So many new girls!

[Victoria Demeanor]

Being one of the new girls here, I still remember that starry eyed very nervous gaze I had when I showed up at this door and introduced myself. In my naive state I thought I had to be different and unique and then suddenly found myself in a room full of people like me. not a bad thing by any means, but rather totally reassuring that I was alright. Not normal thank goodness, because normal is boring, but yes alright.
Starting out I was ravenous about reading and learning. I went head on to get my qualifying ten posts in, of course for the free new members steak knife set (still waiting on that by the way) .......
I have read through the threads from long ago and seen the members that have come and gone. seen the same stories and concerns and yes the new members at the door each day with the same stories, needs and fears. I am here quite often right now, but I know that will fade. I don't think I will disappear completely, too many great people here, but life does have a habit of preoccupying our time with other needs.
Wow just reread this and boy do I ramble. I just wanted to say I agree with everyone else..... Now who wants a margarita?

[kristinacd55]

Old timer here......still check in every once in a blue moon. Great place for newbies and oldies alike

[Suzie Petersen]

So for those of you who have been coming here for a really long time, Tracii, Stephanie, NikiMichelle, Beverly (you get in just based on volume alone <lol>), Rader, Charlene, and Kristina .... what do you think about the revolving topics? Does it get annoying after a while? Do you roll your eyes a little bit or is it just par for the course that the same things will come up again and again?

Some of you have incredibly high post counts and are obviously very active here, but do you feel the topics you repond to, or start, are of a different nature than the newbie threads?

- Suzie

[pamela7]

From what I've seen in my short year and a half here is there is about a 3 month window on most ( not all ) but alot of people.... sure there are your regulars who pop in.. then there are those here today and gone tomorrow....I get it and understand, but some of those gals I miss.

perhaps there are those who move into being of service to others within the community; some who come for answers, get them and leave; some who come and go; and perhaps many who stay because they're still working through difficult SO situations.

i've been in a pink fog in terms of being on this site obsessively the last 2 months, think i'm coming out the other side now, and will reduce my ha'penn'orth to more occasional observations.

[Kandi Robbins]

Suzie,

I guess I would fall into the new girl category, but certainly not new to crossdressing. I am certainly new to accepting and embracing the girl in me and seeking avenues for letting her out to play on occasion. I lurked here on and off, but really came to the realization on my own that this is who I am and that I needed to open up and be honest to my beloved wife. Once that was done, Kandi was born, signed up here and now she is taking on a life of her own. And you know what? She's a damn fine woman, if I must say! And she has made me a greatly improved man, no doubt about that. You know, it really is sad that we are so misunderstood (and I was one who did misunderstand before), because this is a very fun and loving community and I am so proud to now be part of it!

Damn proud new girl,
Kandi

[Suzie Petersen]

Victoria: Now who wants a margarita?

I'll have one please Victoria

Kandi: ... And she has made me a greatly improved man, no doubt about that. You know, it really is sad that we are so misunderstood (and I was one who did misunderstand before), because this is a very fun and loving community and I am so proud to now be part of it!

Excellent comments Kandi, thanks! I couldn't agree more. But .... why is it that we cant find a way to bring these good sides of ourselves out, without having to assume a female character? Why cant we just be sensitive, caring, fun, talkative males? Or .. is it just an excuse we use?

- Suzie

[flatlander_48]

Although I joined a long time ago, I didn't post much until the last few years. I spent several years living outside of the country and while I dressed in the seclusion of my apartment, I didn't dare go out in public. I came back at Christmas 2011 and spent most of the next year working in North Carolina. But since then, I've been at home 90% of the time. That's made a difference as far as acquiring a wardrobe populated with dresses, skirts, tops and shoes. The undergarments have been in place for a long time, but the rest needed to catch up.

Anyway, it has been a long time since 2005. In the last 15 months, I've joined 2 groups of crossdressers, been out fully dressed several times to meetings and makeup skills are coming along. The wig is still a bit of a challenge, however, but it will yield eventually.

