Being found out or outed?

[Amber_Lynn86]

In the past I went through so much pain and aggravation to hide my dressing. I'd get mortified at the thought of someone finding out about my crossdressing. But now it really doesn't matter to me if people find out or see me dressed as amber. Ive came out to two GG friends of mine that have been completely awesome and supportive to me, and they have both encouraged me to bring amber out and let her shine. I think 2015 is going to be alot of first's for me and I'm never going to look back. Ive been hiding the real me for to long.

[GeauxStacy]

Amber - I felt the same way as you do. I have gotten to the point now where I do not care if someone sees me as Stacy. I plan to do a lot more outings and I no longer care what people think. I like being Stacy and if they don't it is their problem not mine. :-)

[krissy]

I think you both are so awesome im close to that point in my life

[Amber_Lynn86]

Love you girls!!

[Amber_Lynn86]

Honestly lately I've really been considering transitioning. It makes me depressed when I see myself in male mode its like I'm wearing an ugly costume over amber.

[flatlander_48]

A_L:

Ultimately, there is only one way to find out where all of this sits for you. You just have to get out there and take it all in. While similar, you path will be different from the rest of us. We are all different people with different upbringings and experiences and perceptions. However, it remains true that we are more alike than we are different.

DeeAnn

[Beverley Sims]

With changing attitudes life should be better for you now.

[kimdl93]

You know your situation and can make an informed decision to bring Amber out. I hope it goes well for you!

[Marcelle]

Hi Amber,

As one who is quite open to those around me, I agree in that it can be very liberating to let this go and just be who you need to be. However, once you step through the looking glass, there is no going back once people find out. However, if you are prepared for that then go forth and enjoy.

Hugs

Isha

[Lee Andrews]

I don't care if anyone knows but my wife does. So I remain in the shadows wondering if anyone notices the silhouette of my skirt and heels.

[Krisi]

Just remember, coming out as a crossdresser is something you can't undo. Think carefully about this, it will affect the rest of your life.

[FrancineS]

The weight being lifted from hiding was a tremendous feeling. Some may not be able to so that's why I like this site we all come from different directions. Good luck to you and remember we are here.

[GingerLeigh]

For me, I don't think I really care about what others think anymore. I haven't outed myself or gone out publicly, but I've been living under suspicion for some time and simply got used to the scrutiny. I now only fear that public confirmation of my crossdressing will harm my children and cause them to be bullied at school and in my neighborhood.

I don't want my family to suffer for what I do.

[Majella St Gerard]

I used to be deathly afraid of anyone finding out about my CD'ing, I thought I'd be ruined. Then I met a wonderful woman who encouraged me to be me and brought me out of my shell, she gave me the confidence to accept who I am and to not worry about what others might think. I have always been a non-conformist and felt like a square peg, but I was always holding a little bit back, never going over the line too much to attract too much undue attention, just edgy enough to be different. Now I say. to hell with what people think, I know what I am and don't care what people think. For all intent and purpose I am OUT, I dress up and go out regularly, wear dresses, skirts, girl jeans, shorts, heels, combine male and female attire, make up, whatever I am in the mood for. I do not wear a wig as you can tell from my photos, I do not present myself as a woman, I am clearly a man in a dress and that's the way I like it and I have gotten many compliments on my presentation, from woman and from men. Once you let go of you inhibitions you will feel like a huge weight is lifted from you. And once you are out there is no going back, Just be yourself and be happy, when out carry yourself with confidence and pride, walk like a lion and no one will treat you like a mouse. Good luck in your journey.

[Bria]

I'm like Lee Andrews, I don't care much, but my wife sure does, so guess what, I don't get out except once a week to the local girls nite out. Wish I could do more, but you've got to respect the SOs limits.

Hugs, Bria

[franlee]

It is not that I would care if it only affected me, but it is not that simple when you have family or even friends. It is a simple but true concern that what we do will be projected or taken out on them more so than "us." I could deal with the consequences and the joys if it was just me. But here in the country where every body knows you and are mostly kine one way or the other we tend to gossip and tend to each others' business. And that is where the problems start.

[Adriana Moretti]

good for you Amber...I fly that same flag....although I am not OUT to the entire world, alot of people DO know....and if those that dont know find out, I could care less....My photos are all tastefull, I actually contribute & support this lifestyle...what are they gunna do? If they dont like it, thats ok with me...

[Lorileah]

Just remember, coming out as a crossdresser is something you can't undo. Think carefully about this, it will affect the rest of your life.

Yeah sort of like getting married, or volunteering your time to charity, or any one of thousands of things where you take control of who you are and live happily. There is an old joke about that (can't repeat it here) but it has to do with doing many good things and not getting a label but do one thing considered odd or "wrong" and you are that forever.

I have to reiterate, as long as the TG community thinks that dressing is somehow wrong and they keep hiding in the shadows, how the heck can we convince the vanilla world otherwise. There are a lot of things that will change your life forever, some bad that you can't control. Some good that takes pressure and fear off you. Being who you are is a good thing. Living with guilt and shame...not so much

[cheryl reeves]

im very out,i may not dress like i want,so alot of times i under dress. my wife has set us a goal where once or twice a month we can get a motel rm for two days where i can be cheryl fulltime those days..i love my wife for she wad the one who got me out of the house and see the eorld as cheryl

[ashley_addams76]

For me, I don't think I really care about what others think anymore. I haven't outed myself or gone out publicly, but I've been living under suspicion for some time and simply got used to the scrutiny. I now only fear that public confirmation of my crossdressing will harm my children and cause them to be bullied at school and in my neighborhood.

I don't want my family to suffer for what I do.

Spot on. It's one thing if you decision only affects you, but when it comes to your wife and your children or even your job, it has be heavily considered what you do moving forward.

[Amber_Lynn86]

good for you Amber...I fly that same flag....although I am not OUT to the entire world, alot of people DO know....and if those that dont know find out, I could care less....My photos are all tastefull, I actually contribute & support this lifestyle...what are they gunna do? If they dont like it, thats ok with me...

Exactly the same with me Adriana. I don't care if someone doesn't like me or what I'm doing. It's my life you don't have to make comments just keep your trap shut. It's not that hard. You know?

[Brenda456]

I am still in the closet to all except my wife. But, I am moving in the direction of others where the thought of being "caught" does not scare me silly as it once did.

[lingerieLiz]

Everyone fears being ostracized but while it can happen most often it does not. I've been out to varying degrees since the 50s and outed several times. Looking back I wished I had been out more, but I've enjoyed my life and am comfortable with who I am today.

[Lily Catherine]

Hi Amber,

As long as you have made peace and intend to continue making peace with your decisions, and you feel ready, go for it. But don't rush through everything or try too hard; it is a slow but organic process. Who is anyone to convince you otherwise?

[Starr]

This kind of hit on something I was thinking this morning... I was getting ready to go get my nails done today and had just finished doing my hair and was touching up my make up. This is when I thought about how I use to would not ever put on makeup in the day time at home because someone might stop by. Here I was putting it on in the middle of the morning and getting ready to go out in public.. When I do this around where I live.. I wear ladies jeans or shorts with a blouse.. panties of course but I leave off the bra and breast forms.. I also wear ladies jewelry with some nice perfume and I don't think anything about it. I even stopped by my parents house on the way home.. which I normal.. So I guess you could say I really don't care..