Are you happy as a home body?

[Michelle (Oz)]

Home was my sanctuary while losing the weight I had gained over 3 years when I stopped dressing. As soon as I felt better about myself it was all systems go (out).

I much prefer the company of others and enjoy the interaction. I'll never pass and don't particularly try to blend but find the public accepting and engaging. It did take a little while to gain sufficient confidence to speak with a male voice but it is empowering. Interestingly, I have many examples of where being different and easily recognised really has its advantages.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Leigh,
I had been content dressing at home for quite a while. then came an urge to step out. One quick footstep out the door, and twice as quickly back inside.
That was all a long time ago, and after a long hiatus, the comfort of home was where it all started again. But once again, that desire to step out came along.
I put it off for a while, and eventually started driving to town and taking some late night walks. Heels really require a sidewalk, the closest one to my home is
nearly 15 miles, and thats still to close to home, so i go another 15-20 miles.
Joining this forum, and finding some local friends, made my desire to get out even stronger. Meeting with these friends, and having such a wonderful time out
and about with them, really made home dressing seem to be less than appealing to me.
After some thought, and my recent post of faded desire and balance, this is more than likely the cause of it. I found being out in public to be more enticing than being home alone. The problem is, those nights out are few, and far between. Frustrating to say the least, I get focused on anything other than dressing.
Although I still think about it all the time, I don't have thoughts of dressing at home. Thats where my concern of lack of balance comes into play.
Wait for a night out, or dress at home to quench that ever building urge........Field tests have been conducted, results will be posted.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Lily Catherine]

While I intend to go out, I'm satisfied with CDing at home, where blending in is not top priority - conducive to pulling as many stops as I want. But factor in blending, and I'd be stranded over- or underdressed. Especially the latter when I currently am in looove with my mini dresses. Hard to bag the cat once it's out though!

[Kirsty Louise]

I like to CD at home and try different outfits on, going out may be a special occasion, also finding the right locations, and for me building up the courage.

[Jeri Ann]

Leigh,

For the most part I have to accept staying in seclusion when dressed but I am not OK with it. I just want to be a normal girl and do normal things. For the last few months I have been able to leave the house several times a week. In a previous post I stated that I often travel pretty when going to see my mom who has been in either a hospital or a skilled nursing facility two hours away. However, I leave early in the morning, while it's still dark. I do stop along the way to shop at Wal Mart, get gas, coffee, etc. Then I change somewhere when I get there. I'm pretty sure that I don't always pass. Occasionally I get a second glance. When I am encountering someone face to face and there seems to be a little scrutiny going on, I seem to be able to disarm them with a warm and heartfelt smile. I like doing that. I have never had a bad experience being dressed while out. I do not want to show off or attract attention in any way. I just want to be normal.

Jeri

[Traceyjo]

I enjoy dressing at home immensely and if I could never go out , I would still be a happy girl. Still, I always feel the urge to go further, to be outside and be seen by others so I do take the opportunity to do so when it arises. I live in a small town and am very well known due to my profession so discretion is essential. I usually go out at night , walking down to the beach or around the streets. I've even walked through the main shopping area at times and I like it most when there are some people around. I just make sure I keep enough distance from them so I won't be outed. Sometimes I walked in the early morning day light as well. So far I've not had any problems but I realise there is always a risk and being recogniised would be disastrous but the thrill of being put and about is too much to resist.

[sometimes_miss]

There's great comfort in being able to accept who we are; I came to that conclusion long ago. After the desire to crossdress came back after five years of marriage, I started to read more about it, and learn as much as I could about all the psychological mechanisms involved. It was then that I discovered that pretty much no one had ever beaten it; that it would never really go away. Knowing also how much difficulty that gays have had to deal with from all the homophobes in the world, I decided to avoid those troubles as much as possible. LIfe is hard enough without going out of our way looking for ways to make our life harder, intentionally. And so I came to the conclusion that I would stay closeted; at least, stay indoors when wearing any female attire. It's not really much of an inconvenience; no more so, say, than putting on a winter hat, coat, and boots and gloves if I should have to go out into a snowstorm or squal. It only takes a moment or two to change back once the chore is complete. And that's how I look at it; just a momentary inconvenience, to avoid all the potential problems of becoming 'the neighborhood pervert'. By staying 'in the closet' I: keep all my current friends and neighbors relationships intact; avoid any problems at work resulting from rumors; keep my nice comfy home by not upsetting the landlord. It's really a no-brainer. I sometimes wonder if people really think that their lives should be one happy event after another. Life doesn't work that way. The most that normal people can hope for is to be content with what we have, put up with the drudgery of life's necessary chores, and enjoy the brief experiences of joy when they come along (and remember those moments when the difficult times arrive). In short, I'm content with my life. Sure, many things could be better; but if they were like that all the time, that would become normal for me, and the experiences would no longer feel as 'happy' when they did occur. So right now, I'll just enjoy life as it is. My plan right now is to make lasagna. Which will provide me delicious evening meals for about a week.