I think there is a natural ebb and flow, wax and wane to Life and we crossdressers are subject to this. Our interests change and Life circumstances change; sometimes for the better, sometimes not. Relationships change also. Many here talk about being in DADT relationships. Sometimes they stay the same, sometimes they get better, but also sometimes they get worse. It's not inconceivable that people cut back severely and sacrifice dressing in the interests of their family situations. My guess is that may be some of what we see with the coming and going.

One of the things that I had not anticipated was running into people here who shared some of same interests I have, aside from dressing. I've mentioned on occasion that I am a Car Guy and a BIG motorsports fan. Name a national touring series here in the US and chances are I've seen it somewhere over the last 50 years. But, I was totally surprised to find like-minded folks here. To me that's a God send as while I thoroughly enjoy dressing, it's not the only thing that I like to talk about as you can add cycling, architecture, industrial design and LGBT politics.

We always talk about how when people find out that we dress, the first thing out of their mouths is the Gay Question or the Do You Want To Be A Woman Question. But the thing is, there is so much more to us than the one facet of our lives that we dedicate to dressing. Similar to Ls, Gs and Bs, we are not defined by this one part of our lives, but that's what happens when we let others define us. We abdicate that control and that is not helpful to any of us. It's analogous to negeotiating from the high ground. Things usually work out better when you can do that.

DeeAnn

[CynthiaD]

While it's true that the same topics come up over and over, some of them remain interesting to me. The thing that intrigues me most is the people who are struggling with self-acceptance. I was at that point at one time, and I gradually came to see my transgendered nature as a great blessing rather than a curse. Today I'm completely comfortable with myself and my crossdressing. I am proud of who I am. If I can help even one person progress along that path, even a tiny little bit, then my time here has not been wasted.

More than anything else, that's what keeps bringing me back here.

So wear that dress, and wear it proud!

Cynthia

[trishacd]

I agree with you.

[Dana44]

I'm a new girl here, count me in. I've been dressing on and off for most of my life. I have come out to my girlfriend and it takes a lot of communication. We just came back from a nice dinner out. I think I passed as they called us ladies. Although a GG looked hard at me in the restaurant foyer. LOL I was wondering what she was thinking. I would like to hear from the old timers.

[Suzanne F]

I came here about 2 years ago after coming out to my wife. Other than slipping on a few pairs of panties I had never really dressed. I had known from a young age that things were not what they seemed. Anyway this site saved me. My wife helped me and I began to dress. I now post on TS site but often come here to see how everyone is doing. I can't say enough about how much the girls here have helped me!
Suzanne

[flatlander_48]

I'm a new girl here

Yes, and if you want to become Less New, don't refer to your elders as Old Timers. Whippersnapper...

DeeAnn

[AngelaYVR]

Threads such as 'how I learned to put on pantyhose' leave me wanting to write an anti-social rant on the thread. Not surprised people leave.

[Teresa]

Suzie,
I think your comments raise several points !
More people are accepting and coming out to the fact that they have CDing desires, I think the shame and guilt my generation carried is dealt with better in the more open society we have now !
Also this may sound blunt but I literally didn't have the time to dwell on it until well into my forties there was so much going on with life, trying to run a business, bring up and educate two children extending my house etc ... !
Some of the younger ones don't appear to have the same commitments anymore ! Yes it is great they find the forum and use it for help and advice and most of us are willing to respond because of the years of coming to terms with CDing !!

Suzie,
Your reply #31 is often a question I pose myself, what is it about dressing that we need to bring out the other side of us ? Is it because we feel shackled as a man, we're mentally stuck with the image of how men are supposed to act ? When I look back on the male side it's possibly true, an overbearing father, an all boys school, having to do heavy work to try and bury CDing thoughts and prove I'm a man ! I certainly think it's why I want to be more open with my CDing now !! Sounds more than just an excuse, it's a real need !

