance to utilize a female avatar for a game I jump on the chance, its like an extension of my feminine side. Once I was playing an online Poker game and I chose the best looking, at least to me anyway, female avatar. Using the chat guys would start chatting with me wanting my email. I would just brush it off since I'm not into that. I also like to pick female avatars with offline games as well.

[Andy66]

Just my opinion, I would say stop using some other persons photo. What if she or one of her friends see it? Use a cartoon girl or something. I use a cat, but I think most people have figured out Im not really a cat.

[Katey888]

I use a cat, but I think most people have figured out Im not really a cat.

Another feline hero bites the dust... Come to think of it, I'd wondered how you kept your paws off the mouse when typing...

Rachel - you've sort of said it yourself and others have too... You've got an opportunity to correct it - if you think it's wrong, continuing it is never going to be righter.

Your call... your values...

Katey x

[Kate Simmons]

The problem with any lie is that it requires more to keep it going.Pretty soon, you've told so many, you forget what you said. Then you are in trouble.

[Andy66]

Another feline hero bites the dust... Come to think of it, I'd wondered how you kept your paws off the mouse when typing...

Im just a human who likes to get in touch with their feline side. Oh, that mouse isnt as tasty as it looks.

[Marcelle]

. . . I use a cat, but I think most people have figured out Im not really a cat.

WHAAAT!!! Andy you mean to say you are not a cat

. . . People lie all the time on the internet.

WHAATT AGAIN!!!!! You mean people misrepresent themselves on the internet . . . my faith in humanity is dwindling with this post

Wrong is your call to make. My preference has been for people to know what they are getting, hence the WYSIWYG. I have learned to take the internet with a grain of salt. How to resolve it depends on how much of a relationship you really feel you have with the gaming group . . .

WHAATT YET AGAIN !!!! I can't believe this to be true. That's it, I am cancelling my internet and going back to carrier pigeons and calligraphy . . . LOL Jason . . . love this video BTW

Seriously though Rachel,

If you truly feel this is wrong then correct it on your own terms . . . come clean with all and say "Hey I am a dude not a girl" and post an new picture. However, if you still want to maintain your online "femme" persona, just change your avatar to anything as people have come think of you as a girl (or perhaps they have not . . . who really knows). Now before anyone goes ballistic and says "Hey that is still misrepresenting himself Isha" . . . "Hmm a guy pretending to be a girl . . . seems kind of strange doesn't it . . . let me think . . . NOT!" At the very least though, I agree with the others, you should take down the picture you coopted as it does belong to someone else (it is the polite thing to do).

Hugs

Isha

[Jason+]

WHAAAT!!! Andy you mean to say you are not a cat


. . . LOL Jason . . . love this video BTW

Andy is one of the coolest cats I know!

If you are a gamer at all or come from a military background or perhaps both it's that much funnier.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Rachel,
If you feel what you did was wrong, you need to correct it.
If you don't it will just get worse from here.
Being as it's an online thing, I think you can find a way to come clean
and still remain friends with these people you are afraid of offending.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[WhitneyCD]

As someone frequently guilty of the same mistake, I try to be upfront and honest so whoever I may be talking to knows that the picture is only.a "representation" of who I am. I know from experience once it gets rolling ita tough to stop. I will often just go cold turkey, delete it all and just disappear until I feel like I have regained control.
I don't think it makes us as horrible of people as we feel, but we are def in the wrong.

[Lily Catherine]

As someone who has maintained a female character (in video games) whenever possible, I certainly find it wrong to simply nick a real person's photo and impersonate the subject. Not the least when the worst assumption is that you'll never cross paths with said person ever.

Which, in turn, is the reason why I use an illustration (ironically, one who could be seen as my female counterpart, of all people) as my avatar.

[phylis anne]

everyone here has said some valid things , even though it is th internet integrity still applies be careful . As to Andy's avatar "Just my opinion, I would say stop using some other persons photo. What if she or one of her friends see it? Use a cartoon girl or something. I use a cat, but I think most people have figured out Im not really a cat" what a cat and cute too
hugs phylis anne

[CarlaWestin]

Well, you did say it was a game, right? I'll bet you're not the only gender impersonator online.

[Lexi_83]

Well, you did say it was a game, right? I'll bet you're not the only gender impersonator online.

A person who worked for a then-popular Lesbian site told me that they thought 80-90% of their customers were genetic males. And those of us whose profile said TG were a small percentage - 10% or less.

[Vale]

To me, having an alter ego on line is not very different than cross dressing. However, if the picture you used is a real person you might cause her real harm. Would you like your face associated with someone else's behavior? I don't think you intended harm, but technically this is identity theft.

Love,
Valerie

[Sarah-RT]

Apparently most female characters in games online are played by guys. I'm guessing your game was text chat and not voice chat. I wouldn't sweat it since as others have said, what you see online is not what you get,
I'd be very alarmed to discover all the lovely ladies here weren't just that 😁

If you have taken some girls picture of suggest you change it to a stock image, we wouldn't like it if our pictures were being taken and used for other means.
As for the "deception" what's the big deal? Your playing a persona online, when I play grand theft auto I'm not conning people into thinking im a car thief offline

[Beverley Sims]

Just go with the flow, don't share details that could expose you.

People lie all the time on the internet.

Even me.

[Jodi]

Just go with the flow, don't share details that could expose you.

People lie all the time on the internet.

Even me.

Lie all of the time? Speak for yourself. Just because many do it doesn't make it right.

Jodi