[Stephanie47]

I'm in my sixties and a retiree. I get six to seven hours to be en femme Monday through Friday when my wife is at her job. So, I do have an opportunity to be en femme more than a lot of others. Do I sit around and play with makeup all day? Or change dresses before the full length mirror? No! I'm rather domesticated. My working wife should not be doing household chores when she gets home from work. After dropping her off at work Stephanie comes out to stretch her legs. I am a fifties or sixties girl. That means a pretty dress, slip, hosiery, heels, proper undergarments and my grey curly shoulder length wig is donned and I get to the chores. It's changing bed linens, washing and ironing, vacuuming, washing dishes, baking and meal preparation. I love to take a break and read the morning newspaper while I eat breakfast or lunch inside or in the backyard.

I have gone out en femme. When our daughter lived in the mid west my wife would go to see her for seven to ten days every October. It was great. I could hang my dresses in the closet and lay out my undergarments in my dresser drawers. In the early evenings I got dolled up and drove to the other end of my small city and strolled during the early evening along the sidewalks. I even liked it more if it was rainy, which meant less people to encounter. I loved the cool breeze caressing my legs and playing with the skirt of my dress and slip. I ditched the higher heels and went to a flat one inch shoe for more comfort. In the beginning the strolls felt great, but, alas, there was really no destination. I tired of the outings. I am content to be an "in-home" dresser.

I do not pass at 190 pounds and six foot even. Would I like to meet ladies? Perhaps. I am so comfortable wearing female attire, I often wonder if I were to join a group, would there be more to it than just sitting around in a dress? So, right now I am content to be at home. What I would really like is to have my knowing wife be comfortable with me in feminine attire and give me a loving tap on my butt while I prepare dinner.

JUST NOTICED THIS WAS MY 5,000 th POST, HEY!

[JocelynJames]

Hi Leigh,
I swear I want to go out, but my heart races with the thought. Maybe it's the thrill of the idea. I have talked to my wife about it and want us to feel comfortable with it and not stressed. She's supportive and if I never leave the house dressed her support is all I really need.

[CherylFlint]

No matter how good we think we look in the mirror, there’s no substitute for a women’s point of view.
Looking back on my journey as a CD, I’ve made just about every mistake that a CD can make. I finally got to the point where I knew I needed help.
My first step was to find a professional mastectomy bra fitter who would fit a CD. I asked about 10 different stores until I found one that had no problem with fitting me. I agreed to buy forms and one bra and it was well worth it.
I then slowly went to wig stores and the cosmetic counters at the mall.
At first I didn’t know anything about makeup and the tricks but soon learned by asking questions and practicing. Many a night when I thought I was going out (but never made it to the door) because I just wasn’t satisfied with my makeup. It takes a LOT of practice to get good at it. For me, it was about 3 years until I can talk makeup with anyone.
I can talk shades, manufacture, brushes, creams, lashes, perfume and everything else. Here’s a hint: make a drying rack for your brushes and keep them clean, Use plenty of Q-tips and cotton balls. And don’t be afraid to wash it all off and start from scratch if your not satisfied.
Practice makes perfect.
The payoff is when the SA addresses you as “Miss” and means it.
I ended-up getting married to a woman who enjoys dressing me and going to the mall. We’ve even been to a few baseball games and one football game as wife and Cheryl. And when we eat-out she does the ordering.
Never had so much fun in my life.
Cheryl

[CherylFlint]

A Dear Jocelyn James,
I read your post to my wife.
My wife is totally in charge of how Cheryl looks becasue, as she says, "I'd rather look at a nice looking woman that look at a man in a dress".
Stay out of bars, unless it's a TG club.
My wife takes Cheryl everywhere and has a lot of fun dressing me.
However, there's a lot of compromising. I like sheer blouses, she doesn't. I like short skirts, she dresses me in knee-length. But after close to 20 years as man and wife, I just listen to her and dress whatever she wants me to wear. It turns-out that she's right 100% of the time what it takes to make me "pass" so how can you argue with success?
As I told my wife when we first met, "One of us has to be in charge and that's you".
And that's worked very well for us.
My wife says there's A LOT of women out there who would want what she has, to dress her man. It works for me, too.
Looks like you're as lucky as I am.
Cheryl

[grace7777]

When I am at home I wear a night gown or a night shirt. So if I get fully dressed then I am going out. If I am not going to work and am headed out then I almost always now dress en femme. For work I am in male mode, even though now I wear female slacks and female shoes, but the shoes are not overly feminine looking. Someday I would like to get to the point where I am presenting as a woman 24/7 or a high percentage of the time when outside of my apartment.

