An unexpected step

[KlaireLarnia]

I have taken an unexpected step in my dressing in terms of something that has happened over the last 2 weeks. The first part was a concious decision albeit not for the reasons which now present themselves. This something dawned on me and it no longer seems to be something of concern. Each Friday it is a casual dress day at work. You can wear anything you like as long as it is not indecent. For me it is a way to express my dressing in a less restrictive way
a good example is that it allows me to wear calf length boots where as I cannot really wear them normally under the "smart causal" dress code which applies the rest of the week.

Last Friday I decided I wanted to wear a red tunic top. I have worn a couple before but this one had a swing bottom, in effect making it more of a tunic dress. An image is shown below:

Fashion World - Pack of 2 Short Sleeve Swing Tunics.jpg

It was worn with Jeans, boots and a large causal necklace. I felt comfortable, got no adverse reactions so all good.

This week I bought a few new tops reading for summer and also to try and open up a few new options. A couple are satin fronted print tunics. Something I have never had but thought I could wear and get away with. So yesterday I went with one as show (the woman is a model and is not be in case anyone asks)
JD Williams - Edit Mirror Print Tunic.jpg

Again worn with jeans and a pair of tan coloured casual shoes. No problems again. I felt good, comfortable and very natural. I am sure it probably raised a couple of eyebrows but nothing was said to my face and everyone seemed ok.

But when I got home and ready for a bath that night I took my jeans off and for some reason looked in the mirror and thought, "I could do a skirt now". I have never had an interest in skirts/dresses - I own 2 skirts but these are for the odd occasion I do fancy wearing one. But here I was, seriously contemplating a skirt at work. Apart from not being able to wear it at home or as I walk to/from the car there is no real reason I can see why I cannot wear one at work. My desire to wear and be seen in female clothes is not hidden, it actually smacks you round the face and gives you a massive kiss on the check afterwards. So would it really matter if I do this? It is not something I am going to rush into and I may try a few other tunics out to see if they manage to give me the same feeling so I can ensure I an not going to make a massive mistake.

It does pose the question as to whether I will soon be seen in a skirt (especially with summer coming) and if I am, will it be a good or bad decision.

[JayeLefaye]

...Apart from not being able to wear it at home or as I walk to/from the car there is no real reason I can see why I cannot wear one at work.

It does pose the question as to whether I will soon be seen in a skirt (especially with summer coming) and if I am, will it be a good or bad decision.

Hi Klaire, and congrats on the steps!

Couple of questions/answers.

1. Why can't you wear a skirt at home or on your way to the car. If it's because of the neighbors, then I'd say I understand. If it's because of a wife, then I'd advise against it, simply because of the deception part.

2. Are your employers aware that you're actually cross dressing, or is it something that they just haven't noticed? Because they WILL notice a skirt, and that could cause distractions in the work-place, which wouldn't go over very well with management.

Just wondering? And I DO hope you get to enjoy the feeling of a skirt/dress!

Jaye

[KlaireLarnia]

HI Jaye.

In answer to your questions:

1) Both. It is one thing to wear items that give a feminine overtone as i walk out of the door and to the car (and back), but it is something else to wear a skirt openly. At home I do wear one on odd occasions but only when my daughter is asleep and my wife is out. My wife is fully aware of my dressing as I wear female clothes 24/7. In 2014 I worn male items exactly 3 times and even then it was limited to shirts because of the places we where going to. My wife would not approve of a skirt either in fairness but that is something I can work around if/when the time comes.

2) Because of what I wear you cannot miss my cross dressing. Add it to the female shoes, bra with forms in it, my large shoulder bag, earrings and everything else I wear daily at work and here is no mistaking it! I have moved to bring it out in the open over 2 years and it has done so well. Whilst at present I limit myself to shirts, trousers and jumper/cardigans, they are always female ones. A few good example of the shirts I wear are is shown below.

