I'd like to blend I think. I think overdoing makeup, hair and body shaping is actually insulting to GG's as saying that women are nothing but hair and boobs. Especially because I am usually on my own, I try blend in by looking like all the beautiful and tasteful women in whatever environment or event I am attending.
Visual cues, as other thread have testified, can easily be misinterpreted and can lead to real trouble.
Thank you Nicole. I will spit it out already....Originally Posted by NicoleScott
I am trying to determine what the ratio of the people (on the forum) that tend to do a blending appearance are comfortable (and/or proud) with being perceived as being a part of the transgender umbrella compared to those that do a blending appearance to shy away from being recognized as a part of it.
I do know that safety could be a major factor in contributing to stay an arm length away.
Last edited by Princess Chantal; 03-04-2015 at 05:59 PM.
I would not call it blending. I'd rather say I dress appropriately for where I will be. If I want more attention, I will dress how ever I please. :-)
I must admit to being confused about the meaning of blending: does that mean you go out not wearing what you want to? When I go out, I dress in very appropriate clothes that just happen to be more traditionally feminine than what 95% of women wear today. I both blend and stand out. I can't understand the rationale for not wearing your preferred style: we're guys in dresses, get your money's worth!
Thanks for the clarification. I don't mind being seen as a crossdresser. I am careful where I go, and when.
I picked up the definition of blending from this forum through thousands of posts mentioning it. I got to say I love your definition Angela!
Girl! That is a difficult question. Initially I wanted to say Pass as a GG but in the end I really just want to blend and be accepted as I am.
Kim
"I just gotta be me"
In reply to post #27 I would say neither. I try to blend to not be noticed. I'm not concerned about being seen as part of the transgender umbrella one way or the other. I'm neither proud nor shy of where I fit under there or even if I do. I guess, like Caden, I just want to be me, without fear of harassment, and blending in in the sense that people don't pay me much attention is what I aim for.
I do not believe anyone who sees a cross dresser thinks of the "transgender umbrella" rather, the normals see a cross dresser. Just A cross dresser, not a movement. The cross dresser in question may be seen as subtle or crazy based on attire, but it is still A cross dresser.
When i I see a gay couple,I'm don't think "gay rights" I think it's a couple. Just two people.
By the way, I do not consider myself part of the transgender umbrella, despite the fact that I am a cross dresser. I am not out to press an agenda. I am me and when I interact with the normals, I change preconceived ideas one at a time, if allowed.
I guess it is some of both for me. Those who know both sides of me seem to respect me for what I do. I'm generally treated as a woman when out and about and that's fine with me. The only time I really strive for #1 is when using the ladies' room.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club
I try ( keyword) to blend in as much as possible in the vanilla world, for 2 reasons .....
1. I dont want to stand out like a sore thumb
2. In public we are all ambassadors for crossdressers....so I feel it is our duty for us all to represent us correctly and try ( keyword again) to break down the stereotype that crossdressers have. To me that means NOT dressing like a hooker on 42 st and not dressing for the oscars at the local walmart.
I do not try to blend. I'm simply myself.
I think this is a valuable conversation.
First, I think cross dressing DOES fall under the TG umbrella. Whether you're out and about, a full-on advocate, or tucked deep in a closet, most cross dressers present themselves - even alone - as the gender opposite of their birth. Thus, transgender. That's the very definition of the word, actually, and to me it doesn't matter if you do it every day, once a week, once a year or once a decade; if you express the opposite gender of your birth, that is transgender.
As for the original question, I've been out of the house only a few times, but I very much prefer dressing to blend in for the sake of respect. I know people will clock me. That's unavoidable. But what I sincerely hope most people conclude by looking at me, is I went through a lot of work to look the way I do, thus this isn't a joke or a prank, but it's me wanting to be respected and accepted.
Ms. Tina Zee - Your favorite gender nonconforming ukulelist and vocalist. Well, one of your favorites, I hope.
