A sense of purpose? Come clarity? Sound track to your escape?

[Suzie Petersen]

I agree with Sarah. One main difference between the TS and the CD population, is that the TS has a well defined end goal, and the CD does not. I also believe that this is a good part of why many CD'ers are very frustrated with it all. The fact that there is no easily definable purpose for the activity. The CD want it all and want it to be reversible, instantly.

I am not making light of the TS path, not at all, but I do think it in some respect is easier because there is an end point.

It is also likely that the general population has less of an issue with TS's than with CD's! From we are toddlers, we learn that there are 2 genders, male and female. It is one of the first things we learn and it makes order of the world for us. You are either in one box, or in the other. There is no box in the middle.

When someone transitions, they move from one box to the other, so now there is order again! Good! All people now have to do is forget the past.
But when someone one day wants to be in one box, and the next day want to be in the other, and then back again over and over, it is confusing and the order is lost. People get confused about it and as usual, when people are confronted with confusion and something they do not understand, all the worst behaviors come out.

So in a very very simplified way of seeing this, the TS's ultimate goal is to move to the other accepted box and the CD's ultimate goal is for the world to accept a change in the order and accept the establishment of a third box.

My goal? To make it to the end of my life, on time.

In the words of Gandalf: "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us!"

- Suzie

[Gretchen_To_Be]

My goal is to look as good as you do in a dress

[Candice Mae]

Thanks, but I've had some fortunate developments and never really developed a male stature.

[PaulaQ]

One main difference between the TS and the CD population, is that the TS has a well defined end goal, and the CD does not.

My goal is to give birth to a child. I am expecting great, and terrible disappointment at the certain total failure of this end goal, despite it being well defined. There are a lot of things in this life I'd like to experience - I'd settle for having a period. Or even a real vagina. But no, none of those goals are attainable. I'd even be happier with the lesser goal where even knowing my history, all people simply treated me as a woman. Unfortunately, this will never happen. Ever. Not in my lifetime. I will always be one of two things:
1. Hidden, stealth, treated like a woman as long as my secret is kept
2. An "other," if it's known.

It is also likely that the general population has less of an issue with TS's than with CD's! From we are toddlers, we learn that there are 2 genders, male and female. It is one of the first things we learn and it makes order of the world for us. You are either in one box, or in the other. There is no box in the middle.

There are plenty of people who transition, but who are at least close to the middle. Their plight is not easier than yours - there is no social template for someone who presents as neither gender all of the time. There are plenty of people who don't correspond to the binary. I'm one of the ones who does, and I don't think I'm in the majority in my area, at all. The reason the world doesn't accept CDs is that they have no idea, in general, how many of you there are. There are a lot of CDs - but y'all mostly aren't visible. So people pretend you don't exist.

When someone transitions, they move from one box to the other, so now there is order again! Good! All people now have to do is forget the past.

Right - except almost no one does really ever forget our history. I'll forever be "that chick who used to be a dude."

So in a very very simplified way of seeing this, the TS's ultimate goal is to move to the other accepted box and the CD's ultimate goal is for the world to accept a change in the order and accept the establishment of a third box.

Our goal as TS individuals us to find a way to be comfortable in our own skin. This does not always involve exactly moving from one pole of the gender binary to the other. I dress a lot more femininely than many GGs do. My goal isn't to conform to the world. Screw them - seriously - just screw them. My goal is to be myself as best I can be. Many people in this world will never accept someone like me no matter how well I conform to the gender binary.

That said, I will agree with you that if someone like me, who really does correspond well to the gender binary - I'm a friggin' girl, for pete's sake - has trouble being accepted by society, then folks like CDs, or other gender non-conforming people don't really have a prayer of being accepted generally.

However, as for the notion of it being easier to be a TS than a CD - bullshit. Try dealing with things when the going gets tough without donning your man-suit, and get back to me about "easier."

[CherylFlint]

The goal was to “pass”.
It took many years and many hours of wearing the wrong stuff and not doing a good job on my makeup until I saw the light.
And the light was that I needed help, so, little by little, I got help.
I went to a professional mastectomy bra fitter and was fitted for the proper size forms.
Went to a wig store and found out what wigs work for my face/build.
Had a friend who I asked for help and she said yes.
So, taken-in all together, I finally got to the point where I can “pass” most of the time.
I’ve been to baseball games, the mall, parks, etc. “dressed” and have no problem.
These days, when I’m “dressed” as Cheryl, I pass completely when my wife is with me. We go to restaurants and she’ll do the ordering. Works very well.
So, my goal was to “pass” and I still enjoy dressing and going out.
Stay safe.

[Ally 2112]

I just go with the flow my goal is to be happy

[Adriana Moretti]

My goal when I came back from my purge was simply to get out again and have fun. I enjoy going out and having a good time. Now that I been there, and done that I dont think I really have any goals...except maybe to travel more, but I have no intrest in transitioning...I am however spending alot more time dressed these days, but transitioning is not on any agenda, hair removal yes.....but thats about as far as I would take it. I dont need to be a girl full time, I think it's because of how I grew up in New York ..clubbing in drag was just a fun thing to do...sure I took it to a whole new level, but I am content where I am and I am happy with myself right where I am at.....now as far as goals?? maybe to lose just a few more pounds...does that count? xoxo

[GingerLeigh]

You will go as far as you let it so your ultimate goal keeps moving. Seems once people achieve what they want, a "more involved" desire arises and becomes your next objective.