No trophy? What do you mean, no trophy???
Seriously this time.... My "trophy" is acknowledging who I am and living who I am: a woman.
No trophy? What do you mean, no trophy???
Seriously this time.... My "trophy" is acknowledging who I am and living who I am: a woman.
I have read your stories and hardships for several years as a member and also a lurker. I believe you when you say that you are women. No one signs on to that life path, unless there were inner pressures that made that self analylasis true to you personnaly. I know that some of the most trannys, proved to be an life of fiction, most of them are no longer on this board. I cannot envision the pain suffered to get the external to prove the internal womaness that you have experienced. I applaud your journey and victories. peace......
Lea that hit home. Theresa whoever you gives yours to they can have mine too. At what point do we "just get to live" our lives?
Professional thread killer.
Right now!Originally Posted by GabbiSophia
The major point of my little rant is that this is life as usual. I.e., social evaluation happens everywhere, all of the time. Sensitivity in one area relative to others is important as an indication your vulnerabilities. The social realities may or may not interfere with your life (and you can often take action to deal with that), but don't fundamentally change.
Lea
Actually,"transness" is just one of COUNTLESS issues everyone of us encounters on a daily basis our entire lives.
The difference is, we haven't been trained since we were young to learn how to deal with it. Even worse, many of us were trained since infanthood to be men. So, we r ill equipt to deal with the sudden realization we r, or wish to be, women! Never mind trying to figure out WHY we want to be. Didn't discuss this in your Humanities 101 class did they?
What others think of us DOES MATTER! If u believe otherwise, you've got your head stuck in the sand. The sooner u figure out who to tell, who not to tell, and exactly how much? The better off you'll feel!
And, like it or not, your transness does count. Here, and everywhere else. As long as people can see u, they will judge u. An unfortunate, but absolutely true fact of life.
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
The only time my trans-ness becomes an issue in my daily life is the dating scene. Even then, it isn't THAT bad.
You get to a point when you stop obsessing over being TG and just live. After you have been through the rough patches we suffer, it is just a normal life.
I have TG friends but I am not trying to be "in the club" cause I am beyond all that.
It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.
As I carry on my daily life, mostly looking almost like a man, I often wonder if my intuition that I'm a woman is just a fantasy or delusion. And I berate myself for expecting those to whom I have come out to think anything but that, given that only a few of them have been in a room with the real me more than once or twice. It's only to be expected that they would have trouble seeing me as a woman. One old and supportive friend has told me it would be a lot easier for her to come to terms with my real self if I lived full time, and I understand, and sympathize; it would be much easier for me, too.
I've spent enough decades carrying me around in my head to know I'm a woman. But I'll tell you where I'm really not "trans enough," and that's in my inability so far to put my needs above the needs of others, even to the brink of despair. I'm a total failure at that. I'm such an empath that the feelings of others seem more real and legitimate to me than my own, and overwhelm my meager supply of amour de soi. Pardon my French.
I try to write like a highly-structured, logical person. I take care to make sure my spelling is correct, and my sentences and paragraphs flow smoothly, in order to express what I'm trying to say, accurately and clearly. But inside I'm an effing mass of turmoil and self-loathing, ready to explode. My C-reactive protein is tending off the charts, and I don't know where this is all going to lead; but at this point I would welcome someone or something else taking it out of my hands.
Lallie
Time for a change.
for many people the tag line will end up being..
....sorry, unfortunately you ARE trans enough....
I believe the seeds for GD are planted very early regardless of when they finally take root. One of the common feelings is "feeling like a second class woman" that transsexual women feel and react to "until they transcend it".
Transitioning is driven by the need to feel congruence but wrapped up in that need are other needs and one is to also escape the feeling of being "second class" as "not as good". From what I have witnessed this is a deep insecurity that seems to be extremely prevalent among transsexual women even though it is usually strongly denied.
The problem for women is that so much of their identity as women is created out of their bodies as either through physical beauty and or procreative powers (fertility)
Women that cannot bear children or have lost breasts to cancer have experienced this as an attack on their identity as a woman potentially feeling like "less of a woman" in comparison to other women.
A mans body does not carry the same symbolic weight as representative of his identity as a womans does. This is one of the things feminism is trying to address. To free women from the dangers of identifying with her body as her only value. (Being an object in those ways her body can be made useful)
Transsexual women are vulnerable to experiencing the extremes that create profound insecurity in natal women because of their position in relationship to natal women.
If a natal women is not good enough than a transsexual women is even less good enough.
When you transition you also transition into the toxic and poisonous atmosphere that surrounds women because they are women as to the reasons they are valued by the culture.
Transsexual women inherit the problems of being a woman that women are trying to escape from but with an added twist that makes them even more vulnerable to not being able to escape these attacks on self worth and esteem that are woven into the culture by being "born a woman"
There are thousands of paradoxes in being trans and one is that the more you transition and certainly once you completely transition you than must actively reject many of the more toxic values and behaviors that come with being a woman that have been "put upon her"
You have to escape being viewed as a second class person because you are a woman while also escaping the feeling of being a second class woman in relationship to women.