See me sing right here! https://www.youtube.com/user/MsTinaZee
Initially I felt that I should express myself as i want, to hell with other people's views on my clothing, but I've been before in situations with neighbours - "little englanders" we call them - and frankly if I don't let people have a view on structures in my yard, there is hell to pay, regardless that its eff-all to do with them. So the same goes with dressing. By respecting the "code" one assumes the pretense, by dressing properly, fully, one shows one is respecting and thus, one is respected, and therefore ignored, safe. That is how the true sociopath will read the dressing. Therefore, by not being rude, by respecting the people around, I am respected. In the sick, sociopathic world of the occident, its the easier path. Therefore, dressing to be respected means a sufficient pass.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.
thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er
I would prefer to blend as a woman and be unnoticed
you may find out that even then some men would treat you as any woman and not respect you
Ill be honest and say they holy grail is to be taken for a cis-gendered women. I've respected, admired and envied women my whole life. I want to be one, to be be seen as one is a dream come true. However most of the time I am perceived as a transgender woman and I'll take that.
Let me put this another way. Clothing and makeup are a form of communication, they tell the world something about you. Now in many ways, this can be a very personal type of communication. However, rightly or wrongly, a sort of code develops in people's minds about what certain modes of dress mean. A very short skirt, low cut blouse, and heels to some will say "I'm sexually available," even though the intended message might simply be "I'm proud of my body and having some fun."
There are lots of things we communicate this way - "I'm important," "I'm poor," "I'm busy and don't care what you think about my appearance right now."
I think it does help to wear clothes that look good on our bodies. This, to me, is a better rule of thumb than an age appropriate rule. And I do look at what other women wear, because this is a shared language, and while no one makes you conform, I think knowing what does conform is helpful, even if you think it's stupid and you aren't going to do it.
I do try to be sensitive to the situation where I find myself. I wouldn't wear very casual clothes to church, for example. I wouldn't go to the grocery store in the dress I wore in my avatar photo - an LBD. However, I've always, even before transition, had a tendency to over dress just a little for the situation, because I find doing that sends a message that I've never gotten tired of: "Don't F--- with me!"
I don't try to be unnoticed though. I want you to see me. I don't want to take that too far and make a spectacle of myself, but I'll be damned if I'll be invisible. I'm a woman, and people should notice me.
Both really. I want to pass so I am not read and harassed etc. But, passing is very difficult, and may involve wearing what I don't want to wear at a given time... so, if I can't pass, I want to at least be seen as respectable.
I just want to blend in regardless. I would go with both 1 and 2.
Melissa: "... and why are you dressed as a woman?"
Coach McGuirk: "Because it's freeing."
-Home Movies
(cartoon series)
Shoe size: 9 US women's.
Dress size: M to L; 8-10.
Height: 5' 6".
For me I do it cause I love to, whether I pass is just a bonus
I am not trying to Blend in as such. I dress because I want the freedom to wear what I want, when I want. I appreciate society has limits and what it will accept or not, so I try not to push the extremes of those boundaries - so I don't wear Skirts/dresses for example. But pretty much everything else is in. The fact I do blend in is a bonus, but not the reason for it.
I don't really care if people respect me, as long as they are not abusive to me I am not bothered. The only people whose opinions I really care about are my family's. My daughter (and wife) have told me to tone down at times and I will, because what they think matters. Most times they are happy with what I wear.
I am not trying to fit under the Transgender umbrella because I am not Transgendered. I am not trying to fit under any umbrella or category because I do not try and hide my masculinity. I accentuate certain feminine characteristics in my clothing yes, but my face, my attitude, manner, walk etc it is as I am any day and was 20 years ago (bar maturing obviously). I do not try and pass because there is no need to, I am me and comfortable with that.
As PaulaQ said: "I don't try to be unnoticed though. I want you to see me. I don't want to take that too far and make a spectacle of myself, but I'll be damned if I'll be invisible."
Most people do not have a problem with men wearing women's clothes in public as long as you are confident and natural when you do - because for most people they have far greater problems to deal with than what you look like.
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