[Suzann3]

LeighR being happy or not about whether just being stuck indoors dressed up has a different answer for us all. I am perfectly happy with being dressed up indoors. I never have the desire to go outside to see if I am accepted, nor have the desire to be accepted en femme. I do it for myself. My way of relaxing is to dress up, makes me feel great. So my answer is a definite yes, you can be happy as a home body.

Suzanne x

[Stephanie Morgan]

I have to agree with Kristyn.....heels need a sidewalk. While I am very much a stay at home crossdresser, I have to admit the urge to get out and about grows stronger all the time. Can't get out locally as I am most certainly not out to very many people (only the wife and a handful of very close friends). My wife and I have talked about this on several occassions and have come to the conclusion that when I'm ready, we can go to Atlanta (about 2 hours away) and have dinner, maybe a movie or a show or just whatever we decide. So to answer the original question....I would have to say no, not really happy staying home all the time when I'm dressed.

[wanda66]

I would love to go out with the wife shopping as wanda,it would be heaven. But she would never accepted me as wanda . Those of you who have supporting SO are so very lucky, i do wear a nite gown (shirt) to bed .i dont get dressed untill the last minute durning the week .on the week end later in the morning. I guess iam comtent to be a house girl,with a small need to see the out side world.

[Bridget Ann Gilbert]

When I was younger I would not have been happy staying at home. In fact I went out on my first night en femme, and made it an almost weekly practice. Now though I don't feel it is that important. Before I was looking for reaction and a little validation. Now dressing is something done for personal satisfaction. One thing you will learn with time is that we humans are always evolving and changing. Don't let a little thing like being read keep you from enjoying all life has to offer.

[grumpus]

No, I've never been happy as a "homebody." I am a masculine cross dresser with no chance of passing, but I like to go out sometimes anyway. A bit of shopping wearing a coat that barely hides things, a brief stroll through a parking lot or perhaps a longer walk in the woods is all I can manage. Though it rarely satisfies my urge to be seen, it must be enough.

[Sarah Doepner]

I like getting out of the house, but the problem I have is getting out of the driveway. My house was built on property we bought from my in-laws and they live at the end of that driveway. Since I'm not out to them, or my daughter who lives within walking distance and stops by on a regular basis, I tend to stay behind locked doors a lot when I'm dressed. I'm working on solutions to this problem and when it happens I think Sarah will be spending a lot more time, day and night, in the public arena. Until that happens, I'll bide my time, work on my makeup and presentation and enjoy myself whether I'm at home or out after I've managed an escape.

By the way, my newspaper horoscope today reads: "you might sense that much is going on behind closed doors. Consider breaking past a barrier." So, am I behind the closed door or is the world behind the closed door? hmmmmm.

[Krisi]

Yep, I've been out a few times but I have to underdress and then finish in the car in a parking lot away from home and change back before I return home. I don't want my neighbors to know about my "hobby" and my wife is concerned about it as well.

So, it becomes difficult enough that I have passed up the last few opportunities I've had to do it. If I could just get all dolled up and walk out to the car and back in afterward, it would be different, I would be out a lot.

[Renee]

I dress and stay in about 99% of the time. I do house work, and secretarial work for my wife in her office. This keeps me busy and I dont think about going out in public. My wife does not want me to go out as she is afraid of my being discovered and being outed. While I think I could stand that she wouldnt do so well with it. So I stay at home unless my wife is out of town and I have a cd friend to go and dress with in their home or a hotel in another part of the city. Good luck Leigh!

[Marcelle]

Hi Leigh,

Firstly, I think we all need to find our comfort zone and when we do, that is when we can truly relax being who we need. For some it is "clubbing the night away in a short cocktail dress", for others it is "just being out in the world from time to time" and for others it about "being comfortable at home". You have gone out and found the world to be not such a scary place but you also find solace in just being at home . . . it is all good.

From my own POV, I have integrated this part of me into my life such that going out is just going out . . . no different from being in "guy mode" vice "girl mode". I am just me so I feel comfortable. However, there are times when just staying home in comfy yoga pants, a top and wig (no make-up) makes me feel just as good . . . just hanging out and being me.

Hugs

Isha

[Natalie cupcake]

Going out sometimes takes more planning then to dress up and be at home. Its sometimes hard to find the time to dress up and go out when you have to go away from home to go out. When you only have a few hour to be dressed it easier to stay home. Its not as fun sometimes but you still get to dress up.