If you cannot you will be trapped in perpetual self loathing with the added danger of mistaking this for how you felt pre-transitioning, leading to the possible conclusion that you were never meant to transition which equals REGRET
Transitioning eliminates GD but it does not eliminate insecurity born out of believing the more toxic messages of the culture we live in and its extremely distorted and superficial values.
Transitioning is not just about what kind of woman you will be but more importantly what kind of person because how you answer that will decide if you end up a miserable unhappy woman.
Last edited by KellyJameson; 03-05-2015 at 08:47 PM.
The Psychology of Conformity
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARGczzoPASo
Mars brain, Venus brain: John Gray at TEDxBend
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuM7ZS7nodk
Dunno. I just live as me, don't really think about trans much anymore. Guess I'm not trans as much as I am a woman.
All I ever wanted was to be a girl. Is that really asking too much?
Judging from your latest avatar, I'd say you are less interested in joining us as an Acolyte Princess of the TresClique ("tray-click-ay") in Adoration of Her Elite Holiness than you are in channeling one of the Queens of the Great Folk Scare of the 60's. But is it as satifying to be Joni Mitchell? She's so, so individual ... Surely you would feel better knowing your place?
Lea
Peer pressure and being part of this peer group makes us want to live up to the group's expectations. Everybody loves success stories but some of us are struggling. Everybody has to make the best of it no matter what their circumstances. I prefer to be tranny-less.
LeaP: I*do* wish it on everyone!!!!
At least they would then have a clue about those of us who don't have a choice.
- MM
- Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
----------------------------------------------------------------
"I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder
I can do both. And I write my own songs and they are anything but folky I'm more sophisticated than 3 chords, I ues 4.
I use 2 chords. Much easier.
I just write words and let someone else deal with the difficulties of putting music to them.
My parents should have known something wasn't quite right when I kept putting Kens' head on Barbies' bodyRachel Smith May 2017
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC][SIZE="3"]Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want. Dan Stanford[/SIZE][/SIZE]
I used to feel like one in a million now with this forum I feel like one OF a million
“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” ― Joseph Campbell
I'm a woman so how can I possibly be Trannier than anyone? I wonder if I can be more womanly.......
I heard a comment recently that TS think they are the pinnacle of crossdressing.
Here in lies one of the issues, TS may share similarities with crossdressers and often think they once were crossdressers. The thing is us TS end up screwed up and going through counselling etc and then we learn it has nothing to do with clothes, it's about identity. Crossdressers that identity as male usually don't understand this difference and that difference makes us as different as Cats are to Lions. There is no pecking order as we are not even on the same page.
The second issue is those that have transitioned/transitioning vs those that don't. It's not that there is a hierarchy but for one it is still analysis and wishes another it is reality and that reality changes you.
The guy that spends hours learning and exploring what it is to skydive, can he really relate to the guy that has actually jumped out of a plane? If the guy that has done it says, you don't know what it's like. Is he 'Divier' than the other or just more experienced?
Just as well I don't have any trans friends (in the real world). As with hardly any Testosterone, I do not have the competitiveness to out Trans someone.
Im not a TRANSITIONING female but i NEED to express my self as a WOMAN. this started out just having the FETISH for the clothes/ shoes. i believe the fettish was subconsciously SUPPRESSING my female side to COME OUT. and fetishes NEVER go away, but im addressing the issue by just being ME
You only have to be trans enough for 1 person and that is yourself!!
My parents should have known something wasn't quite right when I kept putting Kens' head on Barbies' body
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC][SIZE="3"]Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want. Dan Stanford[/SIZE][/SIZE]
I used to feel like one in a million now with this forum I feel like one OF a million
“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” ― Joseph Campbell
Actually I'm just doing all this to turn straight men gay and bring about the destruction of traditional family values.
Argh! One of those times when I find myself looking for a "like" button on my his forum!
In all seriousness though, this is one of those threads that I really enjoy and gain insight from reading.
Last edited by Rianna Humble; 03-09-2015 at 04:31 AM.
W W W, you good lady, are ROTTEN enough to be a child of the 80's. But you are too young to be a true one.
Therefore, it is MY privilege to name you an honorary child of the 80's
And honey, you know how many "straight" men love us?
It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.
Chords? Guitar??
Two words: "Scruggs Style"
Lea
I've decided to start making experimental "tranny" music. I'm writing a song using only an E7sus4 and the the word tranny but in Khoekhoe.
And Lea, who said anything about a guitar, I was talking about a didgeridoo!
Last edited by Aprilrain; 03-08-2015 at 10:09 PM.
That's why I'll start 'em out gentle before sending them off to the bears.
Posting Permissions
