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Thread: Name change question

  1. #1
    Transgender Member Dianne S's Avatar
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    Name change question

    Hi,

    When I'm ready to go full-time, I of course plan on changing my first name from my male name to Dianne. But I'm keeping my same last name. Just wondering how many people here kept their last name, how many people changed it, and the reasons why.

    I'll go first: I plan on keeping my last name because I don't want to deny my past life and I don't want to sever my connection with my family and my ancestors.

  2. #2
    Member Kimberly Kael's Avatar
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    I kept my last name for reasons pretty similar to yours, Dianne. I also repurposed my original given name as my new middle name in recognition that parents chose it for me, but only because the name is sometimes given to girls as well (though it is more commonly chosen as a boy's name.) I completely dropped my unambiguously masculine middle name and chose a new first name based on a lot of factors, though unlike many I didn't worry about preserving the same initials.
    ~ Kimberly

    “To escape criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." - Elbert Hubbard

  3. #3
    I've made it and love it Jennifer-GWN's Avatar
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    For me I see no reason to change my last name at all. First name will stay as jennifer as it works for me.

    Cheers... Jennifer
    I am who I am... I'm happy...I mean truly to the bone happy...and at peace with myself for the first time ever. I'm confident and content as the woman I am.

  4. #4
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    This question comes back once in a while on this forum. Changing your last name is not allowed in Quebec, unless your life is in danger.

  5. #5
    Lady in waiting Peggie Lee's Avatar
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    Pick a name that some special meaning for you. My mother had 2 names ready when I was born, I asked her what the name was and today I am Peggie Lee.

  6. #6
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    I felt for the longest time that a name change (ie legal change) had a low priority but recently I've felt the need to change grow much stronger.

    I will keep my last name. I like it, it's unique and have great pride in it. Also I too won't deny my past.

    Now for my first and middle names, there isn't anyway for me to find out what my mother would've named me as a girl. I tried asking my sisters but they had no idea how she came with anyone's name (I'm the youngest of 11 children). I've decided to basically feminize my male name, both first and middle.
    My brothers and sisters will probably continue to call me what they've always called me as even though my formal first name is male, what my family calls me can be both male and female.

  7. #7
    Silver Member I Am Paula's Avatar
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    I kept my last name as well. Familiarity, and I'm not stealth.
    Paula is pretty obvious, and Maria was my Mom's name.

  8. #8
    Living MY Life Rachel Smith's Avatar
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    Kept mine for the same reasons as you want to keep yours.
    My parents should have known something wasn't quite right when I kept putting Kens' head on Barbies' body Rachel Smith May 2017

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  9. #9
    Silver Member DebbieL's Avatar
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    Keeping your last name can help a lot when you are trying to maintain credit history, employment history, and legal history. You don't have to keep your last name, but it can make the process of changing your records even more challenging than it already is. Some agencies and credit boroughs will accept a faxed copy of the court order. Others require a hard-copy of your court order and a color copy of your driver's license. Add to that certain doctor's letters to change social security, passport, and driver's license records, and it is already a lot of fun.

    I originally planned on using my mother's mother's mother's maiden name (Lawrence), but when I realized how complicated it could get, I realized it would be better to keep my last name. I also moved my birth first name to my middle name. This way, I can provide the link when necessary.
    Facebook - Debbie Lawrence
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    Open4Success

  10. #10
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    I transitioned in place and didn't want to create any distance from my family. So it was natural to stay with it for me. I did end up with the same initials too, so it had an impact on the amount of changes I needed to do.

  11. #11
    Diamond Member Persephone's Avatar
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    I took Kimberly Kael's route, keeping my last name and using my previous first name as my middle name. New middle name is a rather solidly male name but there could be many reasons that a family might use a middle name regardless of its gender.

    Prior to my legal name change I'd used a different last name and am still known by it in some circles. I consider it my "stage name." After all, I was going through a stage, wasn't I?

    Hugs,
    Persephone.
    "If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.

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  12. #12
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    I haven't changed it yet. I talked to my sisters and my kids about changing the last name, in case they may want deniability. All want me to keep it. I want to also, for the same reasons given above. My nickname is Lee. At a Halloween party a few years ago a guest commented that I wasn't Lee, but Leah. I liked it. I had a wonderful great aunt with that name and
    feel I'm honoring her by taking it. I'll use Marie as my middle name simply because I like it.

    Hugs,

    Leah
    Be nice; It don't cost nothing.

  13. #13
    Junior Member jessica2009's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frances View Post
    This question comes back once in a while on this forum. Changing your last name is not allowed in Quebec, unless your life is in danger.
    that is something i didnt know and is kind of weird that they would not allow a name change haha.

  14. #14
    Member Ann Louise's Avatar
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    I kept my last name in honour of my family and heritage. I shortened my routine signature, too, to just my last name several years ago (out of convenience), so there's been no change in that, either.

  15. #15
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    I kept my last name, It never occurred to me not to. Although mostly called Becky I put the long version of Rebecca on my deed pole, for some reason I chose to keep my initials.
    My middle name was the real issue for me, in the end my Mum chose it after her mum, just seemed the right thing to do.

  16. #16
    What is normal anyway? Rianna Humble's Avatar
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    As has been often documented here, I did change my last name for a number of reasons
    1. To make a clean break (after checking with my late father)
    2. To try to avoid comeback from my political opponents
    3. To try to fly under the radar


    Number one didn't really work because everyone who knew me before still knows me
    Number two was (surprisingly) unnecessary
    Number three didn't work because the press got hold of the story and then it went viral
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  17. #17
    Junior Member Jennifer8's Avatar
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    I changed my boy and girl names a few times before I did it legally - twice - LOL.

