Getting rid of all your feminine clothing

[pamela7]

there are at least two scenarios Jess,

1. that you're a female soul in a male body, in which case, you're likely to suffer and eventually give-in to the need to express as a woman

2. that you're not 1., and had 1+ childhood imprinting experiences that could be undone if discovered, thus freeing you from the urge IF all such imprinting moments can be found and undone, and IF you really want that?

3. that you're experiencing a reintegration of socially-defined feminine aspects of a natural being, in which case its probably also unstoppable.

4. the "Brain Sex" imprinting of testosterone in-utero has led you to a mixed m-f identity - also unstoppable psychologically

apart from the one case, you've already left the door open for a return, and temptation will only grow, sorry.

Does CDA (Cross-Dressers Anonymous) exist?

Hope this helps

Pamela

[BillieJoEllen]

I have only ever purged once and that was because I absolutely had to. If I had to purge today I would go and rent a storage locker because I know the urge to dress would come back with a violent passion.

[Sarah Beth]

I sincerely wish you a lot of luck but I honestly don't see you being successful short of having some kind of professional aversion therapy and even I doubt that would work out. You have said you already kept one thing. Pretty soon there will be two. I've been there.

[Cheryl T]

You kept one item...
Doesn't that tell you something about yourself and the purge you just went through?

Can't tell you how many times I've tossed all my pretty things just to have them return like a boomerang in a few months or so.
Maybe advice is not what you really want, because all I can say is if it is indeed serious then TELL HER. If the love is real she will still be at your side. If not then find out now and save both of you a lot of heartache.
Hiding from her will only make you upset. The untold lie, the sneaking, the stealing of time to be with your feminine self and her things. Eventually it ate at me so much that it nearly tore us apart and I had to tell her to maintain my sanity. I was one of the lucky ones and she accepted me in all my forms.
Take this with a grain of salt, for we are all different, but if the love is real give her the choice. You never had one in this, but she should.

[PaulaQ]

I'm in a serious relationship and I don't want her to find it, I have kept 1 item because it's easy to hide rather then 100 items of clothing, what's your suggestion to not get back into buying stuff for myself again eg women's clothing,

You should just tell her about this part of you. Many people here will tell you that this isn't going away. I mean, you haven't even started yet, and you are already backsliding by keeping the one item... Not to be negative, but this is a part of you, and really, your life will be a whole lot simpler if you talk to her about it. If she doesn't accept it, that is genuinely awful, I understand and sympathize with that. But believe me, it will save you a bunch of heart ache down the road. I speak from personal experience on that.

[Jules Spirit]

I think the hardest part about this is being honest with yourself about what you actually want. I struggle with being honest with myself about what I reaaly want and find myself resentful and angry at someone else for my own lack of personal honesty. That would probably not work out well in this new relationship.
Yet if you honestly do not want to put action to being transgendered, you can do that. Just know what you want and act accordingly.

[Melissa73]

i must respond! I totally agree, the "urge" will come back! Ive purged many many times in my lifetime... and always have regretted it! maybe not today, or tommorrow... but i would regret it! (if u can, more power to you!) but can i say.... the only best purge ive ever accomplished was 3 yars ago....... when i purged all my mens underwear in favor of Panties.


Melissa

[Khora]

I purged once when I was 20 or so. I'm still here so you can probably figure out how effective it was.

[Jorja]

If you find yourself with that urge to purge, purge your male underwear instead of your female attire. See if that takes away the urge first.

[Stephanie47]

I clicked on your bio and read you work in a retail dress shop?? Duh! You may want to get hired at an exclusive men's wear shop for starters. Secondly, if your picture is of you, then make sure your SO is a size zero.

[CONSUELO]

From my experience, the urge to dress will come back and you will be spending money on new clothes. Purging your feminine wardrobe does not change who you are. For whatever reason, you and the rest of us who visit this site, wish to spend some or all of our life looking, as much as possible, like a woman. We don't understand why but from long experience we have learned that a new relationship does not purge the cross dressing urge. It will go away for a few months or perhaps longer and then it will be back. Notice how you kept one item, a link to who you are.

[cdsara]

How long have you been together? I think you should tell her now. I wish I had. I purged and denied it and all I got was anger and depression. When I did tell her she was mad I kept it from her so long and lied. She said if I had told her to start with she probably would have been fine with it. Just think about it. Even if you tell her you used to dress and it could come back so she is not surprised.

[Christi]

I have cleaned out all or almost all several times and after the last time some 10 or so years ago, I said that would be the last time. Its me and I am fine with me...

[Ally 2112]

I have purged a few times and always went back and bought more clothes .The best thing is to tell her if you can

[harmony]

next time you feel the urge again to purge send me your stuff and you might get it back slightly worn.anybody else who wants to do that as well pm me for my address.

[Nadya]

I'm not sure I have an answer to that question. I went through a similar feeling when I started dating my fiancé. My urges to dress went away with the new excitement of a relationship and I gave all of my stuff to goodwill. Eventually the desire to dress came back and I realized that it wasn't going to go away. It might be less heartache to put the clothes in storage and if the relationship looks like it will work out, perhaps it might be worth telling her. That's easier said than done but knowing myself, this was the right step for me and I think I'm happier because of it. Good luck however you choose to pursue it.

[MissTee]

Jess,

As so many of us have learned over the years, you can't make the desire to dress go away by getting rid of your wardrobe. It's like being a werewolf and pretending the moon is not full when it is. Over the long haul it's best to not shy away from who you really are and what makes you happy. Anything less is a formula for disaster and heartache.

[Cindy J Angel]

Just like aver body's i could not stop i have done it again and again sorry

[Lynn Marie]

When I quit smoking, I started sucking on candies. That caused me to gain about 20 pounds that actually looked good on me but also caused some dental work! My recommendation is to replace one obsession with another obsession. Get a different hobby and join the forum for that bunch.

[SandraB]

You should have posted before purging, ...

Though water under the bridge at this stage, this is good advice.
Also, as many others have observed, keeping the one item is not really a recipe for success and will likely cause on-going anguish. Finally, as Katey advised at the beginning of this thread and re-iterated by many others, the best advice and support will not come from active members of this site as at best we can only provide experience of failure rather than success.
I wish you luck with whatever path you choose but I think it is as important for your SO as it is for yourself that you are at peace with and be yourself.