Fashion World - Look Printed Long Sleeve Shirt.jpgJulipa - Joanna Hope Roll Up Sleeve Blouse.jpgFashion World - Colour Block Contrast Shirt.jpgKalediscope - Fair Lady Short Sleeve Satin Blouse.jpg

I have questioned if I need to address any further changes to my dress style directly with work in fairness and will continue to do so as I work out if a skirt is to become part of my everyday wardrobe or not. I do not feel a dress will happen (other than the tunics I wear now) but a skirt I can now see being a real possibility.

[Beverley Sims]

Klaire,
It is interesting, I see no great leap between a dress and a skirt.

My leap if any is between trousers and a skirt/dress.

My tops are all feminine as are my sweaters.

[reb.femme]

Hi Klaire,

Well, I admire your style and strength to be you. It would be pure heaven to wear the satin blouse and skirt for my company's dress down Friday. However, it will remain only a dream as the coming out at work thing is not something I can envisage. As a large UK utility, I'd probably have no problems from HR but don't see any benefits to it right now.

I'm working in our head office all next week, so will have to canvass opinion amongst my IT set on the sly as to the possibility. I'll get ripped for it but hey, its all in the interests of science. I love skirts myself and it sounds like you will be a more out and about convert too.

Oh, and I love the tunic dress thing.

Rebecca

[Jason+]

Work for me is probably the last place I don't routinely go wearing anything more than underwear and on a couple of noted exceptions colored nail polish. The length of my nails is well past standard male but they are usually bare.

I find it fascinating that the the line for you seems to be the skirts where it is obvious from your descriptions and pictures that you are indeed wearing womens clothing. The line in my head if you will seems to be between skirts which I will routinely wear out and dresses. I love my dresses just as much but some times to me they seem too much over the top if even though the dress in question may be a more casual style.

[JayeLefaye]

Thanks for the clarification. GO FOR IT!!!!!

Jaye

[KlaireLarnia]

Oh, and I love the tunic dress thing.

If you want the Tunic top you can get it at Simply Be for £18.00. I got the other print top there as well.
JD Williams - Print Jersey Tunic.jpg


I think the reason for my thinking is that a skirt/dress is (next to a bra) the epitome of female clothing. When we think of women and what they wear the skirt is the key item. A bra can be hidden and whilst it is often obvious I have one on, it is still not on show. If I am wearing semi-transparent tops I always wear a vest/under-shirt to cover the bra.

A skirt cannot be hidden, it will show against my legs even if I wore tights/leggings. I can still wear the same upper clothes as I do now so when I am sat at my desk it would not be obvious - but the nature of my job requires regular trips to the printer at the other end of the room (only about 60-70 feet), so I could not disguise it for very long.

I would hope a denim or formal black skirt could be switched off to in people's heads but I think a dress would be too much. I appreciate work has been very tolerant of me and what I wear which I am grateful for and understand how lucky I am in that respect.

I think the move to wearing a skirt will happen or at least be broached at work but given how I view it I need to make sure that I am comfortable with it and this time likely that work is too. Thankfully I know one person I can approach about it although they will not be the one who can say yes/no but they could at least guide me on their thoughts and if positive who/how to bring the question up best with.

[Katey888]

Klaire, nice to have an update from you again, unexpected or not...

I do think this is a great example of the right way to approach pushing boundaries - you clearly think the implications through before taking a step, even an unexpected one. I hope your colleagues and powers that be will see it all in a positive light and you receive no negative repercussions... you're deserving of that.

I just have something of a latent fear that the 'raised eyebrows' you've experienced might become more strident voices of misplaced bigotry as you push your envelope - I hope it's not the case and as long as you maintain the support of the management you should be OK. Once again - good luck!

Katey x

[Marcelle]

Hi Klaire,

Thanks for sharing. I guess when it comes down to it, it is about your comfort level in what you wear. I am going to hazard a guess that those around you know you cross dress given the styles you have presented via pictures (not androgynous but definitely female). Would a skirt be a bridge too far for your employer would be my question?

