Yes Nadine! It's all or nothing round these parts. The Superintendent will probably schedule the surgery for you! Good luck with that.
Yes Nadine! It's all or nothing round these parts. The Superintendent will probably schedule the surgery for you! Good luck with that.
So true Nadine.
How about the National Cross-dressing Day or as the civilians call it Halloween.
halloween-2014-2.jpg
If my favourite football team loses this un-losable match I will wear a dress and type letters all day tomorrow.
That is how I would frame it.
You make the bet and lose it.
Don't lose your job tho'.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Why not do it the other way round? Tell your colleagues you would like to dress for a day and that you could all pretend it was for charity and not just because you wanted to. Then you tell your non-work friends you were doing it for a good cause and ask them to sponsor you.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
On the one hand, VG, I understand your dilemma, because I have been given permission, to wear skirts and or kilts at work, and still haven't done so. ( OK, I did once change before walking out the door, but no-one saw ) On the other hand, the bet idea has a pretty big potential for being revealed for being a ruse, and seems a bit silly as well. Does your wife know how much you want to dress at work? How is she on you dressing in public generally? If she is supportive to the point of being OK with that, then I would explore some more straightforward options. Best way, if they are supportive of non-discrimination laws, is to just ask. "Hey, boss, I should let you know I'm TG. At home I sometimes present as female, is that going to fly around here?" Only you have any idea if that would work. Of course, if it doesn't, then talk to a lawyer first and be ready to document everything.
If you have a new position open up at work, how about you put in a fake application, with a made up resume that looks ideal, and in it say you identify as TG and how does the workplace feel about the mythical applicant sometimes dressing as a woman? This is still being somewhat dishonest, but would at least could get some clarification of the company's attitude. How big is the company? Just this one place?
Another idea, could get complex this one, make up an organization researching TG support levels, and send some emails around to local businesses, including your one, asking for their attitude on supporting TG rights. Heck actually start, an organization for this purpose.
"Normal is what you get when you average out the weirdness that everybody has." Quote from my SO
Normal is a setting on a washing machine, or another word for average.
The fact that I wear a skirt as a male should not be taken as a comment on what you do, or do not wear, or how you wear it.
I'd give it a bit of time, not necessarily for the folks at work to come to terms with it, but for your wife.Originally Posted by VirtuaGrl
You say she is just beginning to understand and support you. Do you think this may be a little too much for her at this stage? Keeping her in the loop, happy, understanding and supportive is probably a bit more important than dressing at work. Try a vacation where you go out as a couple once or twice to get her feelings and input first. That would give you the time out en femme and her a chance to guage her support. If she isn't with you on this and you punch the wrong buttons at work it could result in a major upheaval in your life.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
Haha! I had forgotten this thread was out there.
As always, I appreciate everyone's input. As I mentioned earlier, this is really an exercise in creativity more than a reality for a number of reasons.
First and foremost, coming out as tg just isn't a realistic possibility at work. I work in a small office (there are only seven of us here) and the company is less than ten people. While I don't think it would result in me being fired, I think it would likely make things uncomfortable with a few of my co-workers in a way I am just not willing to pursue. Honestly, I think I would be the most uncomfortable with it out there and I really like my job and the people I work with.
Secondly, me planning to go to work dressed when it was my own business on Halloween is how my wife learned about my crossdressing and it very nearly ended our marriage. So, without it being for a very good cause, I am pretty sure it won't fly with the wife no matter how accepting my work may be. Again, I fantasize and try to work out ways to be "forced" into it, but realistically, I don't really see it happening anytime soon. I'm always on shaky ground with the wife and always seem to manage to screw things up by pushing the boundaries my wife and I have established. Despite my own awareness of it, the damned Pink Fog always seems to sweep in. I lower my guard briefly because we're in a good place and I follow some impulsive instinct and get myself in trouble. This sort of thing is just begging for trouble.
So until someone comes up with a fog-free plan that doesn't involve totally outing myself at work and that will pass muster with the wife, I have no intention of actually trying anything.
And if you DO, it pretty much shows that you're regularly skilled in doing so, so any possibility of hiding your desire to crossdress in the first place is gone. Perfectly fitting female garments, and female behavior aren't found overnight. You'd be 'made' pretty quick. Basically, you're just looking for a way to crossdress in public but still deny that you're a crossdresser; it falls under the old 'forced feminization' fantasy where you get to throw the responsibility for your crossdressing onto someone else. Good luck with that.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
This, I wouldn't risk a negative reaction from people you work with.
At best I'd perhaps bring "Halloween pictures" in and see how they react.