    SO OK I had one of those also a "first name" last names.
    I never really liked my full name or my last name or my initials JD
    So I switched them and started calling myself DJ instead. something I liked better
    after a few yrs most all my friends knew me as DJ and though my last name was my first alot .

    SO when i started being a girl I picked Willow from a book I liked it was my name here to.
    Me n Stacy were friends n she helped me come out and was always sayin she really didnt like that name like it didnt fit me
    Shes the one who came up with Jennifer around when we went from friends to dating but I still likes Willow
    I mentioned a bunch of times how uh she can be really pushy lol she wouldnt quit it with jennifer and after a while I guess it sorta grew on me n I started using it. also because for a bit she said well you can keep ur intials and started calling me Jenn all the time lol

    Sooo I was J D then W D then J D again but with a girls name. but not legal
    after she decided to get married was when I started to change my name legally to Jennifer
    but that didnt happen till after so we got married as JD boy name and Stacy

    then I got the paers saying I was Jenn D Yaaaa! but I still had my old last name and didnt it much so she said to change it to hers.
    first I was like but I just done changing it and shes like girls change last names when they get married so you can change it to mine, cause im NOT taking yours lol.
    I had all this paperwork but didnt change anything legal yet so I had the papers saying I went from JD boys name to JD girls name
    I had the papers saying we got married with my old name on it

    SO TL;DR
    I changed my name from JD boys name to Jennifer D and then to my/her married last name.
    So now I am Jennifer ***** and I really like my name and new last name a lot now.
    Plus its cool because me Stacy and her/our mom all have the same name
    it does make it really hard thou because we get called sisters ALOT by people and Im like uh no but we all have the same last name soooo Stacy takes way way to much joy in pointing that out .

    Like when were all out eating or whatever and want to get drinks we both get IDed and like everytime the person is like oh it must be great having a sister so close in age or to our mom - you have such nice daughters. even she is like agreeing with thme now!
    but she says well I do have two daughters ....... now...... :/

    you know I really stopped trying to stop it I even stopped letting it bother me most times but it gets weird trying to be close and romantic because we sometimes get some serious WTAF?!? looks when we kiss or do anything more then sisters shouldnt be doing together !
    Ya people will like actually freak the f*** out when they think two sisters are kissing or touching eachother NOT in a sisters way :/
    I really should have topped off my coffee before getting comfy.

  18. #18
    Dancing With Unicorns Sarah Ellis's Avatar
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    I changed mine completely in 2011. My folks weren't too happy though about me dropping the family name. I felt though, that this was necessary for me to make a new start in life. While it did cause some discord at first, things have been kinda patched up. My folks though, still haven't got round to using my name or even the correct pronouns. That does cause me some discomfort.
    "There's a place for us.
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  19. #19
    Senior Member Eringirl's Avatar
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    Change in first and middle, keeping my last name. Mostly for my kids to show them that I am not disconnecting from them at all. And just easier with employment, etc, etc, etc.
    Seize the day. Life is short, and you're dead a long time...just sayin' ...

  20. #20
    Member typhoidmary's Avatar
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    I'm not changing my last name, partly out of respect for my parents, partly because what would I change it to anyway, partly because my new full name works pretty well. This is pretty far off for me anyway.

  21. #21
    Silver Member Angela Campbell's Avatar
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    I chose to change both names. There are a few in my family who may have had trouble having the same family name as me. I chose not to offend any one. I decided to use my grandmother's name to keep a connection to my family.
    All I ever wanted was to be a girl. Is that really asking too much?

  22. #22
    Senior Member Sammy777's Avatar
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    Completely changed it for a few reasons.
    I did not use a "female" version of my first name, for two reasons.
    1) I wanted NO connection to "His" previous life.
    2) While it is/was a fine male name, its female counterparts leave little to be desired.
    Besides, I did not want to have a decidedly male nickname which referred back to my original name.

    Oddly enough, I ended up choosing Samantha. To which I regularly get called Sam, lol.
    But I knew that going in never did have a problem with it.
    In fact I usually encourage it. Its seems to be quite common place for the name anyway.

    My father, who I loved even though our relationship was never that great, is dead.
    Never really knew, or for that case, ever cared to know most "relatives" from that side of the fence.
    Mainly because pretty much all of them are P.O.S and can all go to fracking hell for all I care.
    The "family" name already has its heir apparent and is saved for at least one more generation.

    As far as my mother's side [maiden name] goes, I did consider it, but ultimately decided against.

    While I obviously don't care much for my father's family I do however enjoy my Scottish heritage/ancestry and so chose a name that still reflects such.
    Warning: This post may contain up to 63% post consumer recycled Sarcasm ... or Peanuts."
    "Sammy, really next time do try to make your point without being quite so abrasive." -RD

  23. #23
    Tyrannosaurus Girl Promethea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frances View Post
    This question comes back once in a while on this forum. Changing your last name is not allowed in Quebec, unless your life is in danger.
    I think that's the case in Sweden, but I don't know yet if I have to start my name change there or in Uruguay (I'm an uncommon case, currently have dual nationality, but was stateless until 4). Anyway, I have no need to change my last name. I've always been proud of my family history, and the way my extended family reacted to my coming out (and the long way my parents have come through) makes me even prouder.
    Life is a dream we wake from.

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