However, in the end you are doing what you need to do to feel good and that is the important thing.

Hugs

Isha

[Teresa]

Klaire,
I only want to dress in skirts or dresses, I don't own female trousers, I've tried my wife's to find the look but they do nothing for me !

[KlaireLarnia]

I tried to answer this before but my tablet decided to crash on me after spending 10 mins writing the reply

Katey/Isha, Thank you for the comments. At work I have tried to work on the ideal of "female versions of male items", so female trousers, shirts, jumpers etc. That has developed somewhat to include some formal collarless shirts/tops and Fridays with casual clothes being whatever I am comfortable in that day. The exposure was limited and became more open as I got more comfortable and learnt what I could and could not wear publicly. Remember I do not present as female, I am clearly a man in women's clothes - i.e a cross-dresser and very open about it. I walk into supermarkets, shops dressed. The local shop about a 5 min walk from work are all decent and treat/talk to me like a man despite my clothes which is what I want.

I remember when I first letting the clothing become more visible I did see some adverse reactions, for the most part the people who gave me these reactions have left the company now, and the any others who remain are actually okay towards me now. I think that because I present an air of confidence in what I wear it comes over to how people then react. I do sometimes wonder what is said when I am not around, such as lunchtimes if I go out for a walk or nip to the toilet etc. I am sure people do comment and wonder how my wife/daughter put up/deal with my dressing. I have not had any open negativity or requests to change/tone down what I wear because if I did I would do so instantly for obvious reasons.

I am (I think rightly) wary of moving to a skirt because there is such a scope for adverse reactions to occur and this is why I am treading carefully and considering things first - where as with other items I just started to wear them. A skirt is unquestionably a woman's domain in the public eye and there is no scenario a man could wear one openly. This is why what I do next is so important. It may be for a couple of weeks I wear tunics again on Fridays using their length as a way to plant a seed in people's minds. I would like to get a cold day in the next couple of weeks as I have a tunic style jumper which would be a great example to wear as it ends below the bottom of the groin area and if worn with a t-shirt could be removed after a while so again the small seed is planted but not overly watered.

Let's see what this week brings as the person I would look to speak to first is on leave until the middle of next week which gives me the time to think and plan before I make an lasting decision.

[FrancineS]

Klaire, you will never go wrong with a skirt. So many options lengths and material etc. The boots on casual Friday will really rock with a skirt. You might like it just my opinion.

[pamela7]

Klaire,
the tunic-tops serve very well as a skirt stepping stone for me. They're sufficiently blended against jeggings/leggings that most folks don't even notice - so far, anyway.

[KlaireLarnia]

I do wear Jeggins (I have a pair in black, dark blue and white) as I agree they are a useful item which people fail to notice. I have tried proper leggings a couple of times but find my legs get too cold - but I think that is just down to not being used to them.

During the normal week I when I cannot wear tunics I do often wear long-line shirts which go below the hips so again give that air of wearing something over my trousers which i think then helps with the tunics on Friday.

I will update on this in due course when I finally make a decision on when/if to broach the possibility and how it goes/why.

[FrancineS]

Thank you for keeping us up to date. I have fallen in love with my jeggins. But I love my skirts and dresses a wee bit more.

[celeste26]

Well the next barrier will be to wear those items on regular days, not on "casual Fridays." As long as they meet the company standards for women, then why not? Everyone already knows about your choice in women's clothes so no one should be surprised. I'll bet their reaction will be what took you so long?

[KlaireLarnia]

I do wear collarless blouses at times. There are no formal tunics I can find which would give me the style and length needed to bridge the gap. The only formal option is an actual dress and that at present is not something I am comfortable with yet.

Tomorrow I am waiting grey trousers and a loose collarless top (similar to the forth picture in my second post above but not in satin) which is about as far as I can go outside of casual days.