Here is a true story for you. In my first job after college I worked in an office with a female boss and several female employees (the men were a minority). One of the females was about my age and our desks were next to each other so we shared a lot of small talk. This woman never wore a skirt or dress to work, and this made me curious. So I made comments that she should wear a dress to work, and she would look nice in a dress. However this woman just won't do it. I would make comments about how nice other females in the office looked, and encouraged her to dress up to their level. Finally one day she said, "When you agree to wear a dress to work, then I'll do the same." This was unexpected. A discussion followed where I pointed out that if I wore a dress to work with her, then no one would notice her. Also, it would be disruptive to the work environment, and our boss would have to fire me. About then our boss stepped in and wanted to know what we were talking about. When we explained it to our boss, our boss' response was even more surprising. She thought it was a good idea and encouraged both of us to do it.
So it sounds like you have a realistic view of your situation. Good. What you seem to be experiencing with your OP is the normal desire to increase your dresssing with your wife's understanding or even approval. That's to be expected. However, the only reliable remedy is time. It sound like you are in a better place than a lot of the girls here who have no support from their SOs. So treasure those moments when you can dress, and eventually it may become the fixture in your life you desire.
Bridget
Your friendly, neighborhood cyber CD.
My advice is to never mix crossdressing and your job. Your co-workers and bosses don't need to know about your hobby and when it comes time for layoffs or promotions, this may enter into their decisions, laws or no laws.
There are plenty of opportunities to crossdress somewhere else.
What Krisi says. Never assume your co-workers share any enthusiasm for crossdressers. It can become an unwelcome distraction.
Hi VG
I have written here about an experience I had a while back.
I first got into CDing properly about 18months ago. At Christmas/New Year we get together with a group of friends for a murder mystery evening and dress the part. I suggested that for a change we all swap genders for the night. My SO bought a nice skirt and blouse and a cheap wig for me (no underwear sadly) and she planned to wear male clothes.
About a week beforehand all the others chickened out, but needless to say I decided we would still go as intended. It was a hoot and I thoroughly enjoyed being en femme and had plenty of attention from the GGs who wanted to know how I had created my boobs (sports socks), how I managed in a mid- length skirt, how did I plan to go to the loo (standing or sitting) etc.
It was a great evening and it probably helped me get where I am now with CDing. Sadly at the time I had not ‘come out’ to my SO, so the skirt and blouse went back to the charity shop.
There may be the nub of an idea in the re that could help you. Good luck.
Vikky
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Adventure before dementia
Good advise so far and I have no clue how you might pull off going to work dressed. I do have a light heart-ed suggestion. Tell the co-workers your house was broken in to and they stole all your male cloths. You did not want to be late for work, so you jumped into some cloths, belonging to your wife. Tell them you did not want to look like a man in a dress, so that is why you have make up and a wig on. I would by that if I worked with you, for a small fee, that is.
Karen,
Sadly, no. Things got too crazy for me and I chickened out.
The word quickly spread around the office, and took a life if its own. It scared me, and I was losing sleep. I told them I had nothing to wear. One woman had a 50's style petticoated dress she wanted to donate to the cause. Others offered suggestions too. Suggestions generally directed to formal gowns, and other impractical suggestions. I backed off, telling them that I never had agreed to actually do it. The woman who started it (Diane), had already collected items for me to wear, and she was the most upset by my backing off. So I agreed to go to her house and see how her collected outfits would work on me. So I went to her house and played dress up with her but it wasn't very successful. I couldn't fit into the collected items. Just about everything was way too small. I would still need to buy my own shoes, wig, lingerie, and just about everything. We did some quick calculations on how much it would cost, and that was the end of the story. I was off the hook because it was cost prohibitive. Still the people in the office were disappointed. The most disappointed person was myself, and for many years afterwards I regretted that I didn't just go shopping with Diane and purchase everything I needed. I still dream about what could have been.
so I'm going to guess this was pre-1980? Because you just set up sexual harassment charges big time
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
Before I met my wife, I worked in an office for a major telecom company. Whenever I think about going to work dressed now, I always kick myself for not having had the gumption to do it back then when I could have gotten away with it. Of course back then in the early days of the internet I didn't have the resources we have now nor the protections under the law, but in a company the size of the one I worked for then and being covered by a union, I could have done it (in fact, there was a woman in transition in the building I worked in).
As Bridget noted, I have a pretty realistic view of my current situation and know that this is nothing more than a fun fantasy. I certainly appreciate everyone's concern and warnings against actually trying to carry it out (including the private messages). As much fun as I think it would be, I don't see it actually happening for a number of reasons. My best best now is to focus on the time my wife does allow and accept it and keep my guard up against my own stupid instincts.
You go girl!
Your friendly, neighborhood cyber CD.
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