[Kandi Robbins]

But .... why is it that we cant find a way to bring these good sides of ourselves out, without having to assume a female character? Why cant we just be sensitive, caring, fun, talkative males? Or .. is it just an excuse we use?

Good question, let me tell you a funny story. My oldest daughter lives in Raleigh, NC. It is plainly obvious to anyone that knows me that I have changed and am so much happier (but only my beloved wife really knows why). She texts her mother one day wondering if I was suffering from some health issue because I have been too happy! And she no longer lives around us, so she doesn't see me as often. My point, I'm not using it as an excuse, my personality has become completely feminized, but I am still very much a man in every other aspect. I truly wake up each day and thank the good Lord for making me this way! Great discussion!!!

[pamela7]

i'd have thought the "old-timers" would have sorted it all out by now. :-))))
mostly you did/have, it's a lot easier for me than for those who went before.

[flatlander_48]

There are a lot of facets to this. We could be talking about chronological age that we are now, age when we started dressing seriously, how long we've actually been dressing seriously, how long since we've had our own epiphany, etc. There have been many posts here about people who have been dressing for years, but only have come to some reconciliation in their minds very recently and all of the other permutations that you could imagine.

Anyway, the point is that the timing of when we make peace with this additional facet of our lives can occur at any time. It isn't necessarily a function of longevity.

DeeAnn

[Teresa]

Pamela,
I'm wondering where you've drawn the line between young'uns and old-timers ? Please don't throw any more labels in the mix it's bad enough now deciding what umbrella we come under !!

[27th Jennifer]

I've been on this forum for many years. Sometimes I go a long time between visits. But I will always come back. This forum has absolutely changed my life. Times are changing. The transgender community (the entire spectrum) is becoming more visible. We need to accept ourselves before anyone else will accept us as who we are.

Ana

[pamela7]

Pamela,
I'm wondering where you've drawn the line between young'uns and old-timers ? Please don't throw any more labels in the mix it's bad enough now deciding what umbrella we come under !!

I was echoing the joke for DeeAnn, but hey, I would start "old timer" at 80 in normal age, and perhaps 10 years of CD-ing? :-)

(only joking, don't worry, no more labels)

[Isabella Ross]

Airport Angela, don't you ever consider leaving (although I do agree with you on that particular post). But seriously, it's only natural that some people move on. I think of this forum as a form of therapy in that it's a place where many of us have gathered to better understand and accept ourselves. The goal of any therapy is to have a successful and permanent outcome. And those that have moved on have probably done so because they've achieved this. For me, this site, and many of you on it, have helped me immensely, and so I do find myself not checking in as often as I have in the past. But I do think I'll always be a part of it.

[flatlander_48]

I was echoing the joke for DeeAnn, but hey, I would start "old timer" at 80 in normal age, and perhaps 10 years of CD-ing? :-)

(only joking, don't worry, no more labels)

Yes, I know!

But the thing is, we come here by so many different paths and events in our lives. To me, that's pretty cool. It reinforces that notion that there is no ONE path; there is no Right way to do this. Granted, some ways are definitely better than others but there are a number that will serve well.

Personally, I rejoice in the fact that we come from everywhere, have done many different things and have many perspectives on what being transgender means to each of us; not what it is, as I believe that to be fixed, but what it means to us and what we draw from it. I like it that some think like me and some don't. I like it that some look like me and some don't. I like it that some have similar professions to me and some don't. This is what makes each of our perspectives unique...

DeeAnn

[CountessVF]

Yes, and if you want to become Less New, don't refer to your elders as Old Timers. Whippersnapper...

DeeAnn

"Get off my lawn ya darn whippersnappers!"

How does one qualify as an elder here? It's been almost 25 years since I put the first "incorrect" item on. Or is it a matter of time on forum?

[flatlander_48]

Yes.

DeeAnn

[Sammy777]

for every new girl who joins, another one dissapears... they either got bored here, or just dropped off the face of the earth only to come back two years later....i find THAT interesting.

Whatever do you mean? No one does that